Raul Quintana owned a number of condos on exclusive Fisher Island, just off of Miami Beach. One day last year, he rented out one of the units to a "representative from a modeling agency" that wanted to hold a "photo shoot." You can imagine where this went.

Yes, the "photo shoot" turned out to be the filming of "A Sexy Golfing Experience," on the high-class site "Ass Parade." We'll let the Miami New Times pick it up from here.

The film is no innovation in cinema. In it, Tony, a ratty-looking dude with a thin beard and designer shades, commandeers a golf cart - clearly displaying Quintana's apartment number - to rendezvous with Devon on a Fisher Island golf green. After the dirty-blond porn starlet does some butt-focused putting, the lovers drive to Quintana's condo on a golf cart with a pudgy, bearded dolly grip riding on the rear.

Once in the apartment, they head to the balcony, where, in broad daylight and full view of any neighbor who might glance out a window, Tony applies baby oil to Devon's buttocks for five minutes. They then go inside and run through the usual battery of positions, with only a thin white towel separating their carnal intermingling from Quintana's brown suede couch and matching chaise lounge. Other scenes involve possible staining of one of the homeowner's throw pillows and his carpet. The 40-minute film is viewable for a buck at Bangbros.com, where online connoisseurs gave it a rating of 8.1 out of a possible 10.

Word got around, as it usually does with these things. Quintana lost guest privileges for his condos, was relegated to an inferior boarding position on the island's ferry, and eventually was banned from the Fisher Island Club altogether. (These are very bad things in the world of the rich.)

Quintana is suing Bangbros.com, saying they "really banged my life." (That's an actual quote.) But, you know, there seems to be an uptick in the market for golf-themed pornos these days. So maybe it's not all bad.

Golf Porn On Ritzy Fisher Island [Miami New Times]

Sienna West is an adult actress, and like all sex workers these days, she updates the world on her, um interactions. (A Tweet the previous day ended with "G/g gang bang.") So when she had an appointment to meet Stojakovic for...something, she just had to film herself on the way.

(Note: I am definitely not the "Barry" she is speaking to in the video. The one who tells her he hopes Peja tips her.)

I have no idea if she actually met him. I have no idea what they did together, if they did indeed meet. I do know, however, what she wrote afterwards:

Sienna West [Twitter]
Professional Jump Off Makes Video Of Her Going To Meet Up With Married NBA Star...Then Puts It Up Online(Slightly NSFW) [Media Take Out]
Peja Stojakovic Gets Caught Hiring Escort Service Porn Star [Terez Owens]

We've got to give credit to Herm's Perm for doing the legwork (and possibly some handwork) on this story. Because they went to high school with Mejia, they wanted to track his college football career.

Initially committed to Northern Illinois, he transferred to FCS Missouri State and then Kansas State. But when he didn't show up on the Wildcats rosters, a helpful tipster sent them a link to a website. An adults-only website. Where someone bearing a striking resemblance to Mejia plays a starring role.

I won't give the link, but here's the description of this specific escapade:

A couple of beers and a game of spin the bottle leads to hot girl-on-girl action and the whole room fucking like champs...one dude even eats a slice of pizza while getting head!

Damn. Well, K State has confirmed that Mejia's no longer with the team, and his Facebook status (before he set it to private) read:

fuck all the haters, you're only young once, live with no regrets, i got paid 1500 and a free trip to miami so fuck you guys HAHAHAHAHA."

So who knows? I can't say with certainty if this is really him, but I'm in no danger of ruining his life by reporting this. If anything, I'm running the risk of making him the most awesome guy on campus.

Real Life Hung Story Ready for the HBO Rewrite [Herm's Perm]

As pointed out, it's actually Planet of the Apes. But are you telling me that if you somehow found yourself aboard Air Force One, it wouldn't cross your mind just once to pop in a stag movie? Maybe mine wouldn't be as much of a sausage party as the pre-All-Star Game entertainment on display in the photo, but, hey, we're not judgmental here.

