•A Stanford booster built coach Jim Harbaugh a private bathroom that cost between $50,000 and $70,000. Despite the university being in the midst of budget cuts, it's a wise investment: it'll keep Harbaugh from shitting the bed, like he did so many times in his playing career.

•This week's Sports Illustrated promises fans it will be "100% Favre-Free." Translation: he signed with the Vikes right before deadline, and we didn't feel like rewriting our NFL previews.

•Your toothless lede: "Animal rights groups and the Philadelphia Eagles are looking at ways they can join forces to combat dogfighting." A humble suggestion: don't pay convicted ringleaders of dogfighting rings millions of dollars.

•The Dodgers came to Colorado, and got beaten by the best team in the NL West. Two-game deficit be damned, the rolling Rockies have two-straight walk-off wins, all the momentum, and for some reason, Jason Giambi.

•What we've all been waiting for: the WWE is planning to launch their own TV network. Now the long-past-their-prime wrestlers like Shawn Michaels, the Undertaker and Tommy Dreamer will live on forever in classic matches, instead of dragging on forever on the damn PPVs.

•Seahawks sign old and crappy Edgerrin James. This will not remove the stink of past running back options young and crappy Maurice Morris, or old and crappy Shaun Alexander.

•And let's all laugh at Serena Williams as she tries and fails to win the carnival "hammer game:"

Jonathan "Shu-Fry" Strange won the honor of being the Stanford Tree, and will begin his term in the spring, taking over for current tree Patrick Fortune, a junior from Fresno. He has quite a legacy to live up to.

In keeping with the secretive tendencies of the Band and the Tree, Strange declined to describe all of his stunts in order to keep the intrigue alive. His largest and final stunt had him dressed up in a gorilla suit as "Shu Kong" and chased around by his friends with torches and pitchforks. Against a backdrop of machine fog and red lights, he was "captured" by the angry mob and welded into a cage ball that he had constructed earlier.

Witness the glory of Tree Week.

The Mascot Is Strange [The Stanford Daily]
An Interview With Stanford's Tree [Los Angeles Times]

Last week we brought you coverage of the Stanford Tree and and cheerleader booty-licking allegations, which included a response from the tree itself. But now other photos have surfaced. Are these Stanford cheerleaders, or will they turn out to be, as before, band members posing as cheerleaders?

I think that an interview is in order. Oasis, after band practice? Stanford Tree, please email me.

Thanks to The Sports Culture for digging these up.

By Popular Demand: More Of The Wacky Stanford Tree [The Sports Culture]

Actually, it was The Tree's media representative who fired off the missive (at 1:30 a.m.). Turns out that the girls in the photo were not cheerleaders, but in fact Stanford band members posing as cheerleaders. And the photo was taken at ... the Special Olympics? Read on.

Hi-diddly-ho neighborino,

It's the folks from the Stanford Band, that organization that effortlessly blends punk pop, sousaphones and pants dropping into a homogeneous creamy mixture, here to say that we saw your entry on the Tree today and we thought we could provide the appropriate context for this rogue photo, for as you know, the Tree is actually the mascot of the Band.

First off, We (or perhaps I is more appropriate, let's drop the Leitch-esque use of the royal we) are big fans of Deadspin. I love Deadspin like a fat kid loves cake. HOW-EVA, STEPHEN A. SMITH IS HERE TO SAY THAT YOUR APPROACH TO THE TREE NEEDS MORE NUANCE. You see, the Tree is like Che Guevara with bling on, he's complex. He leads a high-stress life, filled with enemies out to get him after they found out about the Rolexes and the Lexus and that he was blowin' up like nitro. Sometimes he needs to unwind, which may attribute to his/her past indiscretions, but is not at the root of this current image which indubitably was lifted from the Tree's Facebook profile. Now I know you understand my flow, so here we go.

From the looks of the surroundings, my best estimate is that that picture was taken at the 2007 Marin Country Special Olympics, who invited the Band to provide a funk-laden rockin' soundtrack to these athletes. They appreciated our boogieing so much, the local newspaper even wrote an article about it (Lookit Martha! We's in thu paypurs!). It's not as illicit is it may initially appear. In fact, our drum major just needed a visual illustration of the Krebs cycle for his Human Biology problem set, and the Tree and Dollies were more than willing to oblige. That's all that picture is. Move along folks, nothing to see here.

