''I hate it, playing up there,'' Marinelli told cardinalreport.com after practice Wednesday, referring to Notre Dame . ''The field, excuse my language, the field sucks. The stadium sucks. I think the area sucks. I grew up with a bunch of Irish and Italian Catholic people back home,'' said the 6-7, 297-pound senior from Braintree, Mass. ''And all the Irish Catholic people, all they talk about is Notre Dame this, Notre Dame that. And they've never even been there, you know. So I hate those guys, I hate that school. We are going out there to mash them up, and that's all there is to it.''

As if the Irish weren't already motivated by a 23-7 loss to Michigan State on Sept. 20. But Marinelli wasn't through.

''We'll be ready,'' Marinelli said when asked how he and his linemates will handle Notre Dame's blitzes. ''I've seen a lot of tape, and it is a good challenge for us. But on the same token, it's going to go bad for them at one point, and we are going to gash the [expletive] out of them, I promise you that. So keep bringing it, keep bringing it. They have one sack all year on 200 blitzes.''

It didn't take long for the big guy to get called onto the carpet. This is Stanford, after all. The athletic department released the Marinelli's apology Thursday afternoon: ''I would like to apologize to the University of Notre Dame and anybody else who I may have offended from the remarks I made in an interview earlier this week. I was caught up in the emotions of the game and should have been more thoughtful in my comments. The remarks were out of character for me and certainly aren't reflective of my teammates or anybody else affiliated with the Stanford program. I look forward to a competitive game on Saturday in one of the great environments in college football.''

Notre Dame students would normally be realy agitated, except that they have better thungs to worry about.

Stanford — Stanford? — Player Calls Out Notre Dame [San Jose Mercury]

The deal works like this: New season-ticket and new "Family Plan" buyers can ask for the "Gridiron Guarantee," and if unsatisfied with the "entertainment value" at season's end, the cost of the season tickets will be refunded. "It's good motivation for us, but that motivation is already there," Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh said. "We definitely want to give fans their money's worth."

This really is a groundbreaking move; the only thing similar that I can think of in professional or college sports is the Boston Red Sox guarantee of getting pummeled within an inch of your life if you wear another team's cap or jersey.

In the two seasons since the stadium has been remodeled, Stanford has won only two home games, and has no sellouts. The 55,000-seat facility averaged only 39,000 (announced) per game last season, and had 7,000 unsold tickets for Notre Dame. One caveat to the money-back plan, however. In order to get the refund, all tickets must be turned in before the the USC game on Nov. 15.

Stanford Football Banking On Bold Ticket Guarantee [SFGate]

Brook Lopez, one half of the approximately 14 feet that is the Lopez twins, was considered the more-talented basketball brother at Stanford University this past season. Although possibly not the more mature. Witness his wit and wisdom during the NBA Draft, including the highly quotable: "This is so booooooring!"

Lopez went to the Nets with the 10th pick, so I don't know what he was complaining about. Did he expect to go second? Robin Lopez then went to the Suns at No. 15. If Shaq sticks around, that's some speedy team they're building in Arizona.

Brook Lopez Is A Special Guy [Odenized]

TEXAS LONGHORNS

1. The First Date. If you're not familiar with the Texas Longhorn bench, you're not alone. The five starters average a combined 165 minutes per game, typically seeing rest only when they're in foul trouble. Well, friends, you're about to get a heaping helping of Dexter "Death Star" Pittman (6'10", "299" pounds, sophomore), a slice of Alexis Wangmene (6'7", 241 pounds, freshman), and maybe even a dash of Clint Chapman (6'10", 245 pounds, freshman). It doesn't take a stretch of the imagination to envision Rick Barnes preferring a big line-up to his usual three-undersized-guards set when he takes on Stanford's versions of Beauty and the Beast. Look for A.J. Abrams and Justin Mason to be rotated much more frequently than they usually are (pretty much never) in order to get three burnt orange big men on the court and for the 2-3 zone defense, which the Longhorns ran extremely well against Miami of Florida, to be used for nearly all forty minutes.

