In slightly less competitive fair, Florida has run up a 70-19 due in large part to the team's six rushing touchdowns. Even one of their defensive tackles has a rushing touchdown. Tebow meanwhile went 9-11 for 201 yards and three touchdowns before being replaced by John Brantley. Still, expect a bunch of people to call Urban Meyer an asshole tomorrow.

Elsewhere in the SEC, LSU is down two touchdowns to Jevan Snead's Rebels of Ole Miss. It's only a matter of time before some car dealership decides to burn an effigy of Les Miles. And now, for your comments...

Yep, this is the Illinois football I'm used to . . . the kind that makes us all happy when basketball season arrives. -kingdonut66

Cal Poly up 7-0 on Wisconsin at Camp Randall thanks to one Ryan Mole, burrowing through the Badgers' D with a bad French accent. -Signal2Noise

Cal-Poly over Wisconsin 13-0 in the 2nd. If that score holds up, Bret Bielema will get ass-raped by Barry Alvarez after the game. -kingdonut66

Gary Danielson is clapping sarcastically at a call by LSU. Apparently CBS is the home of the biggest jackass announcers in college football. -drscooter19

Praise Jesus, the Washington-Washington State game has finally kicked off. Bring on the competitive, well played football. -sgtabesimpson

1. Charlie Weis and Tom Brady go down in consecutive weeks with knee injuries. Remember that horrible movie Final Destination where death stalked all those kids? I think they even did a sequel. Is anyone else starting to think that's what Spygate is like? Weis getting wrecked on the sideline was just like that kid stepping in front of the bus and getting killed as he tried to cross the street. If I was Bill Belichick, I'd have my head on a swivel next week.

2. Does anyone else have one single friend who's approaching 30 and keeps going out to the same bar you've been going out to for the past 8 years and still runs the same pick-up a girl offense, only now it's not working at all? My friend Kelly is a Michigan grad and spent Saturday watching Michigan attempt to run the spread offense. He's argued with me that it was time for a change of offensive philosophies. Then, he pointed to our friend, standing alone and woefully adrift in front of a live band, and said, "See, the old offense just isn't working anymore." This would have been more effective if Michigan had looked the least bit competent, but, even still, the analogy is almost perfect. At least none of my friends are the only guy at the bar with a gray goatee. It's been my experience that gray goatee is always there. If you haven't noticed this then you might be the guy at the bar with the gray goatee. Condolences.

3. Post-game interview where Jimmy Clausen stares down the camera directly and made your blood run cold. I'm trying to figure out why this is making me so uncomfortable and then it hits me: Jimmy Clausen is Draco Malfoy. If you have no idea who Draco Malfoy is, email me and you can have my balls. You deserve them.

4. Friday night, while you were out drinking and forgot about the game like I told you would happen on Thursday, USF's freshman kicker nailed a 43 yard field goal to beat Kansas. This was the game of the weekend and you forgot about it even though you spent all day Thursday trying to remind yourself not to forget. You suck. See, alcohol does kill brain cells.

5. South Carolina and Georgia. I listened to this game driving back from UAB-Tennessee on Saturday. It was impossible to find for at least an hour. Why are football game so impossible to find on the radio? Anyway, biggest question of the day, why is Spurrier shuttling in Stephen Garcia at all? I don't get this. Smelley is on his way to throwing for 300 yards and you bring in a redshirt freshman who has already been charged with 19 felonies since he arrived on campus. Including keying a professor's car? He proceeds to take two sacks. Mind-boggling.

6. Biggest upset of the week: Maryland over Cal. Cal was a 16 point favorite. Maryland lost to Middle Tennessee state last weekend. Yet, get a 12:00 kickoff rolling, get Cal's players out of bed at roughly 4 in their morning their time, and things can fall apart in a hurry. Why don't Pac-10 teams insist on later kickoffs when they travel all the way across the country? This is the only thing I'd be concerned about the contract. Write it in there and then sign. Or set the return game for 1 in the morning east coast time. But even that isn't really effective because college kids would prefer this anyway. So, basically, if you're from the west coast you have to refuse to play in this game.

7. Speaking of MTSU, you probably haven't seen how Kentucky's game against MTSU ended because it was on something called the Big Blue Network and Tim Couch was taking a break from having sex fourteen times on Saturday to call the game. In fact, when you watch the footage below you'll note that the Big Blue Network managed to miss the actual tipped-ball catch. Setting the scene, less than thirty seconds remain and UK is leading 20-14. They've lined up to attempt a field goal that will ice the game. Enjoy.

