Texas Tech and Mike Leach have finally agreed to a contract extension after more than 10 months of negotiations, keeping the football coach at the school through 2013, a source with knowledge of the talks told The Dallas Morning News on Thursday.

Leach met with Tech chancellor Kent Hance for almost three hours Thursday afternoon and the two sides have agreed to Tech's $12.7 million offer that will extend Leach's current two-year deal three more seasons. The contract hasn't been signed, but that could take place as early as Friday, the source said.

At the heart of the nearly year-long standoff between Leach and the university were four contract clauses, three of which had to do with early termination/departure.The school had given him a Tuesday deadline to sign the contract, but as we writers all know, deadlines are for mocking, not making.

Anyway, party tonight in Lubbock.

Texas Tech, Mike Leach Agree On Contract Extension [Dallas Morning News]

Harrell's made some news lately because he's become a little too yappy about the future of his head coach, Mike Leach. Last week, Harrell spouted off to the AP that he thought Leach would ditch Texas Tech after this season, but has quickly backpedaled. But he still thinks his coach, wherever he goes, will be very rich man:

"They're going to have to pay him a lot of money, as anyone will at this point...[H]e does more with less than anyone in the country. He can't go hand-choose his recruits like the USCs, the Oklahomas and the Texases. He has to really work at recruiting, get some less-talented players and develop them."

For sure. Look what he did with this naive boy dressed in a black, gift-covered cardigan?

Harrell thinks Leach will stay at Texas Tech [SI]

In the ultimate irony of college football, wouldn't we all like the sport better if we outsourced the college football playoff to Las Vegas? Yes, yes we would.

1." Did they block the Lions game out again?" (I say I have no idea that I'm from Nashville and just landed in Michigan.) "Oh well, it doesn't matter. Fuck the Lions. I'd rather watch whoever else is playing anyway."

2." The Lions are up 17-0? Damn. Wonder how long it will take them to lose that lead?"

3. "Do you care if we change the channel for just a sec. to see what they're saying about the auto bailout?"

4. "You're from Tennessee? I wish Rodriguez would move to Tennessee and die."

5. "Did you know Ford had to buy the Thanksgiving game tickets this year because no one was buying them? They're selling them to employees for $30 each. I heard no one is buying them even though that's less than half what they actually cost. Boy, when I was a kid that Thanksgiving game was the best."

So be thankful you aren't a sports fan from Michigan. And if you are a sports fan from Michigan? Yeah, sorry, you're screwed. On to the college football round-up.

Oklahoma toasted Texas Tech. Just one day after I announced I had a crush on Mike Leach. This game was kind of like going for a piss, opening the bathroom door, and seeing your crush ski-poling two random guys she met at a fraternity party. Even still, in the great "Will it be, Leach, Brian Kelly, or Lane Kiffin as the next UT coach-debate?", I'm with Leach.

Also, Brent Musberger attempting to pronounce Beyonce's name during the promos for the American Music Awards should put an end to the old-announcers attempt to read promos business. Just put it on the screen. Also, was I the only person who thought that while he discussed the Beyonce mispronunciation Herbstreit was thinking, "I could bang Beyonce if I wanted to." It was the subtext of the entire conversation.

Finally, granted Texas Tech got destroyed, but all they need is an Oklahoma loss on the road at Oklahoma State and they win the tiebreak over Texas head to the Big 12 Title Game. Win that and wouldn't it be hard to put Texas in above them in the BCS Title Game?

Washington State wins in overtime over Washington. The only thing better than a game between two teams who have combined for one win? An overtime game that ends with one team missing a short field goal and the other team making one.

Penn State contributed to the continued collapse of Michigan's self-esteem by beating the only decent team in the state. We've spent enough time on this. Congrats to Penn State on their first Rose Bowl in 14 years. Condolences on Joe Pa announcing he's returning for a 44th season. Meanwhile, Michigan was destroyed by Ohio State to put a merciful end to their season. The Terrelle Pryor Rich Rod picture will never die.

Charlie Weis is a genius! Did anyone else see the snowballs that someone threw right after the missed field goal at the end of Notre Dame's loss to Syracuse? Was this supposed to be a celebratory snowball? Because somehow that snowball bursting open when it landed on the field was the perfect metaphor for the Weis era at Notre Dame. Well, okay, not as good of a metaphor as Weis getting wrecked on the sideline against Michigan, but close.

