Deadspin: phillies

David Wells Thinks The People Of Philadelphia Are A Bunch Of Meanie-Weenies

Weed Against Speed — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:00:11 EDT

Geez, I guess they'll let anyone write for the New York Post. David Wells, in a column I would describe as "portly," because, well, for no reason, shares some of his experiences interacting with the wonderful, friendly people from Philadelphia.

In the cleverly-titled column, "City of Brotherly Love? My butt!", Wells hits all the main points one desires to touch on when ripping on Philadelphia ("It's not Brotherly Love in that town - it's Brotherly Hate." - zing!), although to his credit, he managed to show some restraint and refrained from discussing how Philadelphians once booed and threw snowballs at Santa. He does not, however, quell any stereotypes regarding the typical Philly fan, so apparently, the Yankees - and any broadcaster, for that matter - better be ready for the onslaught.

Wells relays a story about how fans called Cal Ripken a homo when the TBS baseball studio crew were doing a broadcast from Citizens Bank Park during the playoffs.

When I was in Philadelphia earlier this postseason with Cal Ripken Jr., Dennis Eckersley and Ernie Johnson for TBS, we got booed. We were just doing our show out in center field and people were walking by saying "You fat piece of [bleep]. . . . Tell Cal he's gay. . . . Ernie Johnson sucks."

I'm like, "Who the hell are these people?" We've got no part of baseball.

We're doing the game and TBS stuff and these Phillies fans are just f-bombing us to death.

How dare they, right? Wells does maintain that there are "true good fans in Philly who are respectable and do the right thing," the bad apples "take away from the good fans they have there, because I think Philadelphia does have some good fans." Aw, that's nice. I'm sure the residents of Philadelphia who aren't mouth-breathing mongoloids appreciate his deference.

Overall, it isn't a bad column given that I didn't even know that David Wells knew how to read, let alone write. I'm thinking Pulitzer!

City of Brotherly Love? My butt! [New York Post]

Tough Week For Phillies Fans All Around

DAULERIO — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:02:38 EDT

First you have Marco Scutaro nabbing second after a walk as the Phillies infield snoozes, then you have two broads bashing each other in the stands at CBP because they're so distraught over it. [The Fightins]

Brett Myers is Full of Trickery

Christmas Ape — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:35:46 EST

When not occupied with domestic abuse or calling reporters retards, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers fancies himself quite the mischievous clubhouse presence. Here, he's gotten manager Charlie Manuel, some beat reporters and GM Ruben Amaro in on the act of fooling pitcher Kyle Kendrick into thinking he's been dealt to a Japanese team.

Bug & Cranks also has scans of the fake documents they took the time to draw up.

I like that Kendrick's first question is whether Japan has any decent food. Well, I don't know, it's not Philly, Kyle. Bad form on Myers' part with the "You got punked" stuff. So tired and never even half as funny as a good Dark Helmet "FFFFOOOOOOOOOLLLEEDD YOOOOOUUUUU!"