"I Love My Ducks" [@Yahoo!7 Video, via Duck Sports News via EDSBS]

The group doesn't have a name yet — Redick mentioned "Sub-Par," "Afterthought," and "No-Profits" as possibilities — but they have their first single. Or most of it, anyway.

The chorus has been written and the first verse and the direction we're heading on the song has to deal with ‘waste management,'" Redick elaborated.

The song is called, of course, "Waste Management," and he hopes to release it by the end of the year, with an album to follow. May I suggest some potential titles?

•Dukiestyle
•Get Benched Or Die Tryin'
•Please Redick Don't Miss 'em
•Fear Of A White Two-Guard
•Suckonia
•Life After Duke
•It's Dark And Orlando Is Hot

Orlando Magic's JJ Redick Releasing Rap Album [AllHipHop.com]

It's true: The network just announced that it's developing a reality show centered on the life and times of Owens, who may or may not even be with he Cowboys next season. "VH1 announced Monday that the series takes place in the offseason, and T.O.'s best friends and publicists — Monique Jackson and Kita Williams — will help him re-examine his personal life. The two will work as 'matchmakers and therapists' for Owens." Sounds like I'm gonna need a whole handful of caffeine pills to stay awake through this.

That caps an exciting day in Cowboys news in which we also learn that tight end Martellus Bennett has recorded a rap song in which, among other things, he rhymes "Romo" with "homo;" and Romo's beloved intended, Jessica Simpson, appears at a chili cookoff in Florida showing off a few (dozen) extra pounds.

In case you're looking for Bennett's video, YouTube seems to have taken it down ... at the Cowboys' behest? By all accounts it was pretty bad. Here's a description:

It's just about what you'd expect from the Cowboys' wildly entertaining, slightly crazy young tight end. His first video features Bennett busting a freestyle rap bragging about having "Jerry Jones money" (while wearing a Cowboys helmet) and includes a bunch of words that aren't allowed to be used on this here blog. He has another R-rated rap titled, "Google Me" on his MySpace page. Hey, what do you expect from a goofy 21-year-old millionaire who doesn't have any professional obligations other than to work out daily? But I did call Bennett to request that he tone down the language in his raps.

Meanwhile, the center photo of Jessica Simpson above was taken at the 99.9 Kiss Country Chili Cookoff at C.B. Smith Park in Ft. Lauderdale on Sunday. Quite a transformation since July, I must say. Jessica, in WhyFame.com:

"Curves are better. I don't get the whole rail thing. It's not good for your heart, it's not good for your mind; it's emotionally destructive, it really is."

Plus, you're warmer in the winter.

If it was Jerry Jones' intention to bring some normalcy back to his team and return to the basics of football for the coming season, well, mission accomplished, my friend! The only thing missing is an actual clown car.

Jessica Simpson Has Gained A Couple Larry Legends (Lbs) [Sports Crackle Pop]
Breaking: Tony Romo Now Dating Dolly Parton [The Sports Hernia]
Get Cha Popcorn Ready, TO To Get Own Reality Show [Slow Breaker]
Martellus Bennett Has A Dirty Mouth And A Lot Of Free Time [Dallas Morning News]

Randball points us to the epic news in the Arizona Republic:

Digital Underground, Tone Loc and Young MC, rappers who struck it big in the late 1980s and early '90s, will get the party started at Dan Majerle's Three-Day Downtown EndZone Block Party at 8 p.m. Feb. 1 in front of the former Phoenix Suns player's bar and grill in downtown Phoenix. The party, along First Street between Washington and Jefferson streets, runs from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. each day Jan. 31 through Feb. 2.

Friday, former Dallas Cowboy Emmitt Smith will be on hand to help attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the "Largest Dish Ever Washed."

Tickets are $20 to $75 and can be purchased online here. Attendees must be 21 or older so they know who in hell the musical acts are. Word!

The Funky Humpty Bust A Medina Super Bowl Party! [Randball]
Rappers To Host Super Bowl Party At Sports Bar [The Arizona Republic]

Via Marc Berman's Knicks Blog: a duo of NYK die-hards — Genovese from Yonkers and Gustapo from Queens — and their new rap song, "Fire Isiah." If this doesn't break Zeke, nothing will!

