Forbes believes that Tim Tebow's obsession with that Christ fella has sparked a resurgence in Bible messages at sporting events. You know, people holding up signs with the numbers of Bible verses so that viewers could look them up and have an epiphany. Of course, anyone over a certain age knows the signs used to be ubiquitous at major (and minor) sporting events thanks to some dude known as "Rainbow Man," a Jesus freak who was frequently seen on TV wearing a clown wig and carrying a sign that read "John 3:16." So Forbes included a "where are they now" sidebar story on Rainbow Man, a.k.a., Rollen Stewart, because unbeknown to most people (including me) he's been in jail since 1992, when he took a hotel maid hostage at gunpoint.

His personal life was a wreck as well. Stewart claimed he never made any money (his tickets to sporting events were believed to have been bought by sympathetic Christians). By the 1990s, he was homeless and living in his car. His wife and one-time signage partner had left him—she claimed he choked her when she didn't hold her sign in the correct place during a game.

Finally he went over the edge. In September of 1992, Rollen locked himself in a hotel room in a Los Angeles Hyatt and made threats to shoot at airplanes landing and taking off at nearby LAX Airport. He held a Hyatt maid hostage in his room. He plastered religious verses on the windows. After an eight-hour standoff, SWAT teams broke into his room and found a handgun, two ammunition clips and 47 live ammunition rounds.

Um. Wow. Stewart was given three life terms for the incident—yay, California sentencing laws?—and gets denied for parole pretty much once a year. Oh, he still believes in God. Just in more of a vengeful fire and brimstone kind of way, I guess.

Now I'm not saying Tebow's eye black messages are leading him down a similar path of violent insanity, but you know, some people do get a little out of hand with their Gator chomps. I suggest that he sticks to decaf.

John 3:16: Where Is He Now? [Forbes]
The Resurrection Of John 3:16 [Forbes]

A debate is raging in Happy Valley over the appropriateness of the shirt. Far be it from me to call those against it stupid by pointing out that it's, you know, a vertical blue line like the one on the Nittany Lions' iconic helmets. And far be it from me to call those for it stupid by pointing out that this shirt, meant to be worn for Beaver Stadium's "white-outs" has an awful lot of non-white on it.

But I will point out that when FOX News (who unsurprisingly were the ones to break this story), needed a quote from someone offended by a cross, they went to the campus's Jews.

There always has to be some sort of separation," said Berns, referring to the state-funded school and religious affiliation. "Me personally, I'm not going to buy the shirts and I know others at [Penn State Hillel] who won't, either."

This, of course, is similar to the situation at rival Notre Dame, where the student body protests if merchandise doesn't have a cross on it.

Cross-Like T-Shirt Design at Penn State University Sparks Controversy [FOX News]

The Amazing Grace Baptist Church, in western North Carolina, has a doozy of a website that singles out the worst offenders in "Follywood," on "Devilvision," and, yes, the sports world. The usual suspects are represented, like Mike Tyson, Michael Vick and "Peter" Rose. But there are some surprising inclusions (all sic'ed).

Marko Jaric: Engaged to the Victoria's Secret supermodel (porn magazing) Adriana Lima.

Richard Petty: As a public figure Richard Petty makes it clear that the two most important things in his life are his family and his fans. "I don't particularly tell my guys to cheat. I just tell them not to get caught." Richard Petty's god is racing, not God Almighty. He teaches that is okay in life to cheat just don't get caught doing it. Is Richard Petty your idol?

Joakim Noah: Has long hair, which is disobedient to the Word of God.

Adam Archuleta: Engaged to a Playboy Playmate Jennifer Walcott. They have one son. This is called fornication, and we all know what their son is called, the same thing the Bible calls him.

Matt Leinart: Matt is telling your people all over this world that it okay to drink, be immodest, and to be in an sexual situation with more than one girl. He is teaching teenagers not to save themselves for their spouse, but to live it up because you only live life once. Is Matt your idol?

Torrie Wilson: Committed an abomination by kissing a female wrester "Sable" on the lips.

Tom Brady: Tom Brady has an unwed child, but it's okay because he wins Super Bowls....Tom Brady is teaching us to have sex outside of marriage, to commit fornication, don't marry and do the right thing, don't take responsibility for your actions, have a good time no matter who you hurt in this world, go from sex partner to sex partner, and it's okay because of who I am. How many of you dad's cheer on Tom in the Super Bowl while your kids are watching?

Noticeably absent: Miroslav Satan.

Index Of Ungodly Athletes [Amazing Grace Baptist Church]
North Carolina Church To Burn ‘Satan's Books,' Including Works Of Mother Teresa [The Raw Story]

It's all because of these seemingly unimportant words, from the "Personal Life" section of his user-generated biography: "His father, Fred Phelps...."

Michael Phelps' father is Fred Phelps. Unless there is more than one Fred Phelps in America, that means the Olympic champion swimmer's father is the psychotic ruler of the Westboro Baptist Church, and the creator of the famous slogan and website "God Hates Fags" and its slightly lesser known campaign, "Priests Rape Boys."

This is what Fred had the say on the occasion of the death of Pope John Paul II:

Deal with it, you idolatrous morons! The pope is in Hell. Westboro Baptist Church members are competent expert witnesses, having picketed hundreds of Catholic churches in all fifty states over the past fourteen years. We will bear witness on Judgment Day: Catholics are the meanest, most violent people on Earth, and their churches are filled with filthy fag priests. On John Paul II's watch, the Catholic Church became the CHURCH OF THE HOLY PEDOPHILES and sodomite feces and semen replaced bread and wine.

Fred Phelps' best writing is a witty combination of William S. Burroughs and Skeletor, isn't it?

Anyways, that is the real 100% true reason why noted waterbug Michael "God Hates Boats" Phelps will not meet with Pervert Pope Benedict XVI, The Godfather of Pedophiles.

Now head on over to Priestsrapeboys.com and enjoy their popular music video "Your Pastor Is a Whore."

The first team Kacy faced relied on the Bible to express its beliefs about female football players in a pre-game statement, said New Creation athletic director Coach Ken Townley.

“The East Atlanta Mustangs didn’t play us under protest but they were allowed to read a statement on their beliefs about female football players,” Townley said. “They used biblical verses from the book of Romans. I was very stunned by that.”

Remember, these people are lecturing a home school team called the Crusaders about what the Bible says about female football players. That team has accepted her and her pretty good leg and it's their opponents who somehow can't handle giving up field goals to a girl.

• Controversy follows girl football kicker + Using the Bible to keep girls in “their place” [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

Jesus of the Week

Anyway, you thank me when you win but why do you never thank me when you don't? I have never once heard myself blamed for a loss in sport. Why? I could handle it, you know. Just as I could accept congratulations for allowing a rival to beat you, if it ever came.

After all, if you are a true believer you will surely realise that my playing field is nothing but even; I discriminate against no one. As Homer Simpson once said: "I always thought God was just for athletes and Grammy winners, but he's there for me too."

Leave Me Out Of Your Petty Games [UK Guardian]