What Gay Porno Are They Watching On Air Force One? [Wonkette]

An insomniac Deadspin reader was flipping through the channels in his south Texas abode early Saturday morning (or late Friday night, if you prefer) when this not-unpleasing-to-the-eye image gave him pause. Thankfully, for the good of humanity, he had a camera handy. Either Time Warner Cable is having trouble keeping the porn out of their non-porn feeds or an ESPNU employee was making a strong statement about Duke basketball.

Interestingly, the same thing happened last Sunday in Waco, where Time Warner Cable customers watching a PBS telethon were surprised by a 5-second switch from PBS to pubis. It was probably the most action those viewers had gotten in years. Between that and the infamous Super Bowl Porn incident earlier this year, we're looking at a possible porno pandemic. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

There have been a slew of athlete impersonation stories, from the recently sentenced Joba Chamberlain impersonator, to the cross-dressing guy claiming to be John Maine who stalked women at nightclubs, and it appears Phillips may be a victim of a similar crime. This story first became public — if you can call a news item on Demi Delia's personal blog "public" — January 26th, when Delia (actual name, Gina Rodriguez ) posted this official-sounding story with the title, "Former New York Yankee/Current Pittsburgh Pirate - Andy Phillips Accused Of Allegedly Impersonating Former Yankee Carl Pavano, the Phillies' Greg Dobbs, And Alleged Agent Jordan Kapler ." In that story, Delia said she and Phillips were engaged in some sort of romantic encounter that began over email. Oh, and Carl Pavano's involved somehow. Oh, and this whole thing was set up by the Phillies' Gregg Dobbs, and a cast of other characters also became enmeshed. Feeling duped, Delia's conclusion was that all of these individuals she was corresponding with were actually being impersonated by Andy Phillips. These interactions did lead to a face-to-face between Delia and the person claiming to be Phillips and Delia on Dec. 29th, at Hotel 57 in Manhattan. Yeah, they spent the night together, but after that, in Delia's mind, things got a little weird and now she's looking for justice. She says in her story, "I am bringing these charges in an effort to expose Mr. Phillips, but also to alert these people, Mr. Pavano, and Mr. Dobbs, that this man is fraudulently representing them in a bold and lawless manner. It's important that he be stopped."

Got it?

On January 3rd, Delia and her friend Elizabeth Coleman, filed a police report with the West Valley LAPD Detectives, which she faxed over to me. The charges weren't clearly defined, but it did state that Andy Phillips was impersonating other random major league players, a sports agent, and professional wrestler John Cena, and was becoming creepy. When I spoke to Delia on the phone, she was thoroughly convinced the "Andy Phillips" that was bothering her and her friend was the actual Andy Phillips, who now is fighting for a roster spot with the Pirates. She didn't sound delusional, insane, or vindictive. She actually seemed quite rational for a porn star. Nevertheless, her story about their tawdry romance and subsequent harassment seemed completely implausible, considering a few writers who've interacted with Andy say it's not likely he'd be involved in this sort of porntaculous fling.

"I think he was one of the nicest players I'd ever met," said one New York Daily News writer. "And I thought he was pretty heavily involved in the church..."

But, hey, Andy Phillips might have been touched by the same porno-lusting devil that's taken plenty of Jesus-lovers down. It happens.

Here's an interview with Phillips from 2007, after he was called back up to the Yankees, which gives a pretty good glimpse into the man it appears most people, except Demi Delia, think he is.

Delia, forwarded along one of the emails "Andy Phillips" sent her during their correspondence, which she later submitted to the police for evidence. Here's one:

Oh my. That's positively filthy. Oh, you find it hard to believe that any real major league player would use the email address name "Andy1BPhillips", too? Unfortunately, Demi Delia did. Actually, one of the other emails from "Carl Pavano" had a similar address: CarlPitchPavano@yahoo.com.

