Pete was in Houston doing a radio interview, because that's where he and his as-yet-unnamed girlfriend met with a Playboy talent scout. But lest you think the young lass is nothing more than a pair of freakish fake breasts,

[M]y girl's a real educated girl - she graduated from Arizona State. She had a very prestigious job several years ago when she was a flight attendant for Korean Airlines, which is really a big deal in Korea, and she's Korean."

Pete also laid the sole blame for his ban on Bud Selig, but let's be honest. You only clicked on this post to make that photo bigger. You haven't read this far down.

Pete Rose Goes To Bat For His Lady! [Sports Radio Interviews]

Playboy U is looking for a student college basketball writer to cover the Final Four. Could it be you? (Sorry, no scantily clad models. Just a trip to Detroit).

If you write about sports for your college paper and think you have what it takes, submit examples of your best work to PlayboyU.com. If we select you as the best student sportswriter in the country, you'll get a plum assignment: a trip to the Final Four in Detroit and the opportunity to cover the weekend tournament for Playboy U. It’s one writing assignment you won’t get from your college professor.

Privileged access above and beyond that of my peers, with little or no expectation of results? Wow, I really will be like Rick Reilly!

Playboy Looking For The Next Great Sportswriter [USA Today]
Playboy's College Sportswriter Contest [Playboy]

As part of the ongoing whoredom of Men With Balls, I got a chance to sit down with Playboy editor Rocky Rakovic, whose magazine I’ve had the pleasure of stealing on many, many occasions. But Rocky also wanted to ask a question of you Deadspin commenter folks. He’ll peruse your comments in this post and pluck out the best answers for publication in the magazine. So your grandpa can read it during spank breaks! Anyway, here’s the question:

In these tough economic times, what advice do you have for pro athletes?

Remember, only the best comments get published. So maybe now would be a good time to put away the retarded Martin Lawrence jokes.

“There weren’t any girls from the Big Ten who were hot enough to be on the cover, so they had to pull someone from the SEC."

Carrington/Hemberger is currently lounging in LA, doing the Bunny House-thing, playing with monkeys and posing with other hefty-chested blond floozies in Hef's castle. This is an important time in Carrington's career, and depending on how the tit-showing works out for her, she may have to relocate to the West Coast permanently and transfer to USC. They have a much more challenging public relations program out there.

UF Student makes Playboy Cover [Gainesville Sun]

The University of Florida wouldn't nominate Tebow for the Playboy All-American team because of his religious views. After UF turned in their initial nominations, Playboy actually telephoned to lobby for Tebow's inclusion. Florida stuck to their guns and Tim Tebow continued to be better than you or me. Unfortunately Playboy Vice-President Gary Cole dispels a ton of rumors about the photo shoot.

"I don't hate it when someone has all the facts, understands what our weekend and our history is and then chooses not to attend," Cole told Florida Today. "I do hate it when someone bases their choice on false or incomplete information.. .. The weekend (in Phoenix) is completely wholesome. I have always brought my children whether they were one or 16 years old. It's a really special few days when these fellows get the opportunity to meet each other and spend a little time together. Friendships are formed at these weekends that last a lifetime."

The parting shot? West Virginia quarterback Pat White was Playboy's choice from very early on. Tebow will have to make do with Erin Andrews. Seriously though, at some point in his life Tim Tebow did something bad, right?

Tim Tebow in Playboy? Not happening [Florida Today]

Greetings. It's week two of the great Cultural Oddsmaker countdown, and this will once again not attempt in any way shape or form hold up a mirror to professional sports culture. This is simply a venue for me to expose my id in three-dimensional high-def for all the world to see. And, of course, showcase my favorite emails. This week's selection comes courtesy of the CO spelling bee column, which resulted in a couple spirited missives like this:

Richa Gupta getrich87@xxxx.net wrote:

You're a jackass who's just jealous that these kids are about 1000 times as smart as you are. Your descriptions are unwarranted and your attempt at mockery is just sick. Find another outlet to express your excessive loathing for thirteen year old kids, and get a fucking life.

Guptas. So sensitive.

Anyway, this week's Oddsmaker will focus on Playboy magazine's "Playmate of the Year" coronation. If you haven't heard, the magazine is currently in the middle of its selection process to crown this year's Bunny queen. This is somewhat sports-related because, as we all know, professional athletes have a tendency to end up in relationships with these bouncy bundles of dim-witted fun. In addition to the odds on their POY-dom, I'll also include which athlete their destined to end up with, and, for added color and depth, the odds on their favorite sexual position.