Also, how many more years does NBC Sports have to pretend they still have a sports department by showing Notre Dame games? Remember back when NBC Sports had the NBA and the NFL? Doesn't that seem like it never happened now? I know NBC has Sunday Night Football, but there's something about their sports coverage that seems wistful for 1988. Even down to the dark, Seinfeld-esque color schemes in their telecasts. Not as wistful as Notre Dame fans are for 1988 or in believing that Urban Meyer will leave Florida to come be their coach, but close.

Tennessee beat Vanderbilt despite passing for only 22 yards. We didn't complete a pass in the entire first half. Four different people played quarterback for Tennessee. Only one of them completed a pass (unless you count Jonathan Crompton's interception on his only pass attempt). There's no existing film from UT's games back in the 1930's. Now, at least I have an idea what the offense would have looked like in person.

Oregon State is a win over Oregon away from their first Rose Bowl since 1965. Lucky for the Rose Bowl that game would be a rematch. This is perfect. Anyone who favors a college football playoff should root for the Rose Bowl to get screwed every year. The bastards think their single game is more important than the rest of college football. Enjoy.

Maryland controlled their own destiny in the and got waxed by Florida State; Miami had the Atlantic Division wrapped up and got destroyed as well. Now I think Boston College controls their own fate. So if they beat Maryland, they're in. But if they lose Florida State is in. So at least there's some finality there. Same with Virginia Tech, win and they're in. Swell, a rematch between two teams that were better last year. To see who gets waxed by another team in the BCS.

Cincinnati and Brian Kelly are headed to the BCS provided they can get the win over Syracuse. Did anyone else think Erin Andrews was slamming the Cincinnati fans every time she did a sideline report. At least twice she pointed out that the fans weren't excited enough. I think this was her revenge for being sent to a night game in Cincinnati in November.

Utah beat BYU and is now 12-0. They're up to number 6 in the BCS standings. What's the route to the BCS Title Game for Utah? I'll tell you. Alabama loses to Auburn, Florida loses to Florida State then beats Alabama in the SEC Title Game. Oklahoma loses to Oklahoma State, Texas Tech loses to Baylor, and Texas loses to Missouri in the Big 12 Title Game. Then, I think, Utah would play USC for the BCS Championship. See, Ute fans, the BCS is an infallible and fair system. You've got a shot too!

• Syracuse pulled off a big upset on Saturday with a last minute touchdown pass to beat Notre Dame 24-23. Looks like it might be time for Charlie Weiss to dust of his resume. The winning touchdown pass was thrown by Syracuse's Cameron Dantley, who happens to be the son of Notre Dame basketball legend Adrian Dantley. Funny how that worked out, huh? And it seems like the Notre Dame students took it personally:

"The Irish players were pelted by snowballs on the sideline for much of the first quarter by fans sitting on the student section. Defensive end Ethan Johnson was struck on the left cheek and several other players also getting hit by snowballs despite three announcement urging fans to stop."

Future Jets fans, ladies and gentlemen.

• Penn State has earned their first Rose Bowl bid with a decisive 49-18 win Saturday over Michigan State. Joe Paterno confirmed his belief that he's returning and apparently, he thinks contracts are for pansies.

"I'm planning on coming back, yeah," Paterno said. "I never planned otherwise. Everyone's making a big deal that I don't have a contract signed. I've never even asked to do that."

Indeed.

You know how it is, one moment you’re drinking beers as fast as you can to try and make the memories of Tennessee’s loss to Wyoming disappear and the next moment you look up and watch Texas Tech score touchdown after touchdown against Oklahoma State. Touchdown after touchdown without their players being touched. I’ll admit it, it was breathtaking, I couldn’t speak. Like being 14 all over again and watching Steve Spurrier’s Fun ‘N Gun offense move up and down the field. One moment I’m contemplating committing hari kari with a bayonet attached to the end of Davy Crockett’s musket and the next minute, I’m imagining the Tennessee River outside Neyland Stadium as one glorious fusillade of pirate ships. Black pirate flags taken over by orange, women dressed in orange-pirated finery-cutlasses sheathed in their orange garters. Maybe even a coach (you, Mike, you!) on the sideline wearing a coonskin cap. It could happen, I'm not just dreaming.

