Garrett offered up these comments during the press conference on Monday introducing USC's newest hoops commander, Kevin O'Neill. O'Neill possesses many winning qualities including the ability to pick up his phone, leading Garrett to utter the least ringing professional endorsement imaginable:

"I really felt elated about the fact that this is a person who was available."

Kevin O'Neill: The Most Available Coach In America. Ticket line forms over here, Trojan fans!

To be sure that Garrett's record does "hold up," Adam Rose of the LA Times runs the down list of coaches who have turned down/been run out of town by the Garrett administration ... and it is very impressive! Dennis Erickson, Mike Riley, Mike Bellotti, Rick Majerus, Jamie Dixon, Jeff Van Gundy, Lon Kruger. Scratch that, Lon Kruger has never been impressive. But Garrett also has the distinction of firing one USC's greatest coaches (John Robinson) and replacing him with the worst (Paul Hackett.) Plus, he hired Chad Kreuter to coach their baseball team, which is sorta mindblowing, but not in the way you probably think. I assumed he was still backing up Paul Lo Duca in some bizarre alternate reality National League, but you learn something new every day.

USC's Mike Garrett says his record speaks for itself; agreed [LA Times]
Awkward: Kevin O'Neill knows he wasn't USC's first choice [The Dagger]

Obviously, getting fired by the New York Jets is a bond between two men that can never be broken, but what else could these two possibly have to discuss? Their favorite New Jersey toll plazas? The best places to find parking in Foxboro? Nylon vs. wool pullovers? I'm sure USC fans would prefer that Pete Carroll not "talk ball" with anyone but his pets, lest Mangini's unique brand of winning football rub off him. If the conversation went anywhere beyond "latch on to a rich private college and never let go," then it went too far.

The world found out about this through Carroll's Twitter feed (of course) which is also how Pete denied the vicious rumors that two of his players may have used steroids. It's nonsense really. This is Division I football, folks, not the American League West.

Mangini + Pete Carroll = ?? [WaitingForNextYear]
Pete Carroll (PeteCarroll) on Twitter [Twitter]

USC Coach Pete Carroll seems downright despondent over his starting quarterback heading to the NFL.

The LA Times's, "All Things Trojan" blog has the video of the press conference, in which Carroll, usually brimming with positivity, struggles to hide his disappointment with Matt Sanchez's decision to go pro. The only upside to Sanchez coming out early seems to be that the other marquee underclassmen quarterbacks — Tebow, Bradford, McCoy— decided to wait another year. Even the USC faithful feel that Sanchez could use a little more seasoning.

Pete Carroll peeved about Mark Sanchez leaving [LA Times]

I must admit that I am completely perplexed by the lack of attention your training staff is giving to Vidal’s injuries. When I asked Vidal if he received treatment today, he told me that the training room is closed today. In all of my years of associating with athletes, and corresponding with athletic trainers, I have never heard of a training room being closed on a holiday during the sport’s season. This includes Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, etc.
...
What is being done to ensure that my son is being cared for in a proper manner??? When is the USC training staff going to meet his medical needs??? It makes me wonder if the trust that I have extended is misplaced.

The elder Hazelton has admitted he sent the letter to Carroll back on September 1st. The coach had no comment, other than to say "I'm not going to comment on it. This sounds too personal for me to comment on." One person who had no
problem commenting? Vidal's grandmother. She'd certainly have her grandson's back, right?:

“The coaches are very good to us," she said. "There’s no confusion. They made sure he got his treatment and everything’s fine."

“My son is drama. I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

Huh? Et tu, granny?

No one is saying how the letter got out, but let's just say that a certain elderly member of the Hazelton family might find herself without internet privileges for the next little while. Which is a shame, because she was the leading bidder for John Wooden's car.

USC Player's Dad Unloads On Coach Pete Carroll [SbB]

USC football: The Vidal Hazelton mystery continues [USC Freedom Blogging]

This weekend's game is obviously a tough ticket to get , especially the sideline tickets because, apparently, you can't really see anything football-like at Memorial Coliseum if you're in the normal seats. The important people, though, won't have to worry about craning their necks over the heads of the Trojan masses because they'll most likely get the coveted sideline passes. Those scheduled to roam the Erin Andrews terrain include Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx, but some of the other recipients to receive the close to 200 sideline passes are being kept secret, to "create buzz", according to USC's athletic director.

So, who else will get the sideline passes besides big-time donors and Denzel? I hope O.J. gets a pass.

Sideline pass to USC/OSU is hottest ticket in town [LA Times]

"JP is the founder of Pyle of List, where he toils alongside 3 men that are superior writers, passionate sports lovers and respected friends. He's a USC alum, college football enthusiast and Pac-10 apologist. He also contributes to National Lampoon's Zaz Report but isn't responsible for any of their movies. JP is honored to receive your scorn in the comments."