Also, and listen close because this part is the most important, as much as I love Deadspin posts with the cheerleader tag (and believe me do I ever) I would have to petition you to remove it from this photo. You see, those fetching lasses depicted are not cheerleaders at all. In fact, they are 3 of the Dollies, the Band's 5 woman dance team/ninja commando strike force. They only perform in a dance and/or roundhouse kick capacity, so as you can see, they are definitely not cheerleaders. The only way they resemble Stanford's designated cheerleaders is that neither of them actually lead cheers.

Finally, while nothing I can say will ever truly convince you. I can say that by and large most of the times when you see the tree he is not, in fact, schwasted, schmammered, nor even schipsy. Before every football game and basketball game, the Tree now has to take a breathalyzer test, and of course pass it. Funny story about that though, for our reunion game against TCU we had about 8 or so returning Trees, with their costumes and everything. That morning they had partaken in the Breakfast of Champions (aka beer and donuts) as well as some light post-BoC drinking, unbeknownst that a breathalyzer ambush awaited them as they entered the stadium. Twas a sad day when most of them were denied entry into the game, and made doubly sad by the fact that the entire ordeal took so long that we had no chance to do our pregame show that we spent hours on, listening to people in towers tell us how much we were messing it up. We almost didn't have time to play the Star Spangled Banner. That would have been a fine how-do-you-do. I tell you this story merely to illustrate what happens when our mission of rocking out and bringing the funk run up against stodgy administrators. It's veritably out of a college movie! Maybe a bra bomb would loosen them up a little.

Also, this story shows that maybe we should keep this picture on the d/l. If word got out that we were having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N, they might just close down our Sex Cauldron once and for all.

Finally, know that this letter is primarily a procrastination technique, to avoid doing my problem set, but feel free to post any of it on your interwebs.

Rock the Fuck Out,
Peter "Shotgun" McDonald
Stanford Band, Public Relations

Not sure where this was taken, but as one commenter pointed out, if nothing else the Tree has invented the term "having a treesome." I'm not laughing, mister. The Tree has been in trouble with school authorities before, and frankly I'm surprised he's still around.

• February, 2006: Arrested for getting completely shit-faced at a Cal-Stanford basketball game. Blows a .157 BAC when tested by cops.

• March, 2006: Officially fined and sanctioned by the university for drunken cavorting at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament.

• August, 2006: Banned by the NCAA.

• March, 2007: Held off bids by new prospective band mascots: a manhole cover and a french fry.

The Stanford Tree Just ... [The Sports Culture]

Take Stanford, for instance. Winners of the U.S. Sports Academy Directors' Cup for 14 years running — the award given to the best overall sports program in the country — the university is talking about slashing $5 million from its sports programs over the next three years. That could mean letting coaches go, and if things don't improve, even cutting loose some entire programs. From the San Jose Mercury:

Athletic Director Bob Bowlsby told a gathering of department employees that cutting sports and coaches would come only as a last resort, Cardinal squash coach Mark Talbott said. Bowlsby and the department's budget director discussed cutting travel squads and charging for parking at football games as possible solutions to budget shortfalls.

Welcome to the recession.

Other schools have taken more drastic measures. Last week, Division II Western Washington announced it was dropping football altogether. Even big-time sports schools aren't immune. Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel said athletics director Gene Smith talked with the staff in December about upcoming cuts.

"We have to tighten our belts just like everyone else's in the midst of tightening theirs," Tressel said at the American Football Coaches Association in Nashville, Tenn. San Jose State coach and new AFCA president Dick Tomey already is cutting back. "It's a matter of not staying all night and trying to get back late or staying at somebody's house when you recruit," Tomey said. "It's just trying to do a lot of the things a lot of us started out in coaching, trying to save money a lot of different ways."

If you see Dallas Lauderdale hitchhiking to Bloomington next week, please give him a lift.

Of course at some schools, the big sports could be doing a better job of helping the little ones. Take our Cardinal, for instance. Attendance at Stanford's newly-refurbished football stadium has dropped steadily since it was constructed in 2006; until, this past season, it dropped below that of its final year before the new place was built.

Ray Ratto, of CBS Sports and the San Francisco Chronicle:

In other words, the problem was more than the old stadium, and more than the bad results. The problem is systemic, is going to get worse as the economy goes through its gyrations, and, in time, staff reductions will become sport reductions.

You could be seeing a change in the landscape of college football before you know it, said Skip Sauer of The Sports Economist.

"College budget cuts in the near future are going to be enormous," he said. "A lot of us have this fanatsy that sports is different, but that's just false. Sports is not immune. Every day jobs are being eliminated in colleges, and you're going to see changes in the sports landscape very quickly.