Maybe it’s because we’re both lawyers. Or because we both like pirates. Either way I can tell, I just know, that we’re made for each other, Mike. I didn’t know it in the past. Oh, there were hints, like the Michael Lewis article for the New York Times , our mutual affinity for Daniel Boone, and the fact that you graduated from law school and realized you didn’t want to really be a lawyer. Or even the fact that the first book I ever got specially ordered was Look Out for Pirates.

I’d been obsessed with the book for months, checking it out over and over again at the local Goodlettsville Library. Finally my mom ordered it for me as a birthday present. From Walden Books at Rivergate Mall. Ordering books back in those days was a big deal. I still laugh at all the people who complain about Barnes&Noble and Borders killing independent booksellers. Please. When I grew up Walden Books was the only bookstore within twenty miles of my house. They had like forty-five books in the entire store and 18 of them had to do with cooking. (The other 27 were Bible reading-guides.) Getting a decent book was a laborious process. After weeks of asking your mom if the book was here yet, you got a telephone call, your book had arrived!

That day I walked into Rivergate Mall in Goodlettsville, Tennessee positively giddy with excitement. There it was, my very own book. Wrapped in brown-paper behind the desk. The employee handed it to me and I ripped it open. The glorious blue cover, the swords, the pirates, the sunken treasure. It was all pretty spectacular. Just like your offense Mike, just like your offense.

And now, I can’t help but hope we’ve come full circle. I’m rooting for you to lose Mike, but it’s nothing personal. Come Saturday night I’ll be hunkered down in front of my flat-screen television. I’m cutting out pictures of you and drawing hearts on them, Mike. My wife won't let me put them on the ceiling but I'm keeping them in a trapper-keeper by my nightstand.

Oh, and I’m not wearing any pants during the game. I hope you don’t mind. Pants are just so constricting. You’re the dreamiest, Mike, the dreamiest.

Would you be mine, could you be mine, won't you be, my pirate?

Coughs.

I might have gotten a little carried away there. On to the breakdown of the rest of the most intriguing games of the weekened.

Michigan at Ohio State (-21)- Rich Rod doesn't want to you watch this game. He thinks you suck because you care so much about a stupid football game. Why don't you go repair cleft palates or circumcise babies or give all your time and effort to ending the discord between Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq? That's what Rich Rod does every morning. As soon as he finishes internet hunting with the click of a mouse (I have no idea why but I'm convinced Rich Rod is big on internet hunting), he hops in a plane, flies to Africa and spends the day digging wells in the fetid heat. Without even taking his malaria pills. And all you people want him to do is win football games? You sicken Rich Rod, sicken him.

Seriously though, wouldn't it be great if Michigan boosters filed suit on behalf of West Virginia to try and enforce the original West Virginia contract and send Rich Rod back to Morgantown? Even if the suit immediately got dismissed because there was no privity of contract, I think this would be a great move by a Michigan-fan lawyer.

Washington (-7) at Washington State- Signs your football team is in disarray: your most hated rival comes to your house to play, they have not won a game all season, have fired their coach, and...Washington is still favored by a touchdown. That's low, really low. You know what's lower? Washington has a bye week after this game before they play Cal. So the entire team has to sit around for another week and wait to finish out the season by getting the shit kicked out of them. Remember when the bully yelled he was going to kick your ass just as the bus pulled away to begin Thanksgiving break, and then you spent all of Thanksgiving terrified because you knew the bully meant it? Washington's bye week before Cal is the college football version.

Michigan State at Penn State (-15.5)- Penn State wins the Big Ten with a victory here. Is it just me or since the Iowa loss is it like Penn State doesn't even exist anymore? If you'd told Penn State fans before the season started they'd win the Big Ten, they'd have been ecstatic. Now, they're kicking snow drifts and hoping that Iowa kicker dies of lockjaw.