2. The Long-Term Relationship. The fine folks at CBS and ESPN can tell you all about the guys who will play huge on-court roles in the success of the Longhorns. To get the full picture of the team, though, you need to know about the seniors: Ian Mooney and J.D. Lewis. Look, it's not likely that either of these guys will see more than a couple of minutes each in any of the remaining games this season and it's even less likely that they'll score actual points. Still, as graduating Longhorn basketball players — Mooney in advertising, Lewis in business — they deserve to have their names mentioned. Mooney's story, in particular, is a great one and should be required reading for anybody who thinks sport can reflect or influence life. Even in this SportsCenter world where uplifting stories are seemingly a dime a dozen, there's always something satisfying about seeing — or, at least, reading about — a prototypical student-athlete.

3. The Break-Up. Speaking of those seniors, though Mooney and Lewis are the only ones which just about instantly begs the question that Texas hoops fans have come to abhor recently: "So who's leaving early this year?" The consensus is that D.J. Augustin and Damion James are the only players in the running. For what it's worth, Augustin has said that he's definitely coming back and many aren't convinced that James is ready for the NBA. Then again, T.J. Ford was "110% sure" he would stay for his junior year and not many people thought that Daniel Gibson was ready for the NBA, either. If both of those guys end up sticking around, it's pretty hard to imagine the Longhorns as anything but strong favorites to show up in Detroit this time next year. But come on. Nobody in Austin will be shocked if they bolt — indeed, we've almost come to expect it. Everybody knows that you can't trust the kids these days. Especially not ones who are presented with million-dollar contracts. — Patrick Nance

STANFORD CARDINAL

1. Michelle Wei Loves Her Some Lopez Twin. Leave it to pro golfer Michele Wei to hook up with one of the Lopez twins, and pick the wrong one. Wei, a Stanford student, is dating Robin Lopez, one of the 14 feet, 2 inches of Lopez brothers who will guide the Cardinal in their third-round game against Texas on Friday in Houston. From Sports Illustrated, via SportsbyBrooks: "Robin is dating Stanford's current most famous female coed, golf phenom Michelle Wie, although both have tried to keep things as quiet as possible." Doesn't she know that Brook is the good twin? Although, Robin is picking it up in the NCAA tournament, perhaps inspired by Michelle. He's averagging 16.0 points and 6.5 rebounds over the two games, up from his regular season output of 8.1 points and 5.7 rebounds. But Brook (19.0 points, 10.3 rebounds in he regular season) had 30 points in the OT win over Marquette. Might Michelle be tempted to switch?

2. What Can Brown Do For You?. Although only a junior, Kenny Brown won't be around for the Cardinal next season; he's giving up his final year of college eligibility to attend dental school. A non-scholarship player, Brown rarely plays more than three or four minutes, and hasn't played at all in four games this season. However, he's made six of eight 3-point attempts in Stanford's two tournament games, including a key 3-pointer late in the first half ofthe second game that ended a 10-1 Marquette run. Ad he had 18 points in the win over Cornell.

3. Gone Baby Gone. Curtis Shaw, the ref who ejected Stanford coach Trent Johnson from the Marquette game, may have himself a temper problem. Shaw leads all of college basketball in both technicals called and ejections; the former by 10 over the second-place guy ... Candace Wiggins should be playing for the men's team. She scored a school-record tying 44 points on Monday in Stanford's 88-54 win over UTEP, as the Cardinal women advanced to the NCAA tournament's round of 16. That was the third most points scored in women's tournament history. — Rick Chandler

Stanford vs. Texas, 7:27 pm, Friday

#3 Stanford Cardinal

Last Weekend: Defeated #14 Cornell 77-53, defeated #6 Marquette 82-81.

How Stanford Got Here: Brook Lopez. The Cardinal big man scored 28 of his 30 points against Marquette in the 2nd half Saturday. Including the game winner with 1.3 seconds left on the clock that sent the Cardinal to the Sweet 16. Brook, one half of the Cardinal's twin towers, has emerged as the go-to-guy in Palo Alto this season and if they are to reach the Final Four, he'll have to continue to cash in with the game on the line. Just as importantly, Mitch Johnson dished out a career-high 16 assists and hit 3-3 from three point land against the Golden Eagles. If he's doing that the Cardinal are going to be tough to beat.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Cardinal: That they're back. After spending the last few years as a non-factor nationally, Trent Johnson has the Cardinal back where they belong among the west coast's elite teams and national title contenders. That said, getting any further would be just a bonus for this Cardinal team whose most important players are underclassmen. Though, they're far from likely to be back next year so they might want to make this run count.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: Roughly 25 percent. The Cardinal are a virtual pick 'em against Texas on Friday, and their odds are likely to be the same regardless of who they meet next. The Longhorns provide a similar challenge to that of Marquette: great guard play, which happens to be the Cardinal's biggest weakness. If they expect to get past this one they'll need similar performances form their big men and an equally good performance from Mitch Johnson. And this time it'd probably be in the team's best interest if its coach wasn't sent to the showers before the first half even ended.

