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What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...

Blake Griffin Interrupted The Crenshaw Choir To Jump Over A Kia
Your morning roundup for Feb. 20, the day autistic children surpass problem gamblers once and for all....

Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...

Study: NHL Players with Bigger Heads Spend More Time in the Penalty Box
Honestly, this is a study. Thanks to the the fine people at Brock University in St. Catherine's, Ontario we know that NHL players with fat heads spend more time in the penalty box. How? Evidently head width runs the gamut from the skinny (1.6) to the unusually wide (2.3). By studying the profile pi...

Not Even Zook Can Help The Illini
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....