"I don't see Stanford football going away anytime soon. But you never know what could happen; things change. Brown once played in the Rose Bowl, for heaven's sake."

Stanford Football Isn't Pulling Its Own Weight [San Francisco Chronicle]
Stanford Exploring How To Trim Athletics Budget Without Trimming Sports [San Jose Mercury]
NCAA, Colleges Looking To Cut Costs [Pittsburgh Live]

Joe Starkey is retiring as play-by-play voice of the 49ers. Don't recognize the name? He's the broadcaster who always sounds like his testicles are wired to a car battery, as this legendary clip demonstrates.

They simply call it The Play: That game-ending kickoff in 1982 in which Cal scored a multi-lateral touchdown — plowing through the Stanford band in the process — to win the Big Game. John Elways' tearful post-game quote: "The band ruined my college career," was delicious, but nothing helped cement the moment in college history like Starkey's call. Subtlety was never the man's strong suit; any play of any significance was reported as if Martians had just landed on a farm outside of Grovers Mill, New Jersey.

Also, accuracy was not a huge priority. "Gore catches it at the 40 for a three-yard gain; not enough for a first down ... wait, they're giving him EIGHT yards. And that's Johnson, not Gore. Sorry." In other words, the perfect play-by-play guy for San Francisco. The longtime sports director for KGO would for years call a Cal game on Saturday and then trundle off to wherever the 49ers were playing the next day; a schedule that finally got the better of him. He'll continue to call games for Cal, however, although how his larynx ever recovered from that day in 1982 is beyond me.

End Of An Era: Joe Starkey Retires [Santa Rosa Press Democrat]

''I hate it, playing up there,'' Marinelli told cardinalreport.com after practice Wednesday, referring to Notre Dame . ''The field, excuse my language, the field sucks. The stadium sucks. I think the area sucks. I grew up with a bunch of Irish and Italian Catholic people back home,'' said the 6-7, 297-pound senior from Braintree, Mass. ''And all the Irish Catholic people, all they talk about is Notre Dame this, Notre Dame that. And they've never even been there, you know. So I hate those guys, I hate that school. We are going out there to mash them up, and that's all there is to it.''

As if the Irish weren't already motivated by a 23-7 loss to Michigan State on Sept. 20. But Marinelli wasn't through.

''We'll be ready,'' Marinelli said when asked how he and his linemates will handle Notre Dame's blitzes. ''I've seen a lot of tape, and it is a good challenge for us. But on the same token, it's going to go bad for them at one point, and we are going to gash the [expletive] out of them, I promise you that. So keep bringing it, keep bringing it. They have one sack all year on 200 blitzes.''

It didn't take long for the big guy to get called onto the carpet. This is Stanford, after all. The athletic department released the Marinelli's apology Thursday afternoon: ''I would like to apologize to the University of Notre Dame and anybody else who I may have offended from the remarks I made in an interview earlier this week. I was caught up in the emotions of the game and should have been more thoughtful in my comments. The remarks were out of character for me and certainly aren't reflective of my teammates or anybody else affiliated with the Stanford program. I look forward to a competitive game on Saturday in one of the great environments in college football.''

Notre Dame students would normally be realy agitated, except that they have better thungs to worry about.

Stanford — Stanford? — Player Calls Out Notre Dame [San Jose Mercury]

The deal works like this: New season-ticket and new "Family Plan" buyers can ask for the "Gridiron Guarantee," and if unsatisfied with the "entertainment value" at season's end, the cost of the season tickets will be refunded. "It's good motivation for us, but that motivation is already there," Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh said. "We definitely want to give fans their money's worth."

This really is a groundbreaking move; the only thing similar that I can think of in professional or college sports is the Boston Red Sox guarantee of getting pummeled within an inch of your life if you wear another team's cap or jersey.

In the two seasons since the stadium has been remodeled, Stanford has won only two home games, and has no sellouts. The 55,000-seat facility averaged only 39,000 (announced) per game last season, and had 7,000 unsold tickets for Notre Dame. One caveat to the money-back plan, however. In order to get the refund, all tickets must be turned in before the the USC game on Nov. 15.

Stanford Football Banking On Bold Ticket Guarantee [SFGate]

Brook Lopez, one half of the approximately 14 feet that is the Lopez twins, was considered the more-talented basketball brother at Stanford University this past season. Although possibly not the more mature. Witness his wit and wisdom during the NBA Draft, including the highly quotable: "This is so booooooring!"

