"I am very sorry for my inability to return to the club in a timely manner due to personal issues," Kemp wrote in a letter posted on the team's Web site Saturday. "I'm very sorry that these unforeseen circumstances have resulted in the club's understandable decision." The 38-year-old Kemp had not played since 2003 and was arrested in 2005 and 2006, both times in drug-related matters.

Kemp's college career was similarly aborted when he left the University of Kentucky after being accused to trying to pawn some jewelery stolen from a teammate. So now we have matching bookends. The Reign Man's reign has officially ended.

Seam Kemp's Return To Pro Basketball Cut Short [SI]

There are a couple of surprises here, first, Shawn Kemp is only 40. Surprising only because Kemp has a daughter who's 32. Second, an Italian basketball team called Premiata Montegranaro has offered him a contract. Of course this report comes via Ball Don't Lie (via The Sport Count) who claims that this article reports that. Only the article is in Italian. And my mom's basement doesn't have a pocket Italian translator.

So I'll just assume all this is true. Which is awesome. Because Shawn Kemp has been no stranger to the ladies in America—a country with sexual harassment laws. Can you imagine what Kemp can do in Italy? A country where sexually harassing women is the national past-time? Only good things can happen from this. Well, assuming the pasta isn't unlimited. Only good non-pasta things. Thank you Italy.

Italian MetroNews [Italy newspaper]
Has Europe gotten it right for once? [The Sport Count]
The NBA euro exodus continues... [Ball Don't Lie]

This is why we're fortunate to live in a digital publishing age where concept-to-completion is only a few keystrokes and a blogspot account away. Enter, "Athletes Making Babies," which is a one-stop shop for all your bastard offspring of professional athlete news and opinion. And nobody is spared:

So far, the athletes mentioned on this blog in its short history, Darren McFadden, Kobe Bryant, Stephon Marbury, have been scolded for their off-the-field philandering. I wasn't the first and will not be the last. But the one person that's getting away with having a baby out of wedlock is Tom Brady. He didn't do anything different from what Shawn Kemp does on a bi-annual basis. It's not a race issue because Matt Leinart's prostate was set on fire by the media when word came out about his illegitimate child.

Be sure to watch out for the "Which former Heisman winning quarterback's prostate was set on fire?" question on Jeopardy! in 2009.

The Brett Favre Theory Starring Tom Brady And His Baby... [Athletes Making Babies]

Larry Brown might be the luckiest man in the world. He'll get a nice settlement from his $50 million contract and, most important, be relieved of all responsibility to coach the 2006 Knicks. Sure, his "dream job" didn't work out, but now he can sit back and watch the big boat smash into the iceberg from the comfort of his own leather sectional.
Not so for Isiah Thomas, who at this stage of his career, has an ego that far outweighs his ability to do anything but make lewd comments to female Knick executives and sign overrated free agents. But I'm sure he'll make a great coach. Really.

Let's employ the crackpot handicapping skills to the NEW-NEW New York Knicks. 2006: a year better? After the jump, get all your Knicks odds.

Knickerbocker Oddsmaking

Odds of drafting a true point guard in first round: 4/1

Odds of drafting a European in first round: 3/1

Odds of trading picks for Allen Iverson: 6/1

Odds of signing Allan Houston to 6-year, $100 million contract to become assistant coach: 2/1

Odds Knicks sign revitalized free agent Shawn Kemp to 5-year, $40 million deal: 7/1

Odds new Knick Shawn Kemp impregnates a Knicks City Dancer: EVEN

Odds new Knick Shawn Kemp impregnates a folding chair: EVEN

Odds new Knick Shawn Kemp impregnates himself: EVEN

Odds James Dolan steps down, sells shares to Isiah Thomas: 4/1

Odds that before All-Star break new majority owner/GM/coach Isiah Thomas un-retires, signs himself to long term contract as point guard: 6/1

Odds Isiah Thomas slapped with new sexual harassment suit: 5/1

Odds new sexual harassment suit filed by Channing Frye: 7/1

Fun With the Over Under

Knick Wins: 12

Stephon Marbury points per game avg.: 32

Stephon Marbury assists per game avg.: 1.7

Stephon Marbury Tattoos per game avg.: 13

Spike Lee exasperated head shakes per game avg: 20

MSG avg. attendance during Knicks game: 4,500

MSG avg. attendance during St. John's Women's Basketball game: 4,600

Yes, everyone's favorite random procreator — seen here dealing with yet another on-court "surprise!" — went through a grueling three-day camp for potential Denver Nuggets free agents over the weekend, and, on the whole, he wasn't a disaster. He says his main goal for now is to make it into a summer league to "reacquaint" himself with the NBA. He no longer weighs 300-plus pounds.

By the way, if you're bored today, we encourage you to check out Reignman, Kemp's official Web site. Shawn and his handlers encourage you to send in all your Shawn Kemp-related artwork, which is a noble deed.

Kemp Tries Another Comeback With Nuggets [Denver Post]
Reignman [Official Site]

And if you're running a little bit late on the gift front, well... here's a suggestion. You can either buy her the shirt, or buy her a leather ensemble and arrange for her to actually be picked up by Chris Berman.

And the moms aren't the only people who deserve some recognition today. Let's also pause briefly to acknowledge Shawn Kemp. He's got quite an ordeal to go through himself today. All those baby-mamas out there, scattered in NBA cities all across the nation... That's a lot of responsibility for one man. God speed, Shawn Kemp.

The T-Shirts ... They're Finally Here [Deadspin.com]