#2 Texas Longhorns

Last Weekend: Defeated #15 Austin Peay 74-54, defeated #7 Miami 75-72.

How Texas Got Here: Pretty much the normal way for a 2-seed. They cruised against an overmatched Austin Peay team, then had a bit more of a challenge against former Texas assistant Frank Haith and his Miami Hurricanes. The team effort is chugging along, with Augustin scoring an dishing, James scoring and rebounding, and Atchley chipping in 15 points on Easter Sunday. The real story was A.J. Abrams, who put up 26 to help beat the Hurricanes.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Longhorns: They belong. Texas took the Big 12 regular-season crown from the Jayhawks this year, but couldn't grab the conference's auto-bid despite making the championship game for the third straight year. This is a team that beat Tennessee and UCLA this season, so they feel they can make the Final Four.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: Fair-to-middlin'. The Longhorns have a starting five that's tough to deny, but their bench is ridiculously short. If they can't get some quality minutes out of their role players, it's going to be very difficult to get past Stanford, let alone the winner of the Memphis/Michigan State game. D.J. Augustin is the key, whether as a scorer or dropping off sweet passes for his teammates. If he is stymied, the Longhorns are toast.

Michigan State vs. Memphis, 9:57 pm Friday

#5 Michigan State Spartans

Last Weekend: Defeated #12 Temple 72-61, defeated #4 Pitt 65-54

How Michigan State Got Here: Drew Neitzel and Raymar Morgan. Neitzel's senior leadership and clutch shooting has paced the Spartans all season long, and he showed up big against Pitt with 5-8 three-point shooting. Raymar Morgan carried the load when Neitzel struggled against Temple, which will be very helpful against a fast, deep Memphis team.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Spartans: Delivery on Potential. Before the season began, many people predicted the Spartans would win the Big Ten and advance to at least the Sweet 16. As the season went on however, that opinion changed. The Spartans are finally playing the kind of basketball that fans have been waiting for - and just when it counts, too.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: Memphis' tourney time is winding down to a close. Their lack of free throw shooting and inability to safely put close games away will hurt them - but not in this game. Michigan State gives up too much athleticism to the Tigers, who should live for at least one more week. But credit Tom Izzo, he got his guys to play their tails off to finish out the year.

#1 Memphis Tigers

Last Weekend: Defeated #16 Texas-Arlington 87-63, defeated #8 Mississippi State 77-74

How Memphis Got Here: The emergence of Derrick Rose as the team leader and avoiding the upset bug. Just about everyone is going to focus on the atrocious foul-shooting, but the emergence of a freshman as the team's go-to guy in clutch games has been the difference. Starting with 23-point performance in the Tennessee game when no other Tiger could hit a shot to save their life, Rose has been the difference maker. He scored 17 points in each of the Tigers' wins last weekend and turned the ball over only twice for the weekend. The Tigers were also able to survive against a Mississippi State team that matched up against them perfectly.

What the Sweet 16 Means to the Tigers: More than any other team still playing, the Sweet 16 means absolutely nothing to Memphis. Hell, the Elite Eight really means nothing to the Tigers. This team needs to reach the Final Four for Memphis to legitimize its dominance over shaky competition over the past three seasons. No Final Four this season, no one is taking Memphis seriously again if they finish 30-2 next season.

Chances to Reach San Antonio: You have to think that it's the worst of the remaining #1 seeds, and not just because they are in the most difficult region remaining, but because they may also have to defeat Texas in Houston. Still, this team only lost one game for a reason, and no one seems to think they will be able to score on Michigan State. A wise college basketball writer once told me to never bet against a John Calipari-coached team when he has the team thinking no one believes in them or if there is a possible large sum or money or pay increase dependent on a victory. We'll go with Memphis for at least one more game.