Meanwhile, Michigan State might be the only bright spot in the entire state of Michigan. The auto companies are imploding, Michigan and the Lions are a combined 3-18, AI isn't working for the Pistons, it's fucking cold, and no one has enough money for Christmas. And now the Spartans are going to get kicked in the teeth as a prelude for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to arrive on Sunday afternoon.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (-6)- Last night while I was watching Georgia Tech rush for 472 yards, 472! (They passed for 46. That stat-line is like something from 1954. If you're Miami do you just burn the tape from this game?), I kept seeing the score for Pitt and Cincinnati flashing on the screen. For about five minutes I thought this game was taking place on Thursday Night and I was trying to figure out how I'd missed this fact. Then I remembered the NFL was back on Thursdays again and that for six weeks out of the year Rich Eisen was relevant. (Isn't it funny how much the NFL Network overhypes the Thursday night game after it's over? It's the only reason the network exists. It's really kind of pathetic. They remind me of the kid I knew in elementary school who took a family vacation to Fort Campbell, Kentucky and spent the next year telling everyone stats about Fort Campbell.)

Anyway, Cincy wins the Big East if they win this game. Lose and the championship will come down to Pitt.-West Virginia. The internet is alive with rumors that Brian Kelly will be the new coach at UT. I don't buy it. But if he is, here's a tip for the rest of the SEC, we just hired a coach who married a woman named Paqui. Do with this what you must.

Tennessee at Vanderbilt (-3.5)- Vanderbilt has never been favored over Tennessee in recorded history. I'll be there writing a book. Another fun fact, Tennessee and Ohio State are the only two schools to never have lost 8 games in a football season. Vandy is favored to make this the worst season in the history of Tennessee. Yep, this is my life.

Oregon State at Arizona (-2.5)- Oregon State's march towards their first Rose Bowl since 1965 continues...maybe. Don't you know that Mike Riley stays awake at night watching film from their opening game of the season, a 36-28 Thursday night loss at Stanford? Win that game and all he'd have to do is split his final two to end up in the Rose Bowl. Oregon State has won 8 of the last 9 over Arizona. Can they make it 9 of 10? The 'Hoff hopes not.

Florida State (-1) at Maryland- If Maryland wins they retain control of the Atlantic Division. If they lose...who the fuck knows. Remember when you played little league and every kid had to bat? Even the kid who used his baseball cap as the fin on the shark he made out of dirt in the dugout? Yeah, whoever wins the ACC is officially this kid in the BCS.

Utah (-7) v. BYU- True or false, Utah is the Beehive State? Utah is currently #7 in the BCS and can complete a perfect regular season with a win over BYU. Something they haven't done since 2005. You'd think this will get them in the BCS. Hopefully against Cincinnati. So ESPN can do the math and realize they just paid $20 million for this game. That's more than Pam Ward's penis cost.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma (-6.5)- I can't wait to watch this game. No matter what happens you know this game is going to be entertaining. Bradford and Harrell, Crabtree and Iglesias. It's like Christmas in November. Only with more alcohol and less pants.

Cincinnati (-4) at Louisville- The Bearcats win the Big East if they can win on the road tonight at Louisville and then next week at home against Pitt. Yeah, Cincinnati might be in a BCS bowl. Prior to this the best bowl Cincinnati has ever been in is the PapaJohns Bowl. What's more they've only been to 10 bowl games in their history. Should be interesting to see how the team responds.

Miss. State at Alabama (-22)- Chances are you had no idea that Miss. State has beaten Alabama two consecutive years. And that in those two years Alabama hasn't scored an offensive touchdown. But they have. So that means Alabama probably isn't overlooking this opponent one week after they clinched the SEC West. Except, you know, this game is slotted between LSU and Auburn. Of course State also hasn't won a road game yet this season but, even still, this spread seems a bit high. Right? Especially since Alabama hasn't beaten any SEC team by more than 20 since the middle of September. But that's not stopping the Houndstooth twins, Maegen and Ashley Bailey, from remaining steadfast in their support.

Texas (-14) at Kansas- The year after their magical season the human blimp that is Mangino has returned to earth. At just 6-4, Kansas has lost every big game they've played this year, including 3 of their last 4 overall. Now Kansas has Texas and Missouri left on the schedule. Could Texas be ripe for the upset in Lawrence? If Kansas is going to have any kind of season worth remembering they have to win one of these final two. Otherwise they'll slink into a bowl at 6-6 and fans will have to convince themselves that 2007 actually happened. Don't worry, it did. We have the picture to prove it.