Nevertheless, Delia is adamant the man she met, presumably spent the night with, was Andy Phillips. This is what she stated in email after I showed some skepticism about it:

He told me and [redacted] he had a home in New Jersey, Miami, Orange County and Alabama. He came to my hotel, I was staying at Hotel 57. He was in the room from like 1030pm to 130am and then he left the room to get us Orange Juice and Snacks because I was sick. Me and [redacted] waited in the room and when he came back 20 minutes later he had 2 complimentary breakfast vouchers that he said the guy at the front desk gave him because he recognized him.Then when he came back he stayed with me until 730am. I wasnt drinking or anything. it was him for sure. My girlfriend [redacted] is a sports fan and she and him were talking about baseball. She even said it was him for sure. She saw all the pics too. These werent like photos of him standing with a player posing for a pic. they were personal photos of them hanging out. Also pics of his wife in there home. Pics of his daughter.

And...

"he had also made a phonecall to a guy who he said was Peter Warrick, because [redacted] went to FSU and she was telling Andy that and he said my good friend went there and then he called him and put him on speaker phone. [Redacted] spoke to him too but they had went there different years. He called him at like midnight.
He also called someone named Kelly who he said books all his rooms, because he was trying to get me into Four Seasons that night. "

She gave me the phone number with a Jersey-based 908 area code (one of the many he gave her, she claims) of "Andy Phillips." I called and left a message and waited. A few minutes later, I received a text message back:

ALLEGED ANDY PHILLIPS: "Who is this?"

ME: My name is A.J. Daulerio. I am a reporter with deadspin.com. I was looking for Andy Phillips about a story we're working on. This was the number I was given to contact him. Sorry if I am wrong.

ALLEGED ANDY PHILLIPS: "Who? you have wrong number."

Shocker. Anyway, I contacted Phillips' agent, Rex Gary, and asked him if he was even aware of the allegations. He was not I showed him the link to her site with the story and some of her other allegations. He was pissed.

Gary claims that Delia's story is "absurd" and that Andy Phillips wasn't even in Manhattan on Dec.29th. According to Gary, Phillips spent most of the holidays visiting churches with his wife and children. But the story did concern him enough that he turned it over to the Department of Investigations of Major League Baseball, which is staffed by former police officers. Sure enough, soon after Gary told me that, I get a phone call from Victor Burgos, from the MLB Department Of Investigations. I told him what I knew, I gave him Demi Delia's contact information and Burgos offered to keep me updated on the investigation. He also said that he hoped we could work together in the future, because a lot of the "complaints he gets from players are about the stuff that appears on blogs." Yeah. Great.

According to Pat Courtney, VP of MLB public relations, the Phillips case is still ongoing. But given the evidence available here and elsewhere, it appears more and more likely that poor Demi Delia actually spent the night with an Andy Phillips impostor.

The only thing left to answer about this case, for now, is what kind of wacko attempts to seduce porn stars by posing as a career .248 utility player?

So be on the lookout, ladies: That charming professional baseball player, who woos you with seductive emails about places he'd like to ram his cock, may not be the man he claims to be.

Kingsley is the girl featured in the 30-second porn clip that surprised 80,000 Comcast customers in the Tucson area during the Super Bowl on Sunday. The stealth porn attack turned out, in effect, to be the game's most effective Super Bowl ad; and it didn't cost her employer, Jenna Jameson's Jenna Club, a thing. Now Kingsley is basking in the glory — not unlike Santonio Holmes, only sans Mickey Mouse — and can hardly keep up with interview requests. Here's an excerpt of one she did today with Intentional Foul.

IF: What are your thoughts on your new found fame?

TK: Initially, I was shocked when I found out, then very excited. Realizing thousands of people got to see me makes me happy. The increased recognition is also a bonus, as is the publicity, which should lead to more work.

IF: Are there plans to capitalize off of Sunday’s mishap?

TK: We’ve discussed making a spoof movie of the Super Bowl.

Here's a short excerpt of an interview she did last year (link NSFW), which I find more interesting, and much funnier.