So, this week, I'm injecting my urethra with Deca-Durabolin, learning how to skin a rabbit (It is what it is — bunny-lovers beware), and calculating odds on the 2007 Playmate of the Year.

Pictures of almost naked young ladies, after this brief commercial break:

....

VAMANOS!

Heather Rene Smith, Miss February: 2/1

She's 20-years-old, California-cooked, and enjoys "going to see live bands" and "working on old cars." Oh, and "wake boarding," which I believe is what the CIA insists was very instrumental in winning the war on terror. When she says "working on old cars," we'll assume that means "leaning over a balance beam and almost doing a split without her tits falling out." Now, that's talent! She's into tattoos and guys who know how to play a musical instrument. Wizard-sleeved bassoonists, your princess has arrived.

Athletes she may possibly bang: Wayman Tisdale, Bronson Arroyo

Favorite sexual position: The Alfonseca: Heather can only orgasm when a man enters six digits or more inside her and tickles her her g-spot.

Brittany Binger, Miss June: 3/1

She's not blond, so she'll have a tough time generating support from the old fella, plus she's 5'7, 109lbs, which means she's about one missed meal away from being just a giant head and a pointy clavicle. Brittany's favorite singer is Snoop Dogg and her hobbies include "going to the beach." She's turned off by cockiness and womanizers, but she gets revved-up by men who are "mysterious." So, wear a Zorro mask, boys.

Athletes she may possibly bang: Manny Ramirez, Gilbert Arenas

Favorite sexual position: The Bo Diaz: Brittany climaxes the hardest when she's being banged on a Venezuelan rooftop with a satellite dish laying on top of her.

Shannon James, Miss May: 1/4

Shannon's a Council Rock graduate (We are! CR!) and still lives just outside the Philly area prepping for a life of either modeling, writing poetry or being a pharmaceutical sales rep. (What else is there really?) She's prime-time POY material thanks to her blonder than blondestness and willingness to admit she's "comfortable with her sexuality" and that she and her friends like to "walk around naked." Hooray. Plus! Her favorite team is the Philadelphia Phillies.

Athletes she may possibly bang: Jayson Werth, Mike Zagurski, The Sarge

Favorite sexual position: The Schmitter: Shannon likes to have anal sex using a "secret sauce" lubricant with a man who has a piece of fried salami wrapped around his dick.

Spencer Scott: 1/1

This Georgia gal is only 18 years old and says she's looking for a man who'll be "spontaneous" with her — no beach or fancy dinners, something, like, you know, like, a "theme park." Well, the gal likes roller coasters and also won't tolerate a guy who can't "make her laugh." So, no Mr. Fuddy-Duddys for her, no way. There's a reason God gave her so much brain power. Unfortunately, most of it is in her left breast.

Athletes she may possibly bang: Chipper Jones, Jeff Francoeur, The Georgia Bulldogs football team, an actual Georgia bulldog

Favorite sexual position: The Coolbaugh: Like she said, Spencer's a fan of spontaneity and loves it when a guy will sneak up behind her, take out one ball, whack her in the side of the head with it, and then do her while she's sprawled out in the grass in front of a stadium full of people.

Their sex life really slumped, however, when Bonds started taking steroids, driven by jealousy after Mark McGwire began receiving piles of press for his pursuit of Roger Maris' single-season home run record. Bell told Playboy that Bonds suffered from sexual dysfunction, one side effect of steroid use. He tried Viagra several times but didn't like it because it affected his vision and stuffed up his nose.

His body had grown thicker, his back was pocked with acne, his hair had fallen out and his testicles had shriveled when Bonds asked his former mistress if she thought anyone would suspect he was on the juice. "Do I look bloated?" Bonds wanted to know. "Does it look funny? Do you think this is obvious?"

Bell also recounts that when Bonds first began taking steroids, his personality changed, and that she thought that his fits of rage were because he "had PMS, like a woman." Woooeee. And you thought you were embarrassed when your ex-girlfriend outed your love of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on her Facebook page.

Barry Bonds' Ex-Mistress Details Star's Steroid Use, Temper [NY Daily News]