sausage Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wisconsin GOP tries to grill Racing Sausages, but they’re gonna get burned
The Wisconsin Republican Party is very good at manipulating the rules of democracy. They’ve gerrymandered the hell out of the state to the point that despite Democrats earning a majority of the votes in the 2018 legislative elections, Republicans won 63 of the 99 seats....

Get A Load Of This Sausage Child Wiping Out
They let the young sausages participate in the sausage race in Milwaukee today. Always a dicey proposition. Check out this little fellow, who eats it right at the very start of the race:...

Polish Sausage Vs. Italian Sausage … WHO YA GOT?!
This week’s Deadcast focuses on a number of topics, including the Mike and the Mad Dog 9/11 transcripts, the Aaron Hernandez suicide, and other instances where the sports-take machinery fully breaks down in the wake of real-world tragedy. But that’s not what you came here for now, is it? No, no ... ...

How To Make Sausage And Peppers: A Guide For The Stir Crazy
This column originally ran on February 16, 2013. However, I've been laid up with strep throat for the past few days, so I'm resurrecting it, both because I haven't been able to cook at all this week, and also because this is what I will cook and eat as soon as I am able to swallow things again....

Chorizo Sausage Eats It During Sausage Race
A reader sends in this front-row view of the Chorizo Sausage eating it during tonight's Sausage Race at Miller Park. ...

How To Make Sausage Gravy, And Shave A Few Years Off Your Lifespan
Sausage gravy is deeply, deeply disreputable food. In its typical presentation, slopped across biscuits in some charmingly run-down roadside diner with Patsy Cline playing on the jukebox, it is, in essence, flour on flour, dressed up as actual sustenance by the inclusion of token quantities of butte...

Hey, It's 10 Years (And A Day) Since The Randall Simon Sausage Episode
July 9, 2003, found first baseman Randall Simon in the middle of his first season with the Pirates, in the middle of a forgettable career that hovered just above replacement level. Well, not totally forgettable. Simon didn’t start on the night of the incident, but he did make the final out in the to...

Brewers' Racing Sausage Thieves Took Their Prize On A Boozy Bender
More details about the recent theft of Guido the Italian Sausage have emerged, and they come courtesy of those who carried out the heist. Ted Berg of USA Today Sports received a message from the sausage thieves, and under the condition of maintaining their anonymity, they told him all about the grea...
![A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18fzhpk4dbfedjpg.jpg)
A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]
We told you earlier today about the theft of beloved Brewers Italian racing sausage, Guido. The whereabouts of Guido and his thieving conspirators—it's got to be at least a two-man job at this point—remain a mystery. Their days may be numbered however thanks to one brave woman's plan: free mustard....

One Of The Brewers' Racing Sausages Is Missing
Disaster in Milwaukee: Guido the Italian Sausage, pictured above to the far left, was last seen barhopping in a local suburb the weekend before last, only it's not clear who was wearing the $3,000 costume or where it went....

How To Cook Sausage And Peppers: A Guide For The Stir Crazy
This is the worst time of year....

British Mayor Scandalizes Tiny Town By Showing Up To Olympic Torch Parade Dressed As "Sausage"
61-year-old Jill Makinson-Sanders is mayor of Louth, Lincolnshire, England, a cozy town of 15,000 in the English countryside. (Jim Broadbent lives nearby.) Small-town politicians, as a matter of habit, do what they can to put their towns and their towns' industries on the national map. Makinson-Sand...

Grading NBA Players On Their "LET US PLAY" Twitter Pleas
Today is last day the NBA lockout can end without missing games. Too bad. The lockout isn't ending, despite the social media screeching of various union members. The NBPA thankfully has retweeted much of that screeching solidarity. Here's how we classify it....

How To Cover A Dog Sex Scandal: Just Another Day At Deadspin
Sometimes, we get stories that even we aren't sure what to do with. Here's a transcript of a discussion on how to package a story about a rugger with his dick in a dog's mouth. This is how your sausage gets made....

Rick Pitino Screws Common Decency On A Restaurant Floor, So To Speak
Louisville has offered a scholarship to former Wake Forest center Tony Woods, last seen fracturing his girlfriend's spine. You can rest assured Rick Pitino will find a way to compare this to 9/11. [The Dagger]...

Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...

How To Insure You're Alone Next Valentine's Day
The high bid is only $300 (with an estimated value of $850!) with two days remaining, but let's be honest. Anyone who would bid on the "Sausages Serenade Your Sweetheart" package probably doesn't have a sweetheart to serenade. [MLB.com Auctions]...

<em>Life & Style</em> Goes Fishing For Tiger Tales
A Life & Style reporter is searching for information about Joslyn James. If anyone can help her, please contact her immediately. I won't be able to help, unfortunately. Her email, after the jump....

Fans, Media Recruited (And Manipulated) In Fight Over Televised Sports (Updated)
Some media outlets want you to rage against a new lobbying organization that claims to represent sports fans, but is actually a front for satellite companies looking to destroy cable TV sports. But who is really manipulating who here?...