RAY: Where are you from?

TRISTAN: I’m from northern California. The bay area, San Jose.

RAY: Why did you move to L.A?

TRISTAN: For porn. And a change of pace.

Hey, same as Baron Davis.

Super Bowl Porn: Tristan Kingsley Speaks [Intentional Foul]

The statement from Comcast:

"We can't undo what happened, but we remain deeply sorry for the impact this situation has had on our customers," Comcast Tucson corporate affairs manager Kelle Maslyn said in a statement Monday. "To that end, we will be issuing a $10 credit to any Comcast video customer in Tucson who was impacted. While this credit won't change what happened, we hope that it will demonstrate to our customers, and to the Tucson community, how seriously we are taking this situation."

Maslyn said Comcast is "continuing with our investigation into what we believe may have been an isolated, malicious act, and will aggressively pursue all leads until we come to resolution." Comcast customers in the Tucson area seeking the credit were directed to call (888) 315-8219.

Interesting take on this by Valleywag, by the way, which says that people shouldn't be surprised by any of this. After all, Comcast is one of the nation's leading purveyors of porn. Although I can't agree with their assertion that people are "pretending to be outraged." The outrage is real enough, it seems.

My favorite comment today so far:

Comcast will fix this issue between the hours of 8am-5pm. Please stay home and wait... — John7294

Meanwhile, for you computer geeks tech enthusiasts, here's a more involved explanation of what happened:

The feeds provided by local broadcasters, like KVOA-TV in Tucson, are basically on autopilot when they’re handed off to the cable company. The only conceivable modification a cable provider might make to a broadcaster’s signal would be to “downconvert” an HD signal into lower-definition format for 4:3 standard-def distribution. This is happening or has happened in many markets where the broadcaster is going all-HD in preparation for the still-uncertain digital TV transition. (For cable networks, by contrast, a local cable system might insert its own ads into the video stream at predefined points.)

Also note that the porn that showed up on KVOA was from Playboy’s Shorteez, a pay-per-view channel that normally requires a digital set-top user to initiate and confirm the order (since it’s added to a customer’s bill).

Or in other words, prevailing wisdom right now is that someone intentionally broke in on Larry Fitzgerald's touchdown celebration with a giant peen. Cardinus Interruptus. But who? And will he ever be caught? Or just maybe we should be searching for a she. It is well known that Jenna Jameson is hungry for Super Bowl-related publicity; she tried and failed to participate in last season's Lingerie Bowl (she was denied a roster spot because she couldn't get insurance to play football). Perhaps this was her terrible retribution.

Super Porn Gaffe: No Accidental Fumble [Multichannel News]
Comcast 'Has Some Leads' In Super Bowl Porn Incident [Tucson Citizen]
Comcast Offers $10 Credit After Super Bowl Porn Blunder [Multichannel News]

To which I say, what took you so long, California porn industry? (Warning: We not only caution that any links here may be NSFW, but we would recommend spraying down your computer with Lysol).

No word on the offer yet by Shiancoe, the Viking was seen towel-less during post-game Fox TV coverage of their game with the Lions on Sunday. The ensuing media storm soon drew attention from Black Ice, an adult entertainment studio.

"From what we’ve seen, there is definitely a career for Visanthe in the adult industry, if he’d like one,” said Black Ice general manager Tony Santoro. “We would welcome an opportunity to align ourselves with a world-class athlete of Viante’s stature."

Black Ice publicist Scott Stein said the company is unaware of any morals clause in Shiancoe's contract that would prevent him from accepting a contract with the makers of Bubble Butt Barbecue 2.

Warning to Mr. Shiancoe: Read the script before signing anything. I saw the first Bubble Butt Barbecue and it failed to live up to the hype. The writing was weak and I was never interested, although the part of the chef was played with gusto by Shorty Mac, and there was a delightful cameo role by Neil Rackers.