Hope you enjoyed the regional breakdowns. Our ongoing March Madness coverage has been a group effort featuring much of the talented STF crew, including Brandon Darling, Mike White, and Matt Mattucci. Thanks, guys!

At this point, it wouldn't be any more surprising to see Michigan State, Texas or Stanford in the Final Four than Memphis; of all the regions, the South seems the most up in the air despite it (mostly) falling according to seed. Memphis went 6-1 against NCAA Tourney teams this year. Their loss was to Tennessee — the only one of those teams still left in the tournament. (And wobbling.) Sorry: We're not gonna believe in Memphis anymore. Uncle.

Besides, anything that keeps the Stanford Tree hanging around.

#1 Memphis vs. #16 Texas-Arlington.
• UTA Mavericks are making their first trip to the NCAA tournament.
• Mavs got here by playing schools named Schriener, Hardin Simmons, and Texas-Permian Basin.
• Memphis has gone 8-1 against other teams who made the Dance.
The Pick: Memphis

#2 Texas vs. #15 Austin Peay.
• Longhorns have beaten top-seeded tourney teams Tennessee, UCLA, and Kansas this season.
• One of the teams they lost to, Michigan State, is in this bracket. WEVENGE!!!
• Peay is loaded with upperclassmen, and led by wily coach Dave Loos (18 years at AP). The Govs ran up 82 points against bracket-mate Memphis this season, but yielded 104 on the other end.
The Pick: Texas

#3 Stanford vs. #14 Cornell.
• Cornell drew the first NCAA bid this season by going 14-0 in the Ivy League.
• The Big Red have their own giant in seven-foot St. Bonaventure transfer Jeff Foote, but they drew a school that puts both 7' Lopez brothers on the floor at the same time.
• Neither team scores in bunches, so this could be like watching a Teddy Bear climb a Tree for forty minutes.
The Pick: Stanford.

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #13 Oral Roberts.
• Pitt began the season on an eleven-game winning streak. If they can finish it the same way (five and counting as of today), they'll have a snazzy new trophy for their case.
• The Panthers tore through three ranked and higher-seeded teams to take the Big East tournament auto-bid.
• Oral Roberts hasn't fared too well against power-conference teams this season, losing to tournament-bound Texas A&M, Arkansas, and Texas in the early season.
The Pick: Pitt.

#5 Michigan State vs. #12 Temple.
• The Spartans are an enigma this season. They scored just 36 points at Iowa in January, then hung 103 on Indiana in March. Lord knows which team shows up.
• Everybody knows Drew Neitzel, but sophomore Raymar Morgan is Michigan State's most prolific scorer (14 ppg) and rebounder (6.3 rpg).
• It's Christmas time in Philly, as local hero Dionte Christmas has racked up a 20-point-plus scoring average this year and can bomb from deep. But the gifts are also coming from another local, Mark Tyndale, who dishes out 4.2 assists per game.
The Pick: Temple

#6 Marquette vs. #11 Kentucky.
• Freshman sensation Patrick Patterson was averaging over 35 minutes per game for the Wildcats before suffering a stress fracture that has shelved him for the postseason.
• Marquette's tallest player is Ousmane Barro, a 6'10" Senegalese who averages 5 points per game, just over one block per game, and has five fouls to give.
• Kentucky head coach Billy Gillispie hasn't had to remove a flaming bag of dog poop from his front porch since February's blowout loss to Vanderbilt. So that's nice.
The Pick: Marquette

#7 Miami vs. #10 St. Mary's.
• Hurricane fans are really hoping we won't have to see that (FL) thing any more, since Miami (OH) didn't make it to the tournament.
• Aussie Patrick Mills gets all the press, but St. Mary's is loaded, with Diamon Simpson scoring (13 ppg) and rebounding (9 rpg), Omar Samhan clogging the lane, and Todd Golden playing the role of annoying white jump-shooter.
• Picked to finish last in the ACC this year, Miami instead knocked off tournament teams Duke and Clemson en route to a 22-win season.
The Pick: St. Mary's

#8 Mississippi State vs. #9 Oregon.
• Why I'm Warming Up to Oregon: I have my reasons.
• Tyler Hansbrough's younger brother Ben plays for the Bulldogs. Isn't that cute?
• Mississippi State's tenacious rebounding is, well, Bulldog-esque. Jamont Gordon, Charles Rhodes, and Jarvis Varnado have each notched double-figure rebounding games this season.
The Pick: Mississippi State

Predictions

Round of 32: Memphis gets past the Bulldogs. Temple succumbs to Pitt. Stanford dominates inside to get past Marquette. Texas handles St. Mary's.

