Kansas is No. 1 in the first college basketball poll and apparently first in insane full back tattoos. This isn't even the only outrageous Jayhawk-themed tattoo on this KU Sports page right now, as a commenter entered the fray with her own bleeding Kansas tribute. The things we do for the love of hoops.

Seriously, this young lass must really care about her Jayhawks to sit still long enough to have the Bayeux Tapestry of Midwest hoops painted on her shoulder blades. Unfortunately, she's out for the rest of the season after deciding to get that Danny Manning tattoo on her knee cap.

[Photo via KUsports.com]

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There will be peace when Friday is done.

David Puddy approves. You know, if he were a real person and not a character played by Patrick Warburton on a sit-com.

Still, you have to reluctantly admire this misguided fellow's dedication to his obviously beloved New Jersey Devils. I suppose at least he's not painting his face.

In the interest of total disclosure, I once contemplated getting a Minnesota Vikings tattoo way back in 1998, when the Purple were on their way to a 15-1 season that culminated in utter disappointment in the NFC Championship game. Ugh. Thankfully, despite being young, dumb and full of rum, I chose wisely and elected not to get said tattoo. How stupid would I have felt when the Vikings move to Los Angeles in a couple of years? Governor Schwarzenegger is now a sworn enemy of the Weed household.

But enough about me. Of course, this is Weed Against Speed and I will be your humble host today here on Deadspin. Please send in any tips you might have and if you have a question for me personally, would like to anonymously tell me that I suck, or better yet, have some suggestions,you can e-mail me at weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

Alrighty then. Let's keep it light and have some fun today.

It's time for a little breezin', people.

Thanks to John for the pic tip.

Yep, it took me some 30-odd years to break down and get inked, but I finally did and went with the ole fleur-de-lis to show solidarity with my heritage and favorite pro football team. I figure that even if Tom Benson moves the team to LA in 5 years to play in the soon-to-be-built Ed Hardy stadium, it's something I won't regret having when I'm an old man, unlike the Tweety Bird tattoos my high school friends all got on their ankles way back when. Daulerio, he of the buzzsaw tattoo mere inches from his asshole, tried to talk me out of it on Thursday night, but I was undeterred! So there.

Anyway, I loathe Nick Saban with the intensity of a million white-hot suns and believe Tim Tebow to be the Antichrist. With that said, let's have a lovely Saturday, shall we?

Valtonen, a Finn, rocks a swastika tattoo on his shoulder and the phrase "White Pride" across his back, because, you see, when he was young and foolish (or so he claims), he didn't much care for minorities. Only no one in the States knew it, because pesky league officials required Valtonen to cover the tattoos with patches (pinkos)! But that all changed when those patches fell off during a recent HDNet fight, exposing to the world — in high-def, no less — how Valtonen really feels about all those other races. Oops!

MMA Fighter Toni Valtonen Has Swastika, 'White Pride' Tattoos [Fanhouse]

These are the kinds of people you run into when you attend a Bear-sponsored motorcycle rally. (This is from Ruben Brown's Motorcycle Run, a charity ride for the Salvation Army.) The man's name is Glenn Timmermann, who apparently gets any current Bear and former Bear—and maybe a few Bad News Bears—that he's ever met to autograph his body and then he turns it into a tattoo. He's also not a fan of shirts.

I can understand the Ditka tat (sorta; not really) and maybe even the big Chicago "C" on the back of the head. But Tom Thayer? Shaun Gayle? Is there any Bear who isn't off the table? Paul Edinger? Erik Kramer? You have to draw the line at Sauerbrun, don't you? Or is that line already running down your thigh?

Ruben Brown's Motorcycle Run keeps on rollin' [Sports Pros(e)]

Let's call this a Deleted-Deleted Scenes, but it is Saturday afternoon and there is no better time to spread ridiculous rumors than the present, so we'll get right to it. The first e-mail from a Los Angeles denizen, who is concerned about the New York Jets' character assessment of Mr. Sanchez.