Lopez went to the Nets with the 10th pick, so I don't know what he was complaining about. Did he expect to go second? Robin Lopez then went to the Suns at No. 15. If Shaq sticks around, that's some speedy team they're building in Arizona.

Brook Lopez Is A Special Guy [Odenized]

TEXAS LONGHORNS

1. The First Date. If you're not familiar with the Texas Longhorn bench, you're not alone. The five starters average a combined 165 minutes per game, typically seeing rest only when they're in foul trouble. Well, friends, you're about to get a heaping helping of Dexter "Death Star" Pittman (6'10", "299" pounds, sophomore), a slice of Alexis Wangmene (6'7", 241 pounds, freshman), and maybe even a dash of Clint Chapman (6'10", 245 pounds, freshman). It doesn't take a stretch of the imagination to envision Rick Barnes preferring a big line-up to his usual three-undersized-guards set when he takes on Stanford's versions of Beauty and the Beast. Look for A.J. Abrams and Justin Mason to be rotated much more frequently than they usually are (pretty much never) in order to get three burnt orange big men on the court and for the 2-3 zone defense, which the Longhorns ran extremely well against Miami of Florida, to be used for nearly all forty minutes.

2. The Long-Term Relationship. The fine folks at CBS and ESPN can tell you all about the guys who will play huge on-court roles in the success of the Longhorns. To get the full picture of the team, though, you need to know about the seniors: Ian Mooney and J.D. Lewis. Look, it's not likely that either of these guys will see more than a couple of minutes each in any of the remaining games this season and it's even less likely that they'll score actual points. Still, as graduating Longhorn basketball players — Mooney in advertising, Lewis in business — they deserve to have their names mentioned. Mooney's story, in particular, is a great one and should be required reading for anybody who thinks sport can reflect or influence life. Even in this SportsCenter world where uplifting stories are seemingly a dime a dozen, there's always something satisfying about seeing — or, at least, reading about — a prototypical student-athlete.

3. The Break-Up. Speaking of those seniors, though Mooney and Lewis are the only ones which just about instantly begs the question that Texas hoops fans have come to abhor recently: "So who's leaving early this year?" The consensus is that D.J. Augustin and Damion James are the only players in the running. For what it's worth, Augustin has said that he's definitely coming back and many aren't convinced that James is ready for the NBA. Then again, T.J. Ford was "110% sure" he would stay for his junior year and not many people thought that Daniel Gibson was ready for the NBA, either. If both of those guys end up sticking around, it's pretty hard to imagine the Longhorns as anything but strong favorites to show up in Detroit this time next year. But come on. Nobody in Austin will be shocked if they bolt — indeed, we've almost come to expect it. Everybody knows that you can't trust the kids these days. Especially not ones who are presented with million-dollar contracts. — Patrick Nance

STANFORD CARDINAL

1. Michelle Wei Loves Her Some Lopez Twin. Leave it to pro golfer Michele Wei to hook up with one of the Lopez twins, and pick the wrong one. Wei, a Stanford student, is dating Robin Lopez, one of the 14 feet, 2 inches of Lopez brothers who will guide the Cardinal in their third-round game against Texas on Friday in Houston. From Sports Illustrated, via SportsbyBrooks: "Robin is dating Stanford's current most famous female coed, golf phenom Michelle Wie, although both have tried to keep things as quiet as possible." Doesn't she know that Brook is the good twin? Although, Robin is picking it up in the NCAA tournament, perhaps inspired by Michelle. He's averagging 16.0 points and 6.5 rebounds over the two games, up from his regular season output of 8.1 points and 5.7 rebounds. But Brook (19.0 points, 10.3 rebounds in he regular season) had 30 points in the OT win over Marquette. Might Michelle be tempted to switch?

2. What Can Brown Do For You?. Although only a junior, Kenny Brown won't be around for the Cardinal next season; he's giving up his final year of college eligibility to attend dental school. A non-scholarship player, Brown rarely plays more than three or four minutes, and hasn't played at all in four games this season. However, he's made six of eight 3-point attempts in Stanford's two tournament games, including a key 3-pointer late in the first half ofthe second game that ended a 10-1 Marquette run. Ad he had 18 points in the win over Cornell.