Sweet 16: Pitt continues to surprise by taking down Memphis. Texas ekes out enough offense against Stanford's elite D to move on.

Regional Final: Texas vs. Pitt, with the Longhorns heading to the Final Four, where they party like it's 2003.

Regional MOP: D.J. Augustin.

2. Their Coaching Staff Can Beat Up Your Coaching Staff. If an on-court melee erupts, bet on the Cardinal. They have a young coaching staff led by head coach Trent Johnson, but when you throw in athletic trainer Tomoo Yamada, its all over. Born in Tokyo, Japan, Yamada is a martial arts expert who specializes in Jui Jitsu, and has trained on the famed Shamrock Fighting Team.

3. Sloshball Fever: Catch It. One of Stanford's greatest traditions is Sloshball; a kickball game that features a keg at second base. A full beer must be consumed before the runner may leave second base, and a beer must be held in a cup at all times. Disputed calls are settled by beer chugging contests known as boatraces. Sadly, another tradition, the Big Game bonfire on Lake Lagunita, was discontinued due to the presence of endangered salamanders. — Rick Chandler

A foul, Mr. Official? Seriously? This call is the 2000 Florida election results of college basketball.

Collison, the conference's leading free-throw shooter, said, "We were fortunate to get a foul on that call. I heard it was a makeup. Nah, they hit some tough shots down the stretch, and we were real fortunate to get that call. Regardless of what call it was, the fact is we played hard and showed no quit."

This makes the last four minutes of the Patriots-Ravens game seem completely fair.

Stanford's Title Hopes End In OT At UCLA [San Jose Mercury]

The third guy in the video is clearly 6'8" Junior Lawrence Hill.

If you want to see the poor man's version of this, and not have to stay up past your bedtime, check out Oklahoma's Blake and Taylor Griffin sometime.

Top 25 Action

Memphis 79-UAB 78. Tigers preserve streak they claim not to care about.
Duke 73-Wake Forest 86. I won't lie, I hope this makes the Deacs bubble-worthy.
Kansas 69-Colorado 45. Kansas celebrated 20 years without a title at half.
Tennessee 74-Georgia 71. Sundiata Gaines led Dawgs in four stats, lost.
UNC 92-Virginia Tech 53. Heels finally stopped pussyfooting around.
UCLA 56-USC 46. Mayo only notched double figures in one stat - turnovers.
Stanford 67-Arizona 66. Cardinal are struggling with the dry heat on the road.
Georgetown 70-Syracuse 77. The 2-3 zone has laid many a giant low. Your turn, Hib.
Indiana 80-Michigan State 61. Wow. Sampson should get indicted more often.
Butler 51-Cleveland State 46. Everyone knows Graves. Meet Green and Howard.
Texas 82-Baylor 77. Durant was there to watch. Next stop, Oklahoma City!!!!
Wisconsin 65-Minnesota 56. Tubby recruits Bunyan's kid following 12 in the paint.
Drake 65-Northern Iowa 55. Bulldogs clinch regular-season MVC title.
Oklahoma State 59-Texas A&M 54. Cowboys have a 1-20 road streak going.
Notre Dame 71-Rutgers 68. This space for rent.
UConn 74-South Florida 73 (OT). Gransberry (25/15) is big & bad, but needs help.
Vandy 61-Florida 58. 1,400th win in Vandy history. B. Knight has 2/3 that many hisownself.
Wash St. 62-Oregon 53. Cougars climbing. Ducks diving.
St. Mary's 80-Loyola Marymount 49. Where have you gone, Bo Kimble?
K-State 100-Mizzou 63. Michael Beasley is better than Kevin Durant. Discuss.
Purdue 71-Northwestern 56. Painter is putting a nice little portfolio together for the big show.
Marquette 72-Pitt 54. Dominic James: 12 assists, no turnovers. Da-yum.