Orson Swindle is a tough act to follow, even when I’m not following him directly. He’s like the “Hot Fuzz” of college football. He somehow manages to lovingly celebrate whilst cleverly ridiculing the SEC football culture. I’m still struggling not to use “we” when talking about USC. Kudos to you, Orson.

With that out of the way, here’s your USC Trojans 2008 Season Preview:

Strengths

Reputation: If USC were any other school, this team would be ranked in the high ‘teens (unless they played in the SEC where they’d be national title favorites). But in college football, unlike any other sport this side of gymnastics, your rep will play a factor in your rankings. This isn’t going to win games for the men of Troy, but will position them favorably in the polls. Also, the Trojans are very attractive to the BCS because of their high profile and command of a gigantic media market, which gives them an edge for any at-large bids. Sorry haters, fair or not…them’s the facts.

Nobel Prize Winner, George Olah: In 1994, Olah won the Nobel Prize for revolutionizing organic chemistry. 8 years later, Pete Carroll is producing unseemly amounts of talent and has the energy of a toddler with a PCP drip while only sleeping 47 minutes a night. Coincidence? I think not.

Rey Maualuga and his band of Merry Linebackers: Despite his legendary reputation, I was very critical of ol’ Rey through last season (albeit on a far less public forum, my blog) because his enthusiasm for manslaughter on the football field often left him out of position. He’d make spectacular plays, but simple ones would elude him. But, he finally seemed to find the proper balance at the end of last season. Which is bad news for every offense in the country… even his own, considering he’s hurt a few of his teammates in practice. When he’s joined by Brian Cushing, who was a dead ringer for Tim Riggins when he had long hair, and Kaluka Maiava (broke his thumb forcing a fumble by jamming it into the ball in the Rose Bowl) they form a very menacing trio.

Pete Carroll: You cannot list strengths for this football team without mention Pete himself. He is everything good about USC football. As an alum and hardcore fan, I will openly weep the day (God forbid) he ever decides to leave the Trojans.

Weaknesses

Special Teams: Despite a ridiculous stockpile of talent (including Ess-Ee-Cee approved speed), the coverage teams are susceptible to big returns and our kicker is a former linebacker. The reason? Unlike virtually every civilized program in the country, the Trojans do not have a special teams coach. Apparently they decided to use the coaching position for an Assistant Facebook Coach, which to be fair is more relevant in recruiting. Since special teams plays can swing momentum and decide close games, this could catch up to USC this year in one such contest.

Offensive line: After replacing four starters, the Trojans’ experience on the O- line has been well documented. But all I needed to know was expressed by a note from the first scrimmage provided by Scott Wolf: “lineman went the wrong way on two of the first three plays of the scrimmage.” Missing an assignment is one thing, but going in the wrong direction is quite another. Especially at the start of an intra-squad scrimmage, where the plays were probably scripted. These are the kind of mental mistakes that lead to the second string QB frantically putting on his helmet and sprinting into the huddle, while they bust out smelling salts for your starter who’s on a mental journey previously only believed to be possible with heavy doses of peyote.

Depth: General wisdom would trumpet depth as a great strength. Even for USC, this would be true for all non skill positions. But the glut of talented WR’s, RB’s and even QB’s has complicated this whole “offensive juggernaut” thing, which has been stuck in 4th gear since 2005 when Bush-Leinart-White departed. The Trojans don’t have a “go-to guy” within the dearth of playmakers. In their pursuit of the next chosen one, the coaching staff has shuffled so many players around that nobody has established a rhythm and gotten comfortable. I have a scientifically unfounded belief that this also contributes to a higher rate of injury, since guys are literally competing for the starting job each week in practice.

Rivals

After decades of college football excellence, the Trojans have managed to pile up more rivals across this great nation than the Warriors had in the boroughs of New York City. Hence the following Michael Corleone-esque, Godfather christening scene caliber hit list:

UCLA- When other Pac-10 schools mock your apathy, you’re nothing short of a laughingstock. Seriously, the rivalry isn’t fun when you have the school spirit of a 14 year old emo kid that cuts himself. Don’t worry, the morons in the dancing bear costumes will hold up a sign when it’s time for another lifeless “A-Clap”.

Notre Dame- This is all you need to know about the Charlie Weis era at Notre Dame: even Pete Carroll thinks he’s an asshole.

Big 10- What do Pac-10 schools call a mobile QB from the Big 10? A Defensive End.

Texas- Mack Brown’s coaching ability is directly correlated with the presence of Vince Young, or in this case lack thereof. And he sure as hell ain’t walkin’ through that door anytime soon. Enjoy the Colt McCoy era. The success of your team will be determined by a guy that sounds like a rejected cousin from the holdout-era “Dukes of Hazzard.”