3. Gone Baby Gone. Curtis Shaw, the ref who ejected Stanford coach Trent Johnson from the Marquette game, may have himself a temper problem. Shaw leads all of college basketball in both technicals called and ejections; the former by 10 over the second-place guy ... Candace Wiggins should be playing for the men's team. She scored a school-record tying 44 points on Monday in Stanford's 88-54 win over UTEP, as the Cardinal women advanced to the NCAA tournament's round of 16. That was the third most points scored in women's tournament history. — Rick Chandler

Stanford vs. Texas, 7:27 pm, Friday

#3 Stanford Cardinal

Last Weekend: Defeated #14 Cornell 77-53, defeated #6 Marquette 82-81.

How Stanford Got Here: Brook Lopez. The Cardinal big man scored 28 of his 30 points against Marquette in the 2nd half Saturday. Including the game winner with 1.3 seconds left on the clock that sent the Cardinal to the Sweet 16. Brook, one half of the Cardinal's twin towers, has emerged as the go-to-guy in Palo Alto this season and if they are to reach the Final Four, he'll have to continue to cash in with the game on the line. Just as importantly, Mitch Johnson dished out a career-high 16 assists and hit 3-3 from three point land against the Golden Eagles. If he's doing that the Cardinal are going to be tough to beat.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Cardinal: That they're back. After spending the last few years as a non-factor nationally, Trent Johnson has the Cardinal back where they belong among the west coast's elite teams and national title contenders. That said, getting any further would be just a bonus for this Cardinal team whose most important players are underclassmen. Though, they're far from likely to be back next year so they might want to make this run count.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: Roughly 25 percent. The Cardinal are a virtual pick 'em against Texas on Friday, and their odds are likely to be the same regardless of who they meet next. The Longhorns provide a similar challenge to that of Marquette: great guard play, which happens to be the Cardinal's biggest weakness. If they expect to get past this one they'll need similar performances form their big men and an equally good performance from Mitch Johnson. And this time it'd probably be in the team's best interest if its coach wasn't sent to the showers before the first half even ended.

#2 Texas Longhorns

Last Weekend: Defeated #15 Austin Peay 74-54, defeated #7 Miami 75-72.

How Texas Got Here: Pretty much the normal way for a 2-seed. They cruised against an overmatched Austin Peay team, then had a bit more of a challenge against former Texas assistant Frank Haith and his Miami Hurricanes. The team effort is chugging along, with Augustin scoring an dishing, James scoring and rebounding, and Atchley chipping in 15 points on Easter Sunday. The real story was A.J. Abrams, who put up 26 to help beat the Hurricanes.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Longhorns: They belong. Texas took the Big 12 regular-season crown from the Jayhawks this year, but couldn't grab the conference's auto-bid despite making the championship game for the third straight year. This is a team that beat Tennessee and UCLA this season, so they feel they can make the Final Four.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: Fair-to-middlin'. The Longhorns have a starting five that's tough to deny, but their bench is ridiculously short. If they can't get some quality minutes out of their role players, it's going to be very difficult to get past Stanford, let alone the winner of the Memphis/Michigan State game. D.J. Augustin is the key, whether as a scorer or dropping off sweet passes for his teammates. If he is stymied, the Longhorns are toast.

Michigan State vs. Memphis, 9:57 pm Friday

#5 Michigan State Spartans

Last Weekend: Defeated #12 Temple 72-61, defeated #4 Pitt 65-54

How Michigan State Got Here: Drew Neitzel and Raymar Morgan. Neitzel's senior leadership and clutch shooting has paced the Spartans all season long, and he showed up big against Pitt with 5-8 three-point shooting. Raymar Morgan carried the load when Neitzel struggled against Temple, which will be very helpful against a fast, deep Memphis team.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Spartans: Delivery on Potential. Before the season began, many people predicted the Spartans would win the Big Ten and advance to at least the Sweet 16. As the season went on however, that opinion changed. The Spartans are finally playing the kind of basketball that fans have been waiting for - and just when it counts, too.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: Memphis' tourney time is winding down to a close. Their lack of free throw shooting and inability to safely put close games away will hurt them - but not in this game. Michigan State gives up too much athleticism to the Tigers, who should live for at least one more week. But credit Tom Izzo, he got his guys to play their tails off to finish out the year.