Three Feet High and Rising

Louisville - Tied for first in the Big East, with a ranking sure to appear this week.
Mississippi State - Nipped Arkansas to get to 8-2 and second place in the SEC.
Cornell - 8-0 in the Ivy. Every game brings them closer to clinching the first tourney bid of the season.

Tonight's Big Games

Xavier (21-4) at Rhode Island (20-5). The Rams have suffered in conference, where they've picked up four of their five losses. Xavier is dominating behind the spectacular point guard play of 5'7" Drew Lavender. These are both tournament teams, but winning this in Kingston would seriously improve Rhody's seeding.

Texas A&M (20-5) at Texas (21-4). A&M doesn't have a lot of reliable scorers, and they're walking into a building where the league-leading Jayhawks took a tumble. Damion James has been tearing it up for the Longhorns recently, putting up double-doubles against Kansas and Baylor. He has yet to foul out this year, as well.

Eric Angevine writes about college basketball at Storming the Floor, and contributes to Chicago Sports Weekly. He can be reached at stormingthefloor@gmail.com.

"I keep thinking I should be conflicted over all of this, given that Stanford's victory allows Cal to get to No. 2 (almost No. 1 if not for LSU's big comeback)."

Yep, the 24-23 win at USC was so stunning, Cardinal supporters are worried about how it affects their arch-rival. God, they don't even know how to properly celebrate. Having grown up in the Bay Area, this doesn't surprise me at all. Unlike Texas or Oklahoma, where football is religion and one wrong word can get your scrotum ripped, we are by comparison a sleepy backwater. In the great department store of college football, we are the casual wear department.

But that doesn't make Saturday's result any less significant. Even if no one else is saying it, can I call this what it is? The biggest upset in college football history. USC opened as a 41-point favorite, and by game time the line was at 39-40. If the point spead is the standard, then this beats the runnerup, Oregon State (+36) over Washington, 21-20, in 1986. Other fun facts:

• Going into the game, Stanford was 2-14 since the start of last season and had been outscored 72-3 in the previous six quarters.
• It was the first start for quarterback Tavita Pritchard, who had thrown three passes in college.
• Stanford's defense was allowing 47 points per game in Pac-10 play.
• The Cardinal trailed 23-14 in the fourth quarter.

But for the Stanford-didn't-win-it-USC-lost-it crowd, well, things like this just don't happen without being part of some bigger picture. The fact that Stanford was even in a position to win it at the end means that this program has turned some sort of corner. The Cardinal played harder, made the the big plays when they counted and may have had a bit of divine assistance when Mark Bradford pulled down Pritchard's pass in the left corner of the end zone for the winning TD. This caused all sorts of confusion among the Versus announcers, by the way: One of whom boldly predicted — after the TD catch had tied it — that Stanford would go for the one-point conversion instead of two.

It's kind of a neat moment, too, for Jim Harbaugh, who played high school football across the street from Stanford — at Palo Alto High — before becoming the quarterback at Michigan (after Stanford admissions had turned him down). While at Paly, Harbaugh was so famous for locking his keys in his car during football season that teammates built him a jimmy device in shop class so that they wouldn't have to continually drive him home. It's that singularity of purpose that leads one to believe that he just may have a future in this football business.

On the other hand, you have John David Booty, who the same night his team lost in the biggest upset in college history, was seen doing shooters at Les Deux, an LA nightclub. It could be said that he was drowning his sorrows; if by that you meant "being draped by blondes."

Actually I'm just relieved that the Stanford band didn't march onto the field prematurely and ruin this one. That very easily could have happened.

Biggest Upset In College Football History? [Democratic Underground]
LA Nightclub Gets Booty Shots After Trojan Loss [SportsbyBrooks]
Stanford Upset Of USC Even Shocks Commentators [SportsbyBrooks]
Stanford Shocker [YouTube]

LOUISVILLE CARDINALS

1. Time to make the donuts. The Cardinals' late-season turnaround is due in large part to the emergence of Louisville's talented freshman class, including center Derrick Caracter. DC, who has footwork that Greg Oden would kill for, has gotten his act together after serving a pair of suspensions this season. Caracter's mother deserves part of the credit for keeping her son focused via the US Mail. Did she send him letters of encouragement? Well wishes from friends and family back home in Jersey? No, she sent him an application for employment at Dunkin' Donuts; a not-so-subtle reminder of what the big fella had to look forward to if this whole student-athlete thing doesn't work out.