Kentucky fans still haven't recovered from this. Almost LSU redux. I still have no idea how the Kentucky db reacted so quickly to make this tackle inside the one. Thankfully the camera man wasn't responsible for deep coverage.

8. One note on the UT-UAB game, for the first time in my life the UT crowd booed players. Up until five years ago you didn't hear booing of any sort at the game. No matter what the result was. And there were some bad results. Both Jonathan Cromption and tight end Luke Stocker (whose hands appeared to be made of granite and lack finger extensions were loudly booed during the third quarter). I don't get this at all. Anytime you boo college athletes, I think it's incredibly stupid. But the booing of college athletes in the second game of the season during a game they're winning? That's Florida Gator fan-level cluelessness there. Is it spreading?

9. The Mississippi State-Auburn game finished with a 3-2 score. That's only happened six times in college football hstory and only once in the past 50 years. It was televised on ESPN-2 and redefined the term "slugfest." If you've ever wondered what football in 1932 looked like, you should have watched this game. But here's the deal, Sly Croom made the dumbest decision of the week. Why in the world did he choose to go for a 4th and 15 late? When his offense hadn't even converted a single third down of any distance all game? Especially when he had the opportunity to try and pin Auburn deep and allow his defense to go for either another safety or at least force Auburn to punt from their end zone? This decision was baffling to me. It's fairly rare you see a coach make a decision this dumb. Ever.

10. UCLA gave up 59 points to BYU. Two weeks ago my team lost to UCLA. This week we play Florida. I can't explain how unsettling this is. I know the transitive property doesn't work in sports, but, still, uh oh. By the way, if you're doubting whether or not USC is going to run the table in the Pac-10 this year, Arizona, Arizona State, Washington State, Washington, Stanford, Cal and UCLA all lost non-conference games this weekend. And Oregon needed overtime to beat the 6th or 7th best Big Ten school, Purdue.

11. Vandy is now 3-0. They beat Rice behind the fleet feet of their white running back, Jared Hawkins. The white running back is the story of this year's college football season. Michigan has one, UCLA started one, and I'm sure there are others. Of course two of these three teams looked inept on offense, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence. Yep, 2008 is the year of the white running back. But, lest we all forget, injury to fat men on your football team, are just a play away. And if this happens, college kids will reenact the injury.

8. UVa at UConn (-12.5)- Remember how Al Groh was supposed to revitalize Cavs football? Yeah, those dreams have long since passed. Now dontfirealgroh.com gets more and more frustrating each week. Already Cavs fans are rooting for the good ole days when their players were being arrested at gay bars to return. But has it really gotten to the point where a UConn team that scored 12 points on Temple, Temple!, opens as a favorite by more than 12 over Virginia? Yep, that time has come. UVa beat UConn last year 17-16. But you have to take UVa with that spread, right?

7. Oregon (-8) at Purdue- This game will take 5 hours to play and end with a score of something like 56-49. The new college football rules designed to shorten the game have no prayer of helping here. Joe Tiller is the most reliably average of all Big Ten coaches. He's good for 7 or 8 wins a year (10 bowl games in 11 seasons) and will inevitably have at least a single game in September that makes you think Purdue might be a factor. Then, they aren't. Unless it's sleeting and his mustache freezes. Then, you have to watch.

Oregon is probably USC's most legit challenger in the Pac-10 and no one has mentioned them all season. Why? Because as much as the Pac-10 complains about a lack of media attention on the East Coast, the only Pac-10 teams that get any West Coast media attention are in major markets in California.

The most interesting thing about this game? Both teams had a bye coming in. Why? (Note, evidently this is not true. Both teams actually played games; Purdue-Northern Colorado and Oregon-Utah State. Even still, I stand by my bye week statement.) The second most interesting thing about this game, Oregon is traveling to Indiana for a football game. Again, why? This is one of those cross-regional games that makes no sense. Does Purdue bring in northwest recruits? No. Does Oregon hit up Indiana for players? No. Have Purdue and Oregon fans been clamoring for this match-up? No. So, why play? Just so the Pac-10 and the Big 10 can play another game on the same day as USC-Ohio State that no one on earth will remember? Brilliant.

But look at all the pretty touchdowns.