Meanwhile, Texas can't just win. They've got to slaughter Kansas and then sit back next weekend and root for Oklahoma to beat Texas Tech by 1. So it all comes down to the BCS standings to see who represents the Big 12 South in a three-way tie.

South Carolina at Florida (-23)- Steve Spurrier's headed back to the Swamp for the second time. In 2006, it took a blocked field goal on the final play of the game to preserve Florida's chance to play for a national championship. Now the Gators look unstoppable. But doesn't that line seem a bit high considering South Carolina has the best defense in the SEC? I think so. But then, Florida's offense has looked truly unstoppable for the past month. What would the over/under be in a hypothetical Florida/Big 12 Champion be? 85? Maybe.

Notre Dame (-4) at Navy- Remember way back when Notre Dame signed Charlie Weis to a 58 year contract extension and a few people questioned whether that was smart? And then Notre Dame fans got all upset and ripped anyone who didn't want to buy the lard from Charlie's gastric bypass surgery on eBay? Yeah, good job picking your battles. Weis's coaching record is worse than Bob Davie's. Navy has a winning record and is coming off a win at Notre Dame last year. Could Notre Dame really lose to Navy twice in a row?

Utah (-30) at San Diego State- As soon as they win this game Utah will be 11-0 and only have a home game remaining against BYU to complete a perfect regular season. Admit it, you don't care because they aren't in a Big 6 conference. God, you suck. Almost as much as San Diego State sucks. But not quite.

Ohio State (-9.5) at Illinois- One year after Ron Zook took Illinois to the Rose Bowl, he's got to beat Ohio State or Northwestern to be bowl eligible. Since September 13 Illinois has alternated wins with losses. Last week they lost. Can they take down Ohio State for the second year in a row?

Cal at Oregon State (-3)- The conspiracy to refuse to acknowledge that Oregon State remains on track to win the Pac-10 continues for yet another week. Oregon State has three games left and is standing at 5-1. Win out and they win the Pac 10 for the first time since 1965. Yet no one is paying attention to this. Except Beaver fans. Which should be everyone but Vince Young.

Georgia (-10) at Auburn- Tommy Tuberville has to beat either Georgia or Alabama to be bowl eligible. Who saw this coming? Tennessee's collapse has sort of sucked the air out of the national story surrounding Auburn. They couldn't really fire Tuberville could they? Last week Matthew Stafford saved the state of Georgia from the most dispiriting autumn since 1864. But there are still a couple of minefields remaining. This is one. Usually, anyway.

North Carolina (-3) at Maryland- Won't someone please win the ACC? In typical ACC fashion this year two new teams control their own destiny this week. If North Carolina wins all they have to do is beat N.C. State and Duke and they win the ACC's Coastal Division. That's simple enough. But if they lose? Who the hell knows. Same thing with Maryland, win their next three games and they win the Atlantic Division. Lose and we're back to being confused. What a mess.

Vandy at Kentucky (-4)- Remember back when Vandy was the feel-good story of college football and had won five games in a row? Yeah, now they've lost four consecutive games when a win could have made them bowl eligible for the first time since 1982. In two of these games, against Duke and Mississippi State, they've been favored to win. They have three games left to get that win. Can it happen in Lexington? If it doesn't you might be witnessing a pretty epic choke job.

1. Mike Leach is Blackbeard. This is how the negotiations should go to make him Tennessee's next coach. a. Rent a dumptruck b. fill dumpruck with cash c. drive dumptruck to Lubbock d. dump money in Leach's front yard. e. repeat until contract is signed. Right now Mike Hamilton should be on eBay trying to buy Blackbeard's sword and then offer to dip it in the blood of a virgin (hint she won't be a Tri-Delt in Knoxville) for signing.

There should be a stat for how often Leach's receivers score touchdowns without being touched. It's uncanny. In fact, I'm making it up right now. Le Leach. That's French for "the Leach." People in Lubbock are very worldly, they'll love this. Here's Le Leach giving the weather.

It's always sunny in Knoxville, Mike, always.