2. Bigger boobs: Anna Nicole or Congress? Prominent Louisville alumni include senators Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Chris Dodd (D-CT). But before any Cardinal alumni get too smug, Anna Nicole Smith's putative babydaddy Larry Birkhead also graduated from the 'Ville.

3. Mark it eight, Dude. Rick Pitino is the only coach to take three different schools to the Final Four. But according to Card Chronicle, Pitino's winning ways on the hardwood extends beyond hoops to bowling. After Pitino posted high-game honors at the team's recent ten-pin throwdown, he triumphantly posted the scores on his personal website. Other Cardinals also maintain a presence on the internets. On his MySpace.com page, reserve Cardinal center Terrence Farley states that he is "just lookin to be easy and relax all the time," which belies his fervent game-day hustle. (Apparently Farley's laissez-faire off-court demeanor leads hottie coeds to be his internet friends.) — flubby

STANFORD CARDINAL

1. Dynamic Duo. In everyday life, seven-foot Stanford twins Brook and Robin Lopez are mild-mannered freshmen on the Cardinal's basketball team (some say a bit too mild mannered). But while not hiding behind their secret identities, they enjoy writing and drawing homemade comic books. "They draw their own little comic characters and comic strips," Alex Lopez, the younger of their two older brothers, told the Arizona Daily Wildcat. "I think they both like Batman, and Superman and Flash and all the Justice League type of characters." Alex Lopez, by the way, started for Santa Clara for two years. Deborah Ledford, their mom, was the world's second-fastest female swimmer in the 400-yard individual medley in 1976; and Heriberto Lopez, their dad, played baseball in Cuba.

2. A Knight's Tale. Trent Johnson (Bosie State, '83) has done a serviceable job as Stanford's head coach for the past three seasons (52-39 overall, three straight NCAA Tournament appearances), after having led Nevada-Reno to the NCAA Tourney Sweet 16 in 2004. But the real coaching story on the mid-Peninsula is located about four miles down the road in Atherton, where former Stanford player Kris Weems has coached tiny Menlo School to three straight Peninsula Athletic League titles and a Central Coast Section playoff semifinal appearance. Weems was a junior guard on the 1998 Stanford team that reached the NCAA Final Four. With the smallest enrollment in the league and with his teams usually undersized, Weems has coached the hell out of the Knights, and some say that it wouldn't be surprising to see him in Stanford's top spot one day. Another rumor has Mike Montgomery coming in to take the vacant Santa Clara University head coaching job, and bringing in Weems as his assistant.

3. Cardinal notes. One reason we're glad Stanford got in; the world will now meet the gloriously-named Taj Finger, a 6-foot-8 junior forward from Kisco, N.Y. ... Sophomore guard Drew Shiller was San Mateo County MVP in three sports, football, basketball and baseball, and most thought that his future was as a college quarterback, as he set Peninsula Athletic League passing records for two straight seasons with Burlingame High ... After several incidents including drunken behavior and frolicking in restricted areas during games, the two previous people to wear the Stanford Tree mascot costume, Thomas Leep and Erin Lashnits, were summarily dismissed. There have been no complaints so far regarding the current Tree, John Whipple. The tree mascot, by the way, was chosen by the Stanford Band in 1975 over runners-up the Steaming Manhole and the French Fry. — Rick Chandler.

2. A Knight's Tale. Trent Johnson (Bosie State, '83) has done a serviceable job as Stanford's head coach for the past three seasons (52-39 overall, three straight NCAA Tournament appearances), after having led Nevada-Reno to the NCAA Tourney Sweet 16 in 2004. But the real coaching story on the mid-Peninsula is located about four miles down the road in Atherton, where former Stanford player Kris Weems has coached tiny Menlo School to three straight Peninsula Athletic League titles and a Central Coast Section playoff semifinal appearance. Weems was a junior guard on the 1998 Stanford team that reached the NCAA Final Four. With the smallest enrollment in the league and with his teams usually undersized, Weems has coached the hell out of the Knights, and some say that it wouldn't be surprising to see him in Stanford's top spot one day. Another rumor has Mike Montgomery coming in to take the vacant Santa Clara University head coaching job, and bringing in Weems as his assistant.