Wow, Mark Sanchez is so handsome, well spoken, and just seems to impress everyone he meets, even pessimistic New Yorkers! He even looks like The Hoff and Jim Plunkett's love child. He's so perfect!

Errr.....{record scratch}

Breaking news:

This just in...Mark Sanchez has a tattoo of "Sanchez" on the inside of his lower lip. That's right, the inside of his lower lip. JEBUS! Either this demonstrates his "Hunkett" man-god toughness or how stupid he actually is. I'll side with the latter. NFL QBs are supposed to be good decision-makers right?

How do I know? First of all, I live in LA. You know we all know celebs. Secondly, the story of how I came about this knowledge is sort of personal (especially for Dirty Sanchez) . If you need additional details feel free to contact me and I will provide them.

And how on Gang Green earth could I pass up such a delightful invitation for lascivious accusations pertaining to the young man? My job is to wade through the horseshit and hearsay of these pressing matters that tenuously hold together the fabric of our fan-dom!

Unfortunately, the emailer ask that I keep the specifics of the details very hazy and off-record due to the nature of his friendship with an individual who was allegedly doggy-styled in the shower by Mr. Sanchez a couple of years ago. (Yes, it was a girl. Hooray.) It was some time during the vigorous copulation that she managed to inspect the inside of his lower lip, revealing the offensive "SANCHEZ" tattoo. Now, we all know a secret that's been safely guarded for years by Sanchez's dental hygienist and also the many ladies who've been lucky enough to be back-hammered by the former USC quarterback during his college days. Sports fans, consider yourselves wizened.

PHOTO: ObsessedWithSports

Stop the insanity.

Not to say Boston fans are frontrunners, but where's the Bruins component here? I'd have much more respect for this guy if that tattoo depicted Boston College, the New England Revolution and Lowell Spinners. More examples here. Your move, Steelers/Pirates/Penguins fans.

Does This Calf Tattoo Get This Guy Laid Part Deux [Barstool Sports]
There Should Be A Law Against Patriots Fans Getting Tattoos [Fan IQ]

You may recognize the half-naked man on the left as LeBron James, cager extraordinaire. His well-known tattoo reads "Chosen1", presumably because he will ascend to heaven this Sunday. The puffy-haired rapscallion on the right is LBJ's teammate, Cavs forward Anderson Varejao. His tattoo reads "Chosen2" and was applied with magic marker in a bit of NBA practice hijinks. Grown men drawing on each other with magic markers? This is a story that is truly....gay as Easter.

Anderson Varejao inked up as Chosen2 [Shaver Sports]

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It's Easter weekend. Get drunk, eat a ham, dye some eggs (PAAS!). The wayward Dashiell Bennett will be your host tomorrow, so I expect everyone right back here in the morning.

PAAS!

The provocatively posed woman in a Steelers Jersey is one thing. Bring Kicker Jeff Reed's smiley-faced autograph into it and it reaches a whole new level of sleaziness. Add in the location in the small of the back and, well, you got yourself a real Steeltown Vixen. I believe they actually call that a PSAMP stamp.

(Photo: Courtesy of SteelyMcStupid)

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Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. And thank you for sending me the information about the Metallica tickets on StubHub. We're cool.

Meet Fredy Gutierrez, an Arizona Cardinals fan who is poor of pocketbook but really wanted to see his beloved Cardinals play the Eagles. So in steps radio station 620 KTAR of Phoenix to help him out. The station provides tickets for Gutierrez and his nine-year-old son, Marcus, and all is well. Oh, there's one condition: He has to get the station's call letters tattooed on his ass.

"The only thing I can say is that I hope that my son enjoys it," Gutierrez said about the game.