#1 Memphis Tigers

Last Weekend: Defeated #16 Texas-Arlington 87-63, defeated #8 Mississippi State 77-74

How Memphis Got Here: The emergence of Derrick Rose as the team leader and avoiding the upset bug. Just about everyone is going to focus on the atrocious foul-shooting, but the emergence of a freshman as the team's go-to guy in clutch games has been the difference. Starting with 23-point performance in the Tennessee game when no other Tiger could hit a shot to save their life, Rose has been the difference maker. He scored 17 points in each of the Tigers' wins last weekend and turned the ball over only twice for the weekend. The Tigers were also able to survive against a Mississippi State team that matched up against them perfectly.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Tigers: More than any other team still playing, the Sweet 16 means absolutely nothing to Memphis. Hell, the Elite Eight really means nothing to the Tigers. This team needs to reach the Final Four for Memphis to legitimize its dominance over shaky competition over the past three seasons. No Final Four this season, no one is taking Memphis seriously again if they finish 30-2 next season.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: You have to think that it's the worst of the remaining #1 seeds, and not just because they are in the most difficult region remaining, but because they may also have to defeat Texas in Houston. Still, this team only lost one game for a reason, and no one seems to think they will be able to score on Michigan State. A wise college basketball writer once told me to never bet against a John Calipari-coached team when he has the team thinking no one believes in them or if there is a possible large sum or money or pay increase dependent on a victory. We'll go with Memphis for at least one more game.

Hope you enjoyed the regional breakdowns. Our ongoing March Madness coverage has been a group effort featuring much of the talented STF crew, including Brandon Darling, Mike White, and Matt Mattucci. Thanks, guys!

At this point, it wouldn't be any more surprising to see Michigan State, Texas or Stanford in the Final Four than Memphis; of all the regions, the South seems the most up in the air despite it (mostly) falling according to seed. Memphis went 6-1 against NCAA Tourney teams this year. Their loss was to Tennessee — the only one of those teams still left in the tournament. (And wobbling.) Sorry: We're not gonna believe in Memphis anymore. Uncle.

Besides, anything that keeps the Stanford Tree hanging around.

#1 Memphis vs. #16 Texas-Arlington.
• UTA Mavericks are making their first trip to the NCAA tournament.
• Mavs got here by playing schools named Schriener, Hardin Simmons, and Texas-Permian Basin.
• Memphis has gone 8-1 against other teams who made the Dance.
The Pick: Memphis

#2 Texas vs. #15 Austin Peay.
• Longhorns have beaten top-seeded tourney teams Tennessee, UCLA, and Kansas this season.
• One of the teams they lost to, Michigan State, is in this bracket. WEVENGE!!!
• Peay is loaded with upperclassmen, and led by wily coach Dave Loos (18 years at AP). The Govs ran up 82 points against bracket-mate Memphis this season, but yielded 104 on the other end.
The Pick: Texas

#3 Stanford vs. #14 Cornell.
• Cornell drew the first NCAA bid this season by going 14-0 in the Ivy League.
• The Big Red have their own giant in seven-foot St. Bonaventure transfer Jeff Foote, but they drew a school that puts both 7' Lopez brothers on the floor at the same time.
• Neither team scores in bunches, so this could be like watching a Teddy Bear climb a Tree for forty minutes.
The Pick: Stanford.

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #13 Oral Roberts.
• Pitt began the season on an eleven-game winning streak. If they can finish it the same way (five and counting as of today), they'll have a snazzy new trophy for their case.
• The Panthers tore through three ranked and higher-seeded teams to take the Big East tournament auto-bid.
• Oral Roberts hasn't fared too well against power-conference teams this season, losing to tournament-bound Texas A&M, Arkansas, and Texas in the early season.
The Pick: Pitt.

#5 Michigan State vs. #12 Temple.
• The Spartans are an enigma this season. They scored just 36 points at Iowa in January, then hung 103 on Indiana in March. Lord knows which team shows up.
• Everybody knows Drew Neitzel, but sophomore Raymar Morgan is Michigan State's most prolific scorer (14 ppg) and rebounder (6.3 rpg).
• It's Christmas time in Philly, as local hero Dionte Christmas has racked up a 20-point-plus scoring average this year and can bomb from deep. But the gifts are also coming from another local, Mark Tyndale, who dishes out 4.2 assists per game.
The Pick: Temple

#6 Marquette vs. #11 Kentucky.
• Freshman sensation Patrick Patterson was averaging over 35 minutes per game for the Wildcats before suffering a stress fracture that has shelved him for the postseason.
• Marquette's tallest player is Ousmane Barro, a 6'10" Senegalese who averages 5 points per game, just over one block per game, and has five fouls to give.
• Kentucky head coach Billy Gillispie hasn't had to remove a flaming bag of dog poop from his front porch since February's blowout loss to Vanderbilt. So that's nice.
The Pick: Marquette