2. Iowa's Daniel Murray hadn't made a field goal since the first game of the season. Then he drilled a 31 yarder to beat Penn State by one. Credit to Iowa's coaching staff for accepting the holding penalty on the next-to-last play for Penn State. They'd stopped Penn State on third down but elected to give them another shot after moving them back ten yards. I was cursing the stupidity of this decision when the Penn State wide receiver came wide open in the middle of the field, but Darryl Clark airmailed it for a pick. Meanwhile, please tell me Daniel Murray didn't play it cool after he made this field goal. I'm hoping he showered, went straight to the sorority house and started clambanging. If he didn't, can we rescind the win?

Right now, you should definitely be thinking to yourself, this guy just clarified the BCS? Yeah, he did.

3. Florida destroyed Vanderbilt. The only time Florida didn't score on their first 7 drives was when the refs inexplicably missed a Percy Harvin touchdown and ruled that he fumbled. You know in horror movies where the villian of the film suddenly realizes he's even more powerful than he ever thought he was? This is Urban Meyer right now. Somewhere there's a hero that can slay him, but I'll be damned if I can find one.

Be honest, if you had to pick a team to win the national championship today, you'd pick Florida, wouldn't you? In later years the fact that Hailey and Hanna Nutt's dad went to Gainesville and won with this Ole Miss team is going to seem even more remarkable than it does now. As for the Alabama-Florida SEC Championship Game, I've got the feeling the folks in Miami are upset their BCS Title game is going to be upstaged a month early.

4, North Carolina is going to win the ACC's Coastal Division...maybe. The Tar Hells smacked around Georgia Tech 28-7. At least that seems somewhat likely. We'll have a better idea after Virginia Tech and Miami play on Thursday night. Win and Virginia Tech will have the tiebreak over North Carolina should both win out. But given the clusterfuck that is the ACC this year, who knows?

5. How has LSU's Jarrett Lee gotten a pass on being the worst quarterback in college football? Lee has 14 interceptions. 14! What's worse than this? 6 of those picks have been returned for touchdowns. God, if only Ryan Perrilloux were still eligible. Only, Perrilloux has 12 interceptions while playing for the Jacksonville State Gamecocks.

On the exact opposite score, how good is Alabama's Julio Jones going to be by the time he's a junior. The NFL mandate that guys stay for at least three years in college makes players like Jones into Gods. Seriously, who is going to cover this guy next year or the year after? If Julio could leave after this season he'd already be a first-round pick. At least there's no history of Alabama receivers getting injured because they couldn't leave early.

And with this hat selection, the number of children born in Alabama named Julio will increase 14,000,000%.

6. Cincinnati goes into Morgantown/Deadwood and wins 26-23 to take the inside track to the Big East's BCS bid. Beat Pitt at home on November 21 and get past Louisville and Syracuse and Cincinnati will be in the BCS. I know, ridiculous, right? Let's be honest, how many years is Bill Stewart going to be at West Virginia? Two years at most?

7. Tennessee lost to Wyoming. I know, I know, I'm really questioning a lot of things about my life right now. One of them is this, say UT's players called every play on offense from inside the huddle by the quarterback sketching the routes on his hand. Could we score more than a touchdown in a game? I'm thinking yes. That offensive coordinator money has been really well spent this year and the Clawfense is appropriately named if only because I'd rather claw my eyes out than watch it any longer.

To help clear the palate, here are two more pictures of Hailey and Hanna rocking the football uniform.

Ohio State (-11) at Northwestern- Who's rooting harder for Ohio State to finish the rest of the season without a blemish than Penn State fans? The answer is no one. Back in 2004 Northwestern upset Ohio State. Fresh off their road upset of Minnesota can Northwestern pull off another shocker? A noon kickoff probably helps. But having intelligent football players probably hurts. Damn.

Georgia Tech at North Carolina (-4)- The ACC is a swamp of mediocrity. Every team in the Coastal Dvision of the ACC already has two losses. The loser of this game will definitely be eliminated from contention. I think. But who really knows? A win and UNC has their first winning season since 2001. Tech's quarterback, Josh Nesbitt, may not be able to play. Enjoy.