You remember KTAR, home of the "Gambo & Ash" show. These are the guys who got into it with Charles Barkley in June of last year, with somewhat amusing results. Barkley's quote:

"The thing you have to understand about Phoenix is it's like a Jim Jones cult. They have a lot of jackass reporters there."

And fans as well. Gutierrez must live the remainder of his life with advertising on his ass; the poor sap doesn't even get a Cardinal or a power tool implement to remind him of his team's victory. Sad, really.

Guess That Ass Tattoo Was Worth It [Larry Brown Sports]
He Did What? [KTAR.com]

If Fox News really wants to do some investigative reporting that will benefit the community, they'll call social services on this guy for subjecting those two innocent young children to a lifetime of Honolulu Blues. You should be better then your father, kids. Join a book club that only meets on Sunday afternoons.

Lions Fan Gets 0-16 Tattoo [Video via Fox Detroit]

Probably to cover up for the fact that she can't have wet dreams about Steely McBeam anymore. Now that everyone on earth but me has a tattoo, will old people in the future who don't have tattoos be the exception? Deep thoughts.

Until then just keep staring into the smoldering gaze of "Aunt" Agnes Falls.

Steely McGramma [Blog N Gold]

Sometimes people think Southerners are weird. Then I link to pictures of guys like Nate Davis who want full-back tattoos to establish their college football fandom and you can rapidly tell we're just like everyone else. Only we drink more. To cover up the pain from our backs being covered in ink.

I mean, who hasn't wanted to get the year their university was founded put on their back for their entire lives? See, we're all about education down here.

Clemson Fan Owns the Alabama Super Fan [deepsouthsports]

Miller has had some complaints about his tatoos — opposing batters have complained that the numerous clowns and fairies and knives or whatever running down his left arm are distracting — but that's not stopping him from getting more and more ink. He's even got pitcher Billy Koch's name tattooed on his ass. And, even though Miller's already got one pitcher's name on his ass, Marlins' pitcher Scott Olsen wanted to stake his own claim of buttock real estate:

Marlins pitcher Scott Olsen, who had been pulled over by Florida police the previous summer and charged with DUI before allegedly being shocked with a taser, approached Miller with a proposition of his own. “He wants me to get his mug shot tattooed on my ass. I don't think that's going to work,” says Miller. “I don't think my wife wants to see Olsen's picture there. So we're not going to go with that.”

What happened to team unity?

Justin Miller Profile [Inked]

If you can stomach the pain, short-term and long-term, you can get a Cowboys tattoo for the opening credits of HBO's "Hard Knocks."

Neither the Cowboys nor HBO will pay for it, it's not their fault if it turns out poorly, you have to be "physically fit" and ... you have to be a white guy. Not a bad gig for half a second of air time. Worth looking into.

Free Cowboys Tattoo. Any Takers? [Merkin Sports]

Patrick Tribett of Ohio was nabbed for "abusing harmful intoxicants." Hey, at least he huffed in team colors. (That one was from The Smoking Gun, actually).

Mugshotdujour.com
It Ain't Just Paint [The Smoking Gun]

He went into Sunday night's big game hoping for another Patriots Super Bowl victory — an achievement that had him thinking of tattooing the Vince Lombardi Trophy on the top of his head. He said he still loves the team and Brady, but expressed some frustration that their intensity didn't seem to be at the same level as the Giants. Like many, he questioned whether Brady's girlfriend — Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen — might have been a distraction during the times that came between the AFC Championship and the Super Bowl. "Brady was playing with his old lady all week," said Thompson as he slumped in a chair and recalled the game.

Other things about Victor you may not know:

• Other tattoo, on his ass: Disco Will Never Die.

• Donated $1,000 to Fred Thompson Presidential campaign.

• Has huge collection of eight-track tapes.

• Extensive real estate holdings on Krakatoa, East of Java.

• Has Mets season tickets.

For One Pats' Fan, It Was A Night To Remember, For All The Wrong Reasons [Laconia Citizen]
Supermodels Not Included [Deadspin]