#7 Miami vs. #10 St. Mary's.
• Hurricane fans are really hoping we won't have to see that (FL) thing any more, since Miami (OH) didn't make it to the tournament.
• Aussie Patrick Mills gets all the press, but St. Mary's is loaded, with Diamon Simpson scoring (13 ppg) and rebounding (9 rpg), Omar Samhan clogging the lane, and Todd Golden playing the role of annoying white jump-shooter.
• Picked to finish last in the ACC this year, Miami instead knocked off tournament teams Duke and Clemson en route to a 22-win season.
The Pick: St. Mary's

#8 Mississippi State vs. #9 Oregon.
• Why I'm Warming Up to Oregon: I have my reasons.
• Tyler Hansbrough's younger brother Ben plays for the Bulldogs. Isn't that cute?
• Mississippi State's tenacious rebounding is, well, Bulldog-esque. Jamont Gordon, Charles Rhodes, and Jarvis Varnado have each notched double-figure rebounding games this season.
The Pick: Mississippi State

Predictions

Round of 32: Memphis gets past the Bulldogs. Temple succumbs to Pitt. Stanford dominates inside to get past Marquette. Texas handles St. Mary's.

Sweet 16: Pitt continues to surprise by taking down Memphis. Texas ekes out enough offense against Stanford's elite D to move on.

Regional Final: Texas vs. Pitt, with the Longhorns heading to the Final Four, where they party like it's 2003.

Regional MOP: D.J. Augustin.

2. Their Coaching Staff Can Beat Up Your Coaching Staff. If an on-court melee erupts, bet on the Cardinal. They have a young coaching staff led by head coach Trent Johnson, but when you throw in athletic trainer Tomoo Yamada, its all over. Born in Tokyo, Japan, Yamada is a martial arts expert who specializes in Jui Jitsu, and has trained on the famed Shamrock Fighting Team.

3. Sloshball Fever: Catch It. One of Stanford's greatest traditions is Sloshball; a kickball game that features a keg at second base. A full beer must be consumed before the runner may leave second base, and a beer must be held in a cup at all times. Disputed calls are settled by beer chugging contests known as boatraces. Sadly, another tradition, the Big Game bonfire on Lake Lagunita, was discontinued due to the presence of endangered salamanders. — Rick Chandler

A foul, Mr. Official? Seriously? This call is the 2000 Florida election results of college basketball.

Collison, the conference's leading free-throw shooter, said, "We were fortunate to get a foul on that call. I heard it was a makeup. Nah, they hit some tough shots down the stretch, and we were real fortunate to get that call. Regardless of what call it was, the fact is we played hard and showed no quit."

This makes the last four minutes of the Patriots-Ravens game seem completely fair.

Stanford's Title Hopes End In OT At UCLA [San Jose Mercury]

The third guy in the video is clearly 6'8" Junior Lawrence Hill.

If you want to see the poor man's version of this, and not have to stay up past your bedtime, check out Oklahoma's Blake and Taylor Griffin sometime.

Top 25 Action

Memphis 79-UAB 78. Tigers preserve streak they claim not to care about.
Duke 73-Wake Forest 86. I won't lie, I hope this makes the Deacs bubble-worthy.
Kansas 69-Colorado 45. Kansas celebrated 20 years without a title at half.
Tennessee 74-Georgia 71. Sundiata Gaines led Dawgs in four stats, lost.
UNC 92-Virginia Tech 53. Heels finally stopped pussyfooting around.
UCLA 56-USC 46. Mayo only notched double figures in one stat - turnovers.
Stanford 67-Arizona 66. Cardinal are struggling with the dry heat on the road.
Georgetown 70-Syracuse 77. The 2-3 zone has laid many a giant low. Your turn, Hib.
Indiana 80-Michigan State 61. Wow. Sampson should get indicted more often.
Butler 51-Cleveland State 46. Everyone knows Graves. Meet Green and Howard.
Texas 82-Baylor 77. Durant was there to watch. Next stop, Oklahoma City!!!!
Wisconsin 65-Minnesota 56. Tubby recruits Bunyan's kid following 12 in the paint.
Drake 65-Northern Iowa 55. Bulldogs clinch regular-season MVC title.
Oklahoma State 59-Texas A&M 54. Cowboys have a 1-20 road streak going.
Notre Dame 71-Rutgers 68. This space for rent.
UConn 74-South Florida 73 (OT). Gransberry (25/15) is big & bad, but needs help.
Vandy 61-Florida 58. 1,400th win in Vandy history. B. Knight has 2/3 that many hisownself.
Wash St. 62-Oregon 53. Cougars climbing. Ducks diving.
St. Mary's 80-Loyola Marymount 49. Where have you gone, Bo Kimble?
K-State 100-Mizzou 63. Michael Beasley is better than Kevin Durant. Discuss.
Purdue 71-Northwestern 56. Painter is putting a nice little portfolio together for the big show.
Marquette 72-Pitt 54. Dominic James: 12 assists, no turnovers. Da-yum.