SEC- Only a rival because they’ve eluded ‘SC in BCS bowls. Now that they’ve added a game to the schedule, I’m glad to see you’re finally playing quality opponents out of conference without having to compromise your relationship with Louisiana Monroe or the Citadel. At least this didn’t require something as drastic as Sam “Bam” Cunningham running roughshod over Bear’s Tide to bludgeon them into integration… in 1971.

Here's Carroll's salary broken down from the USC filing via All Things Trojan:

1. Pete Carroll - Head Football Coach

Compensation: $3,953,648
Contributions to Employee Benefit Plans: $84,566
Expense Account: $20,672
Excluded from compensation is $377,500 paid to a deferred compensation plan.
Total 2006-07 package: $4,436,386

Carroll was USC's highest paid employee. Head basketball coach Tim Floyd was second with a paltry $1.1 million salary. University President Steven Sample made a little less than $1 million. Even still most USC fans probably consider Carroll underpaid. Given the periodic talk about whether Carroll might leave for the NFL, a salary like this makes you wonder how many NFL teams could even afford Carroll. He's already making more than all but two or three.

USC's Top Paid Employees [All Things Trojan]

"Perhaps the reason it's been up and down here [Stanford] is that no one has stayed here 20 years," Harbaugh told CBS Sportsline. "... Charlie Weis is going to do that at Notre Dame. [Jim] Tressel at Ohio State. Pete's doing it. He's only got one more year, though. He'll be there one more year. That's what I've heard. I heard it inside the staff."

Carroll responded thusly:

"If he's going to make statements like that, he ought to get his information right," Carroll told the Times. "And if he has any questions about it he should call me."

Did anyone see an actual denial in there? Anyway, our initial thought is that Harbaugh should be more worried about getting through one year at Stanford than he is over Carroll's tenure at SC.

Harbaugh Says Carroll Leaving USC After Season [MSNBC]

The actual frontrunner seems to be former Packers boss Mike Sherman, if only because of the six early candidates officially named by the team, he is the only one who has an interview scheduled. Of course, by "six early candidates" the Cardinals could mean "six guys who did not shriek in terror like a schoolgirl when we contacted them." We can't be sure.

Let's face it, this is one tough gig. Owner Bill Bidwill tends to go into each season with no apparent exit strategy, picking head coaches similar to the way that Pedro Cerrano chooses bats. Jim Hanifan, Joe Bugel, Bud Wilkinson; it's a distinguished and storied list. But isn't it time that Bidwill comes to his senses and picks someone, um, good? New stadium, new attitude and all of that? Norm Chow would be a wise choice in our humble opinion.

And Los Angeles Times columnist Bill Plaschke on Tuesday was all over the Pete Carroll angle, positing scenarios such as a piece of team ownership as an incentive for him to leave USC. Wow. We can imagine a lot of things, but we just can't picture Carroll seeing this on the tarmac and agreeing to get on board. — RC

Thanks to Boi From Troy for the swell graphic, by the way.

Early Candidates For Cardinals' Job [Arizona Repubic]
Carroll Saves His Best Coaching Job For ... His Last USC Game? [Los Angeles Times]
It's The Arizona Cardinals Plane! Perfectly Safe! All Aboard, Everyone! [Deadspin]

So says "Goal Setting Guru," motivational speaker and all-around-Douchey-McDoucherson Sean Smith, who put out a press release yesterday saying Carroll doomed his team to failure by talking up UCLA so much pre-game.

"As soon as Coach Carroll told the media early in the week that UCLA was going to be their toughest opponent of the year," says Smith, "he made the game much more difficult for his players. The Trojans had all week long to focus on how good the Bruins are and how hard the game would be. So as Saturday's kickoff neared, the team had been sufficiently programmed for defeat."

"What I wish more people understood is that whatever you choose to focus on in any arena, whether it's success or failure, your unconscious mind takes it as a command, as if that's what you're looking for. So by telling yourself what you want to avoid, or by holding onto any negative, limiting thoughts whatsoever, you will always attract difficulty into your life."

As much as we love a good motivational speaker — Smith claims to be "a master at empowering his audiences to overachieve in all areas of their lives," which basically means he gets you shitbags to finally do something with your pathetic lives for through "Neuro-Linguistic Programming" — we have a feeling that Smith might be, oh, pulling random shards of nonsense from his anal canal. We nevertheless would like to see Smith get his hands on Eli Manning; "You must visualize victory through minimizing our Goal Setting Mistakes. Hey, Eli, wake up, would ya?"

USC Trojans Head Coach Programmed His Team To Lose [PR Web] (via Displaced Trojan)