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New York, 12:15 AM
Sun Nov 8
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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    The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephon Marbury

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jay Mariotti

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephen A. Smith

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Crossing Pattern Dong

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Alex Rodriguez

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Lenny Dykstra

    Deadspin HOF Nominee: Charles Barkley

    Michael Vick Is the Most Hated Person in Sports
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Artie Fufkin Artie Fufkin
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    It doesn't look like my story, #1, will win. But the joke is on you voters, I can't read! #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Artie Fufkin was starred Artie Fufkin was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    [Redacted] had downed what was being reported as "close to a handle of gin" by noon or so.

    We can only assume he drank it warm, with a human hair floating in it.
     Reply
    Edited by ScientificMapp at 11/03/09 1:10 PM ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Tracy Ham and Eggs Tracy Ham and Eggs
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    If the prize pack isnt a swift kick in the nuts and a trip to rehab then Im not voting #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Tracy Ham and Eggs was starred Tracy Ham and Eggs was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    I once tailgated at a tailgate-sitting tournament. What reigned was confusion. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Pedro Cuatro Cinco Pedro Cuatro Cinco
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    I was going to vote for Vest, but then a funny thing happened. My buddies came over and told me to take a shot of their "special" Jagermeister. I was like: guys, I gotta vote for Vest. They said "What are you, a pussy?" Not wanting to be called a pussy (because there might have been ladies present, but I don't know, because even though it was 10 a.m. I was still wasted), I did the shot. It was by far the most vile thing I have ever tasted. There was Jager in there somewhere, but plenty else. They started laughing hysterically. "Dude, you just drank pee!" they said. I could feel my stomach turn. I said come on, there's no way. They said yep -- they were trying to mix vodka and Jager and they were doing it in a big trough when they turned to see some hot girls walking by. They started to make conversation and, amazingly, got shot down. When they turned back around, their buddy Bear was peeing, but he was so drunk half of it was going into the trough. They told him to stop, but the damage had been done. For some reason, they thought that I should be the one to take the shot that would spill "the secret" — instead it just spilled my stomach, as I puked out everything, instantly, all over them. They still thought it was funny, but then I was like: "Guys, that's no way to behave at work."

    Then I voted for Vest.
     Reply
    Edited by Pedro Cuatro Cinco at 11/03/09 12:46 PM Pedro Cuatro Cinco was starred Pedro Cuatro Cinco was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    11/03/09

    @Pedro Cuatro Cinco: Yeah, that sounds about right. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    I vote for number [redacted] because after all, [redacted]? #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of ArkansasFred ArkansasFred
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    Even if you win you're still a loser. Just like in a child beauty pageant. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    ArkansasFred was starred ArkansasFred was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/03/09

    @ArkansasFred: Or a spelling bee. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    11/03/09

    @ArkansasFred: Or the NL West. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/03/09

    @Steve U: Or the Oscar category "Best Animated Short." #finalfailgate
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/03/09

    @ArkansasFred:

    just like life, because we all die. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of Barb-A-Rod Barb-A-Rod
    11/03/09

    @ArkansasFred: Or a starred Deadspin commenter? #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Steve U promoted this comment FAILBOT approved this comment Barb-A-Rod was starred Barb-A-Rod was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    11/03/09

    @Barb-A-Rod: Touche #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    or just start pressing buttons in the section below

    Also fun to do in an elevator full of busy executives in a tall office building. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    11/03/09

    @MarkKelsosMigraine: It is fun but also the reason why I'll never be allowed back on that tour of the Vermont Yankee Power Plant. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/03/09

    @David Hume: You bastard! You're the reason the Bennington "Kegs and Eggs" had to be canceled!
     Reply
    Edited by MarkKelsosMigraine at 11/03/09 12:54 PM MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    11/03/09

    In reply to The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
    Let's just hope the winner receives the same prize as successful contestants on The Running Man. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of MattinglysSideburns MattinglysSideburns
    11/03/09

    @Steve U: I was thinking Shirley Jackson's The Lottery. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    MattinglysSideburns was starred MattinglysSideburns was unstarred
    Image of Artie Fufkin Artie Fufkin
    11/03/09

    @Steve U: Here's Artie Fufkin, now plain Fufkin. #finalfailgate
     Reply
    Artie Fufkin was starred Artie Fufkin was unstarred
    Image of Island of Misfit Toys Island of Misfit Toys
    08/09/09

    In reply to Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
    Do you believe in miracles?
     Reply
    Island of Misfit Toys promoted this comment Edited by Island of Misfit Toys at 08/09/09 10:01 PM Island of Misfit Toys was starred Island of Misfit Toys was unstarred
    Image of Brazil Thrill Brazil Thrill
    08/09/09

    In reply to Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
    Barbaro, you are a dead horse. You cannot accept an award. It will not be given to you. Nevertheless, you just made my day by being enshrined into the DHOF. It's been long overdue, you Beautiful, Big Precious Baby Boy. Affirmed. My Sentimental Friends. My Love, Brazil Thrill.
     Reply
    Brazil Thrill was starred Brazil Thrill was unstarred
    Image of Dieter Dieter
    08/09/09

    In reply to Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
    This makes me far happier than it should. Affirmed.
     Reply
    Chuck Knoblockhead promoted this comment Dieter was starred Dieter was unstarred
    Image of Fawn Liebowitz Fawn Liebowitz
    08/09/09

    In reply to Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
    Unless he fathered one of Jacko's kids (Blanket, perhaps?) he's yesterday's news. No, no, a furlong's length No!

    (apparently there's something to Costanza logic--he's in as of 6:20p EDT)
     Reply
    Edited by Fawn Liebowitz at 08/09/09 6:21 PM Fawn Liebowitz was starred Fawn Liebowitz was unstarred
    Image of Sir Hotbod Handsomeface Sir Hotbod Handsomeface
    08/10/09

    @Fawn Liebowitz: Because halls of fame are known for only honoring current events/athletes...
     Reply
    Sir Hotbod Handsomeface was starred Sir Hotbod Handsomeface was unstarred
    Image of Island of Misfit Toys Island of Misfit Toys
    08/07/09

    In reply to Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
    76%!!!!!!!!! Shut down the internet for the rest of the weekend!
     Reply
    Island of Misfit Toys was starred Island of Misfit Toys was unstarred
    Image of Senators Lost Cojones Senators Lost Cojones
    08/07/09

    In reply to Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
    Yes...clear cookies...Yes...clear cookies...Yes... Oh, hey! How are ya? See you on Monday! ...clear cookies...Yes...clear cookies...
     Reply
    Senators Lost Cojones was starred Senators Lost Cojones was unstarred
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