Alabama (-3.5) at LSU- - Coming soon, a congressional inquiry into how LSU fans are capable of figuring out football player's cell phone numbers. Two weeks ago Knowshon and Stafford responded to their cell phone numbers being leaked with their best games of the season? Can JPW do the same? Who knows? Better question, how many people in Alabama commit suicide if Bama loses to LSU and then finds a way to lose to an awful Auburn team for the 7th year in a row, meaning they don't even win the SEC West. Over/under is 15. Including the always eloquent Cowboy.

Kansas State at Missouri (-27.5)- The over/under on this game opened at 74. That's truly unbelievable. Well, that and the fact that everyone has written off Missouri as a factor in the national scene. Am I the only one who sees Missouri upsetting the Big 12 South winner in the Big 12 title game? Yeah? Oh well.

Florida (-24) at Vandy- Since losing to Ole Miss 31-30 Florida has outscored their past four SEC opponents 201-43. Included were two top ten wins over Georgia and LSU. That's an average of 50-10. Now they get Vandy. A team that scored 7 points against Duke to lose their third consecutive game. This is going to be incredibly ugly. It's a good thing ESPN picked up this game for national broadcast.

Penn State (-7) at Iowa- Can Penn State stop Iowa's tailback Shon Greene from running? If so, they'll blow Iowa out. If they can't, this game might give Joe Paterno heartburn. That's provided, of course, that he actually realizes what the stakes are for his team that remains slotted at BCS #3. Earlier this week Paterno was confused whether it was BCS or BSC. This is Penn State's last road game.

Arizona (-41) at Washington State- In their last two games Washington State has been outscored 127-0. That's bad. What's worse? In their last five games WSU has been outscored 284-30. WSU's defense averages giving up 49.4 points a game. Is there any doubt that the Washington-Washington State game is going to be the most futile "rivalry" game in the country this year? 1-10 vs. 0-10. I can't wait.

Oklahoma State at Texas Tech (-3)- If you don't really have a rooting interest, don't you have to favor Mike Leach in the BCS Title game? Most coaches are circumspect and reserved. Leach is an insane lawyer who graduated from Pepperdine and, wife and child in tow, took a coaching job for $7,000 a year . By the way, if you haven't read Michael Lewis's profile piece on Leach from three years ago in the New York Times, now is the time to do it. One of the best profiles I've ever read. Sample line: Each off-season, Leach picks something he is curious about and learns as much as he can about it: Geronimo, Daniel Boone, whales, chimpanzees, grizzly bears, Jackson Pollock.

Cal at USC (-22)- Do you ever get the feeling that no matter how much the linemaker installs USC as favorites by the line is going to move higher? And USC is still going to find a way to cover. I'm picturing some sallow-skinned man sitting in front of a bank of computers slowly pulling out his red hair while game film of Pete Carroll strutting down the sideline plays on a constant loop. Yep, it just happened again. USC opened as 17 point favorites and now they're up to 22.

The crowd in Lubbock, Texas had reason to rush the field not once, but twice last night. A last second TD pass from Graham Harrell to Michael Crabtree capped off an amazing comeback win for the no. 7 Red Raiders against the country's top ranked team.

After Colt McCoy gave the Longhorns a 33-32 lead with just over a minute remaining, it looked as though all hope was lost for Texas Tech. Not so. Texas freshman safety Blake Giddeon dropped what would have been a game-ending interception, and that was the fortunate break Tech needed to pull off the stunner.

On the ensuing play, with 8 seconds to go, Harrell reared back and found Crabtree with a 28-yard pass. The All-American wideout caught the ball while being double-covered, fought off a defender and reached the house to give Tech the huge win.

Said Michael Crabtree to the Associated Press following the game:

"On the sideline, I kind of dreamed that I would catch a pass and go in the end zone for a game-winning score. I do that, like every game, but it happened. It kind of shocked me."

If you were shocked, Michael, just think what the Longhorns (who will surely see a fall in the BCS rankings) were feeling. It's now time to look ahead, and with talk starting up about Tech possibly being the best team in the country, coach Mike Leak is keeping his eyes on the prize, and knows what's at stake for his team next weekend.

"Now the biggest game in history is Oklahoma State," Leach said, "or the history of this year, anyway."