3. Cardinal notes. One reason we're glad Stanford got in; the world will now meet the gloriously-named Taj Finger, a 6-foot-8 junior forward from Kisco, N.Y. ... Sophomore guard Drew Shiller was San Mateo County MVP in three sports, football, basketball and baseball, and most thought that his future was as a college quarterback, as he set Peninsula Athletic League passing records for two straight seasons with Burlingame High ... After several incidents including drunken behavior and frolicking in restricted areas during games, the two previous people to wear the Stanford Tree mascot costume, Thomas Leep and Erin Lashnits, were summarily dismissed. There have been no complaints so far regarding the current Tree, John Whipple. The tree mascot, by the way, was chosen by the Stanford Band in 1975 over runners-up the Steaming Manhole and the French Fry. — Rick Chandler.

But someone really should tell him that there's such a thing as overselling yourself.

"I dedicate my life's work to building the foundation here at Stanford, the foundation that will lead to great success, continue the tradition and restore the legacy that Stanford has in college football," Harbaugh said. "I vow that I will attack this endeavor with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind."

Wow. Even Matthew McConaughey is saying that many have been over the top.

Fun fact: Harbaugh's last job at Stanford was stenciling the numbers onto the football field. But we don't mean to mock: Those numbers were goddamn gorgeous.

Harbaugh Ready For Challenge At Stanford [SFGate]
Failure To Launch [Deadspin]
Jim Harbaugh Is Back In Town [Deadspin]
Small Quake Shakes Bay Area [SF Gate]

That's the safe choice. Harbaugh's dad, Jack, was an offensive coordinator for Stanford coach Paul Wiggin in the early 1980s. That's how Jim landed in the area, playing his junior and senior years of football at Palo Alto High, which is directly across El Camino Real from Stanford. That's how they do things in the Bay Area (see: 49ers head coach Mike Nolan, son of former 49ers head coach Dick Nolan). Stanford's other coaching finalist? Former Cardinal receiver James Lofton.

We just looked at the San Francisco Chronicle story on Harbaugh, and this was our favorite part:

Harbaugh was arrested in November 2005 in Encinitas for driving under the influence after being pulled over for running a stop sign. Harbaugh, who refused to take a field sobriety test, pled guilty to a lesser charge of reckless driving. He was sentenced to three years' probation, a $1,300 fine and attendance at an educational program for first-time drunk-driving offenders. Harbaugh was given a four-year contract extension at San Diego after the incident.

Well, as long as he was punished.

Stanford's Hail Mary [SFGate]

The Stanford Tree was born in the early 1980s, after the University was forced to drop its Indians nickname for Cardinal. For the first decade, the role of the Tree was generally performed by the Stanford Band managers' girlfriends; in the mid-1980's, however, the Band adopted a more formal selection process for its Trees. Today's Tree candidates must go through grueling and humiliating physical and mental challenges known as "Tree Week," where candidates are known for performing dangerous stunts.

The latest tree is Thomas Elwood Leep, who replaced Erin Lashnits, who was dismissed for the drinking incident. There have actually been 16 people to have worn the costume in the storied history of the Tree, a mascot which now may be looking for a new home. Wonder if the Dallas Cowboys are hiring?

Stanford Gets Sooners' Star In Sweet 16 [SF Gate]
How to Become the Tree, Mascot of Stanford University [eHow]
If a Tree Falls Down Drunk in the Bleachers, Does it Make a Sound? [Deadspin]

Stanford Stadium Cam

The smartest team in football? Would you believe the St. Louis Rams? Yep, apparently some teams have players who are smarter than their coach. (Sorry, Football Outsiders.) The next smartest teams are the Oakland Raiders (!), Tennessee Titans and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The dumbest? The Green Bay Packers, and, of course, the Arizona Cardinals.

It's even more fun when you rank the Wonderlic scores of college teams. You can probably guess here: The smartest is Stanford, and the worst, obviously, is Miami (Fla.)

The NFL's Smartest Team [WSJ]
NFL Teams Wonderlic Scores [WSJ] (PDF)
College Teams Wonderlic Scores [WSJ] (PDF)