6. Auburn (-10.5) at Miss. State- Last year Miss. State and Sylvestor Croom found a way to beat Auburn at Auburn. Now, Auburn has a new quarterback, a new offensive coordinator, a new defensive coordinator, has looked mediocre in two wins thus far and they are favored by two scores in a road game. This makes zero sense to me. Granted State has looked horrible, but even when State wins they look horrible. How could you not take MSU here? I'll tell you, if Croom makes the mistake of scheduling the team fieldtrip to the only escalator in Starkville on the Friday before this game. Last year three starters were injured trying to walk the "magic stairs."

5. Oklahoma (-20) at Washington- Can you imagine what will happen if the officials, feeling sorry for Washington's excessive celebration penalty last week, blow another call on the west coast in favor of a Pac-10 school against Oklahoma. I'm rooting for this to happen just to see Bob Stoops storm the field and choke the head ref to death with his headset cord. Otherwise the Ty Willingham death march is likely to continue.

4. Michigan (-2) at Notre Dame- The fact that Michigan is favored in this game speaks volumes about Jimmy Clausen's hair. Because if you've watched Michigan's offense thus far they look like Australian aboriginees being instructed in how to build websites without first learning to read. Yet, amazingly, the over/under on this game is 37. How? The score of this game is going to be 13-10 Michigan and after it's over, Charlie Weis's amazingly invisible crotch is going to be soiled. But not for long. Immediately after he soils himself, Notre Dame fans will arrive to lick up his mess. All the while exclaiming, "Oh, yeah, Ty Willingham's the one who really blows. This isn't a blow job, this is just a European crotch cleaning."

3. Kansas at South Florida (-3.5)- This game is actually being played on Friday which means 99% of college football fans are going to think, man that sounds like a good game. Only the game will already have been played before we realize it's going on. Which is a shame because Kansas's Mark Mangino and USF's Jim Leavitt are the two angriest coaches on the sideline not named Mike Gundy. Kansas hasn't lost since John Brown's Raid but South Florida is favored at home. Anyone who tells you they have any idea what's going to happen in this game is a fool. USF is the moderately attractive girl of college football. Except she's bipolar. One party she's ski-polling two guys while sitting on the drier, the next weekend she's worn a navy pantsuit to the party and is crying into her Cranberry Diet Mike's Hard Lemonade. I'm sure this is tough to take for USF fans.

Hopefully for Mark Mangino's sake he'll avoid having his picture taken alongside oranges this time.

2. Georgia (-7.5) at South Carolina- Steve Spurrier is reverting to 1994 and plans on alternating between his two quarterbacks, Smelley and Beecher. Neither of them is any good and they're probably not going to be able to throw bubble screens to wide receiver Kenny McKinley, who has an injured hamstring. Meanwhile, Georgia comes into town incensed because Mark May didn't invite Knowshon Moreno onto the set and let him demonstrate his great leaping ability by tea-bagging Lou Holtz. Also, former Georgia defensive end David Pollack is now a member of the CBS announcing team. In what capacity, I'm not sure. There's a strong part of me that wants his only role to be high-skipping into the press box while barking with Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson walking calmly behind him.

This game may be the last chance Steve Spurrier has to prove he's still relevant. Otherwise he sinks to 1-7 in his last 8. It's also one of two early SEC East games (the other is Florida-UT) where every other SEC East fanbase needs to be rooting for the underdog to win so chaos rules in the SEC East.

1. Ohio State (-11.5) at USC- Too much has been said about this game already. And the most interesting question, hasn't even been answered. How much does USC have to beat Ohio State (sans Beanie) by to guarantee that Ohio State has no chance to play in the BCS title game? 30? 40? I'm interested in the number because I really have no idea.

The picture there (courtesy of The Derek Bell Yacht Co.) is of the marquee at the venue they were playing yesterday afternoon. The band's name was taken off and replaced with "God Bless Bo." Probably a good idea.

The rise and fall of the Dead Schembechlers has been pretty surreal. And when Schembechler died yesterday, it looked like the band was in a tough spot, and any future appearances would be awkward, to say the least, and could possibly get them killed. But they took it in stride and handled it with as much grace and class as possible. They're more likable now than they were before—and it was impossible not to like any band with a song entitled, ""Schembechler Kicked My Crippled Dog."

Bo's namesake punk group to disband [Detroit Free Press]
R.I.P. Bo Schembechler [The Derek Bell Yacht Co.]