Three Feet High and Rising

Louisville - Tied for first in the Big East, with a ranking sure to appear this week.
Mississippi State - Nipped Arkansas to get to 8-2 and second place in the SEC.
Cornell - 8-0 in the Ivy. Every game brings them closer to clinching the first tourney bid of the season.

Tonight's Big Games

Xavier (21-4) at Rhode Island (20-5). The Rams have suffered in conference, where they've picked up four of their five losses. Xavier is dominating behind the spectacular point guard play of 5'7" Drew Lavender. These are both tournament teams, but winning this in Kingston would seriously improve Rhody's seeding.

Texas A&M (20-5) at Texas (21-4). A&M doesn't have a lot of reliable scorers, and they're walking into a building where the league-leading Jayhawks took a tumble. Damion James has been tearing it up for the Longhorns recently, putting up double-doubles against Kansas and Baylor. He has yet to foul out this year, as well.

Eric Angevine writes about college basketball at Storming the Floor, and contributes to Chicago Sports Weekly. He can be reached at stormingthefloor@gmail.com.

"I keep thinking I should be conflicted over all of this, given that Stanford's victory allows Cal to get to No. 2 (almost No. 1 if not for LSU's big comeback)."

Yep, the 24-23 win at USC was so stunning, Cardinal supporters are worried about how it affects their arch-rival. God, they don't even know how to properly celebrate. Having grown up in the Bay Area, this doesn't surprise me at all. Unlike Texas or Oklahoma, where football is religion and one wrong word can get your scrotum ripped, we are by comparison a sleepy backwater. In the great department store of college football, we are the casual wear department.

But that doesn't make Saturday's result any less significant. Even if no one else is saying it, can I call this what it is? The biggest upset in college football history. USC opened as a 41-point favorite, and by game time the line was at 39-40. If the point spead is the standard, then this beats the runnerup, Oregon State (+36) over Washington, 21-20, in 1986. Other fun facts:

• Going into the game, Stanford was 2-14 since the start of last season and had been outscored 72-3 in the previous six quarters.
• It was the first start for quarterback Tavita Pritchard, who had thrown three passes in college.
• Stanford's defense was allowing 47 points per game in Pac-10 play.
• The Cardinal trailed 23-14 in the fourth quarter.

But for the Stanford-didn't-win-it-USC-lost-it crowd, well, things like this just don't happen without being part of some bigger picture. The fact that Stanford was even in a position to win it at the end means that this program has turned some sort of corner. The Cardinal played harder, made the the big plays when they counted and may have had a bit of divine assistance when Mark Bradford pulled down Pritchard's pass in the left corner of the end zone for the winning TD. This caused all sorts of confusion among the Versus announcers, by the way: One of whom boldly predicted — after the TD catch had tied it — that Stanford would go for the one-point conversion instead of two.

It's kind of a neat moment, too, for Jim Harbaugh, who played high school football across the street from Stanford — at Palo Alto High — before becoming the quarterback at Michigan (after Stanford admissions had turned him down). While at Paly, Harbaugh was so famous for locking his keys in his car during football season that teammates built him a jimmy device in shop class so that they wouldn't have to continually drive him home. It's that singularity of purpose that leads one to believe that he just may have a future in this football business.

On the other hand, you have John David Booty, who the same night his team lost in the biggest upset in college history, was seen doing shooters at Les Deux, an LA nightclub. It could be said that he was drowning his sorrows; if by that you meant "being draped by blondes."

Actually I'm just relieved that the Stanford band didn't march onto the field prematurely and ruin this one. That very easily could have happened.

Biggest Upset In College Football History? [Democratic Underground]
LA Nightclub Gets Booty Shots After Trojan Loss [SportsbyBrooks]
Stanford Upset Of USC Even Shocks Commentators [SportsbyBrooks]
Stanford Shocker [YouTube]