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more about #mlb more comments → dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Way to ruin the unveiling of my new euphemism for fake tits, Dash. more » UpstateUnderdog: I can't put my calculator away, I'm wearing it on my wrist. more » Brazil Thrill: "This is completely unfair! The commissioner didn't even give us a chance to buy the MVP!" -- Hank Steinbrenner more » Weed Against Speed: Fine, I will surrender my calculator, but you'll have to pry this abacus out of my cold, dead hands, good sir. more » Chris Hanson's Axe: But Miguel Cabrera had the highest BLEERP in the AL!! Are you kidding me?? more » Sh!tShow: Dammit. Now we'll never get FJM back. more » Phintastic: Indigenous nerds in Australia are still instructed to stay away from white people. more » Stev D: But I am so close to proving the existance of Nefi Perez. more » ClintonPortishead: Put Away Your Calculators Calcu-what-now? -Murray Chass more » MarkKelsosMigraine: Put away your calculator? How the hell am I supposed to inappropriately spell "BOOBS" during second period? /32 years old more » P. Escobar, Jets Fan: Indigent nerds, however, may form a queue to apply for a stat research job at ESPN. Base salary is only 25K, but Bristol does have lovely foliage and ... more » Stev D: Hey, it's that guy who hung out with everyone's Dad in high school but died in a car accident the summer after graduation. more » norbizness: Michelle Shocked LOOKS LIKE CRAP more » Hatey McLife: countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes Just be happy Scott Kazmir didn't win, he's a traveler of both time and space. more » Pedro Cuatrocinco: At least we know he'll keep things calm in the Green Room. more » -
#mlb
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR] -
#mlb
Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate] -
#mlb
Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com] -
#mlb
Shocker: AL's Best Pitcher Wins AL Cy Young
It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA] -
#mlb
John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT] -
#mlb
The Hit King Is Hitting That
Think Pete Rose spends every day broken up about not being in the Hall of Fame? Looks like he's got other thingsbyon his brain. More » -
#mlb
You Can't Drag Baseball Into The 21st Century
Like many others, I assumed that Major League Baseball would have no choice but to cave in and expand the use instant replay this offseason, but I underestimated the league's commitment to completely ignoring public opinion at all times. More » -
#mlb
This Is Exactly What It Looks Like
U.S. Marshals will be auctioning off Bernie Madoff's customized Mets jacket. So you can doubly pretend to make tons of money but fail in the end anyway. [Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers] -
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#mlb
Baseball's Free Agency System Is Seriously, Seriously Screwed Up
It's hot stove season, and the annual release of Elias' free agent rankings is upon us. It speaks to the volume of the CBA's absurdities that we rarely appreciate just how awful this system is.
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#mlb
Upon Further Review, Baseball Is Stupid
Baseball won't be expanding instant replay anytime soon, because baseball doesn't want its outcomes to be an accurate reflection of what transpires on the field so much as an expression of the yearnings in Tim McClelland's heart. More » -
#mlb
A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000. More » -
#mlb
Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin
Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful! More » -
#mlb
Metrodome Memories Are A Little Pathetic
Since the Twins have a fancy new field, it was time to get rid of all the leftover stuff at the Metrodome. A phrase comes to mind: "And nothing of value was lost." More » -
#mlb
Nick Swisher Is A 12-Year-Old Fangirl
As the Yankees cleaned out their lockers, "Nick Swisher's teammate photo collage, snipped from Yankees gameday programs and newspaper back pages, remained affixed to his locker." [MLB.com] -
#mlb
Yankees Contribute To Corporate Malfeasance
The half-ton of recycled paper delivered to businesses in lower Manhattan wasn't enough, as some offices started chucking out sensitive financial documents. If the Yankees could have won last year, there would have been no need for a bailout. [WNYW] -
#mlb
Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again? More » -
#mlb
'Hooray For Mannywood, That Screwy Ballyhooey Mannywood'
Dodgers fans must feel like they have just come off a cycle and are taking hCG as it was announced that Manny Ramirez will not exercise the escape clause in his contract and will remain a Dodger. [Los Angeles Times] -
#mlb
I Hope No One In Philadelphia Needed To Find Anything On The Internet Today
Bing is apparently giving up on that elusive non-New York market, transforming their front page into a tribute to the Yankees. Well, they do say that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Microsoft. [Via The Sports Hernia] -
#mlb
Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian] -
#duan
The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull. More »