A few of the lyrics:

I been reppin' the Knicks, lil' kid around the mid eighties,
Bernard King, Cartwright, shorts tight crazy,
Patrick came, Mark Jackson came,
Pat Riley, Van Gundy showed us the D game,
Starks grabbed his jersey always repped NY,
Oakman and Mase always played with pride,
Last of the true Knicks Camby and Kurt Thomas split,
Now here comes Isiah now we turned to spit,
Got the highest payroll but the worst chemistry fit,
I got "Fire Isiah" tattooed on my wrist.

Your rap-battle move, Isiah. If you need a ghostwriter, call me. I know many, many words that rhyme with "sunt." Like, off the top of my head: "cunt." (For example.)

"Fire Isiah" / First Cousins [MySpace]
Fire Isiah Rap Song [Knicks Blog]
Bob Knight, Isiah Thomas And "Sunt" [Deadspin]

If you answered Ed Nelson, well... I'm sorry to say that you're wrong. Ed Nelson, 6'8" senior forward, has recorded kind of a hick rap song. It's terrible. Just terrible, in every sense, and I think I hate him. You probably souldn't even read this. I'm not sure how old Ed Nelson is, but I'm not ruling out the possibility that Lil' Ronnie is his illegitimate lovechild. But even Ronnie had an excuse, he's a kid. Ed Nelson has no such excuse.

If you don't want to head over to The Bell Parking Lot and download it so you can fully take part in the pain, here's the first verse:

I'm a little bit country, I love to play ball
That's why I got my jersey retired on the wall
So you better have some fear for the rookie of the year
Cuz I had you shook, like you seen a big ol' bear
But in Connecticut, you're likely to see a deer
And I'm the first damn person to knock out a queer
Ain't gonna lie, I know I'm kinda funny
People hang around me, cuz they know I'm worth money
Drive a pick-up truck, and jump higher than a bunny
Back on my ground, I'm the people's champ
So historic, got my own postage stamp
So go ahead, take the voyage to my domain
Not one of y'all gangstas will remain
I'll show you my gramps, his name is Bob
He'll tell ya 'pull up your pants', cuz you look like a slob
Then whack you off the head, with a corn on the cob

So here's what we know about Ed Nelson:

1) He has apparently retired his own jersey
2) He's still living off of his ACC rookie of the year title, despite averaging 3 points in 9 minutes of action this year
3) He's a raging homophobe. If you want to "knock out a queer," he'll beat you to it.
4) He has seen deer.
5) He must have consturcted his own postage stamp with his likeness on it, because I don't recall the United States Postal Service ever issuing one.
6) His grandfather has an unusual method of whacking you off.

#32 Ed Nelson - Pickup Truck [The Bell Parking Lot]
"Talkin' 'Bout 87, My Homey Reggie Wayne" [Deadspin]

I can't wait until Sunday night at just before midnight when Scott Van Pelt tells us on SportsCenter that the union and the league have just struck a last-second deal. And then they'll go live to a Gene Upshaw press conference, and he'll say, "Well, things looked bleak for a while. We didn't think we'd get it done. But then MC Hammer sent us this proposal..."

You can enjoy Hammer's blog here. He's also got a post about A-Rod, and then the rest of it is about his son and some crazy dream he had where he was a cop in the south in 1968.

NFL Talks End [MC Hammer Blog]
You Can Go Ahead and Turn This Motha Out [Mister Irrelevant]

But the bizarre collaboration is the weirdest aspect of all, we think. To quote FreeDarko:

this COMPLETELY raises the stakes on strange collaborations. It used to be, "Wow, that's odd KRS ONE and Puffy did a song together" or "Gee whiz, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow made a ballad!" Soon it's gonna be, "that new Matthew Barney collaboration with Warren Sapp, Debra Winger and Beenie Man is GULLY." The LEAST strange aspect of this song is that Mr. Longoria is rapping. The most strange, potentially what was FAB-O doing with these Parisian cats?

We highly recommend a download, particularly because this is the first time any San Antonio Spur has sounded cool.

Thursdays With Thurl [FreeDarko]