Well, I guess we can give them a little bit of attention since they might shrivel up and die without it. This whole thing started this summer when von Furstenburg got a restraining order again Miller, claiming that Reggie was harassing his wife-to-be, Ali Kay, and that when confronted, Miller basically threatened to have his gang member buddies to shoot him. Then in an effort to lay low and protect his own safety, von Furstenburg hired a virtual sky writer to tell the world he'd been cuckolded by a former Pacer.

Fast forward to this weekend and von Furstenburg—who again, tried to get a legal order of protection to keep this guy away from him—tracked Reggie down at a restaurant and challenged him to a fight. What bravery! Miller drove away without incident and now he has an order of protection against Alex.

This is the lamest high school feud of all time. "I can't come within 50 feet of you? No, you can't within 50 feet of me! Jerk!"

EXCLUSIVE: Reggie Miller Gets Restraining Order In Love Triangle Case [Radar Online]

If only someone had given a similar warning to Ali Kay, then Alex von Furstenburg might still be married to an heiress. (Fortunately, he still has his own family money to fall back on.) Alas, he's now engaged to Kay, the 25-year-old beauty who caught the eye of the formers Pacers legend. And that's probably why Miller's lawyer is suggesting that Reggie is not the one to blame for this flirtation.

Fiancée Ali Kay sent two provocative photos of herself to the NBA announcer during a three-month phone flirtation, the former hoop star's lawyer Marty Singer insisted.

"There was one of her in bed and one with a bathing suit on," he said.

Noting that Kay is not married, Singer blasted: "This is a ridiculous and absurd story about a single girl who exchanged text messages with Reggie Miller."

Did you get all that? So basically everyone is being unfaithful all the time, but von Furstenburg is the only one "shocked" enough to hire airplanes announcing to the world that he is danger of being cuckolded. I don't know about you, but I think these kids just might make it.

ALEX VON FURSTENBERG PAID FOR BANNER SAYING 'REGGIE MILLER STOP PURSUING MARRIED WOMEN' [New York Post]
Alex von Furstenburg Would Like You to Know a Larger Man Seduced His Fiancée [Gawker]

UPDATE: TMZ has the texts. Lovely.

Maybe Miller's learning some things from TNT coworker Charles Barkley about landing a side piece, but targeting someone who's engaged is never wise. Especially if said woman's fiancé is pseudo-famous and rich enough to take their revenge in a very public fashion.

Alex von Furstenberg is a Malibu surf shop owner, but more importantly the son of fashion legend Diane von Furstenberg and stepson of media mogul Barry Diller. He's also engaged to designer Ali Kay.

According to the restraining order, which was never filed, Miller is neighbors with von Furstenberg and Kay, and met her at a Fourth of July party last year. In early March, he ran into her at a grocery store, then waited outside for an hour until she left, before following her up the Pacific Coast Highway.

He also allegedly harassed her by phone, including sending her 53 text messages over the course of less than four hours.

When confronted by von Furstenberg, according to the complaint, Miller turned threatening:

He said he had friends with guns. He implied I would get hurt if I didn't stop questioning him on his inappropriate pursuit of my fiancee and his attempts to subvert his efforts."

The matter seemed to have ended when each party's lawyers got involved, and von Fursternberg gave this statement:

I was very upset about Reggie's behavior towards my fiancée. I think people in Malibu share my views that being a famous basketball player should not provide some sort of shield against inappropriate behavior. Reggie sincerely apologized to me on a phone call with Ronald Richards, his attorney, and myself. I cannot comment further on the matter as I believe it has been resolved."

So, no legal action, but someone doesn't want to let Reggie forget about this so quickly. Hence Friday's message in the skies over the AVP beach volleyball tournament in Hermosa Beach. For your reading pleasure, the restraining order, courtesy of Diary Of A Hollywood Street King:

Reggie Miller Getting Boo'ed In Malibu, No Slam Dunk Here… [Diary Of A Hollywood Street King]

Here's Miller's side of the story: TMZ

After all, who wouldn't want a tramp stamp in the front, where it's more conducive for touching? Certainly not Miller and, apparently, not this female companion of his, either.

Either way, it beats spending the summer recess with a jet ski and a pig.

Reggie Miller Struggles In the TNT Chair, But Out Of It... [The Big Lead]
Reggie Miller's Tat: Does It Come In Men's? [TMZ]

PHOTO: Flynet

I'm convinced that Grey Goose has hired some renegade PR firm to orchestrate this free-spirited photo-op in an effort to create more brand awareness for the Goose among sports blog commenters. Belvedere has just been killing them on that front this year.

We can all admit, though, that drinking the Goose does make Reggie look so much more human.

Reggie Miller Likes To Party [Don Chavez]

And thankfully, I won't have to watch him feel the heat with somebody. With somebody who (somebody who) loves him. Sigh.

The retired Indiana Pacer's star and TNT NBA analyst, 41, tells Us Weekly that he was approached to be on Season 4 of Dancing With the Stars, but decided to pass. The former basketball player said that he was flattered by the offer, but declined due to scheduling conflicts.

Reggie Miller Rejects Dancing With the Stars [Us Weekly Online]

This one is mostly obsessed with the Indiana Pacers, which seems like an odd choice but is still somehow perfect, in that random way. The p hoto here is an encouragment for fans to make Reggie Miller "Dancing Reggie Paper Puppets" for the night to honor him on March 30. We won't be making it to Conseco, but, to be honest, we want one of the puppets anyway. It's not as great as the Reggie Miller Corn Maze, but it's close.

Sumiko's Playground (translated)
The Great Reggie Miller Corn Maze [Deadspin]

We are not the least bit surprised Miller was so terrible, but we give a possible explanation: The headphones wouldn't fit over his ears? Maybe? Just trying to help here.

Reggie Miller Is Biased [YAYSports!]

Now that you're properly briefed, we proudly introduce you to the Reggie Miller Corn Maze, hosted by S&H Campgrounds And Poppin Corn Maze in Greenfield, Ind. It covers 14 acres of corn, 4.6 miles of trails and a quite distinct trip up and down Reggie's crotch. It's eight bucks for adults, $4 for children 5-12, but we suggest clipping this coupon for two bucks off. Don't forget to visit the Moonwalk booth!

Reggie Miller Corn Maze [S&H Campgrounds And Poppin Corn Maze]