Black Ice Courts NFL Player In PR Stunt [AVN]

Ostensibly there to promote his assuredly brilliant appearance opposite Flavor Flav in a sitcom, Owens talked about a new project he had coming up.

Media Blitz: Let's jump right in. This is awesome news. Terrell Owens and Flavor Flav. You have to admit, that's a wacky combo, no?

Owens: Well, you never know. That's not going to be the [last] of wacky combos you're going to hear of. And that's an FYI, hint-hint, so to speak. But Flavor Flav, he produced his own show, "Under One Roof" ...

Hold on, what's this "FYI, hint-hint" business?

(Laughs) It's a little business venture that I've got going on that's going to shock a lot of people.
And? What is it?
Naw, can't say right now. It's something that's in the works.

Is T.O. investing in BangBros porn films? It's quite the leap, sure, but we guess a lot of people would be shocked by that. But not us: We just hope Romo is a co-investor.

Ten Fun Minutes With Terrell Owens [ESPN]
Terrell Owens Confirms His Next Project [Fire Everybody]

Italy's Serie A team Fiorentina recently put up the rights to broadcast some of their games up for open bidding. And a porn station won.

A milestone was reached last week in Italy when ContoTV, a hardcore porn channel, outbid other broadcasters to secure the rights to show Fiorentina's UEFA Cup first-round tie against Groningen on September 20. Just a publicity stunt? Probably, although ContoTV executives describe it as an attempt to offer their viewers "something different."

You're listening, MLS, right? Right?

Another Reason To Pay For Porn Channels [Shakedown Sports]

X-rated businesses might find a home in the swamps of Jersey.

This Bergen County town introduced an ordinance that would create an adult entertainment zone for strip clubs, massage parlors, porn stores and tattoo shops across from the Meadowlands Sports Complex.

Mayor James Cassella told The Record of Bergen County the ordinance is needed to prevent adult businesses from opening near schools and homes.

They can give whatever reasons they want, but the intent here is clear: to make the Nets, Devils, Giants, and Jets more popular destinations for potential free agents. They can't do anything to make the weather nicer, but the proximity to titties? They can fix that one.

Porn shops to open near Meadowlands? [Sun Sentinel]

Nevertheless: We kind of couldn't let this one go. In a column written in tribute to late Cleveland-area broadcaster Casey Coleman, Cleveland Plain-Dealer Akron Beacon-Journal columnist Terry Pluto — an eight-time winner of the Ohio Sportswriter Of The Year award — talks about how his and Coleman's shared faith helped them overcome their respective addictions. Coleman once had a drinking problem. Pluto had different issues.

Casey was convinced God delivered him from alcoholism. I believe the same about what God did to take pornography out of my life. We talked about how we couldn't deny what we did and who we were, but we didn't have to stay stuck in the past.

We really talked about things that mattered: about how we were both blessed to have tremendous wives; about how we could not afford to slip up; about how we were one drink or one click of a computer mouse from losing all God gave us.

We mean not to mock Pluto's faith; faith is a personal matter and not something we feel is worthy of ridicule. (Quite the opposite, actually.) We just, uh ... well, we guess we just maybe don't need quite this much information from our sports columnists.

He's right about the click of a mouse, though. (Link NSFW, obviously.)

Casey Coleman's Life Reached Beyond Sports [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Addiction to internet pornography is a growing problem among cash-rich Premiership players with time on their hands according to Peter Kay, the chief executive of the Sporting Chance clinic.

First of all, isn't internet pornography addiction sort of 2004? Are they going to keep running this story until they manage to get through every profession? Also, if they're doing it the right way, that's not "time" on their hands.

The article goes on to quote an anonymous Premiership player about the epidemic.

'On porn websites you have got advertisements for the porn and you end up spending more money on there. It's kind of like kids in a sweet shop. We finish at lunchtimes with our jobs and you can sit there for hours on end.'

See, that's the difference between professional athletes and the rest of us. I'm good for about three minutes, tops.

'Internet porn a growing problem for players' [ESPN]