Well put, coach.

1. Texas eliminated Missouri from the national stage on Saturday. The Horns were up 35-3 at the half and all those Missouri fans who were convinced that Texas might have a figurative hangover after Oklahoma were busy wondering if Chase Daniel was literally hungover. Three weeks ago I anointed Daniel the Heisman Trophy winner. Maybe that was a bit premature. Now everyone knows Colt McCoy is going to win it. Which probably means he won’t. The void in the Heisman race this year is gargantuan.

2. Maryland beat Wake Forest 26-0. If there is a less consistent team in America than Maryland, I haven’t seen them play all year. Lose to UVA by 31 when you’re favored by 14, beat a top 25 Cal team that you’re double digit underdogs to, lose to Middle Tennessee State by 10, and now bounce back from being shutout to shutout the top team in the ACC. There are no words. I’m picturing a bleary-eyed Ralph Friedgen sitting in front of film from this season’s games,Twinkies flying over his shoulder at warp speed, saying over and over again, “If I just watch long enough it will all make sense.” No, it won’t Coach. It never will.

3. With 6:46 remaining in the third quarter Penn State was tied at 17 with Michigan. Nittany Lions fans were starting to wonder if they were going to find a way to lose to the worst Michigan football team in the history of the university and then they scored 29 consecutive points and covered the huge spread. Am I the only person who pictures Joe Pa giving the Russell Crowe Gladiator speech during a television commercial break? Via the sideline phone no less. How much would you pay to hear Joe Pa say, “At my signal, unleash hell.”

(It takes a while but the best single line of moviedom in the past ten years will come up eventually. Damn copyright lawyers ruining clips for the rest of us.)

4. Georgia outlasts Vandy 24-14. This game was ugly. And I know because I was nauseous and attempting to take a nap while watching this game from my car on Saturday afternoon. Earlier I’d spent the day touring the Thomas Wolfe home in Asheville. Don’t ask. But isn’t it amazing how teams can drop off the national radar so fast? Georgia is number 7 in the BCS standings and you’d think they’ve lost three games already. That will probably change beginning this weekend at LSU, but still, how have they disappeared so quickly?

In case you're wondering how the Gators are getting ready for the Cocktail Party, here's a rap about the awesomeness of beards from Gainesville. Every time I want to hate Florida fans, they go and pull off something amazing like this. Work your way through the opening half-minute and wait for the rap to begin. It's truly outstanding. As an added bonus watch for Joakim Noah, Al Horford, and Taurean Green to make cameos. Seriously.

5. On Friday Boise State beat Hawaii 32-7 to get to 6-0. Remember Boise State head coach Chris Petersen? You should. He’s about to become the hottest commodity among young head coaches in the country. Their only win by less than 13 was over Oregon at Oregon. They’re #15 in the country and will be favored to get to 12-0. Can they crash the BCS again? Oklahoma hopes not.

6. Texas Tech is 7-0 and still has played no one. Why can’t my team ever get a starting schedule like this to artificially inflate our expectations? But that’s all about to change. Starting this week Tech goes to Kansas (where they’ve opened as an early underdog), then they get Texas and Oklahoma State at home before a nice road trip to Oklahoma. Christ, is the negative karma from going to law school finally catching up with Mike Leach?

7. LSU proved they can win a big night game on the road. Unfortunately for them, this win means their home game against Georgia will now be an afternoon game for CBS. Somehow Les Miles will find a way to blame Matthew Stafford for this insult to the honor of the Bengal Tigers. Meaning I'm glad I'm not Matthew Stafford.

8. Remember how USC was favored by 43 on the road? Yeah, they covered by 26. 69-0 was the final. Washington State’s really clicking on all cylinders now. Can you imagine being a Washington State fan, putting money on your team, and then having to watch this debacle?

As if that weren't bad enough, word is the entire Washington State dance team fled Pullman to become Mark Sanchez's harem. Only Sanchez dropped them off in Sacramento because they weren't hot enough for LA.

9. Oklahoma's Sam Bradford threw for 468 yards against Kansas. What’s more, the Sooners put up 674 yards of total offense. How is that even possible with the new clock rules? Seriously, 674 yards. You’re thinking, they must have thrown the ball on every play. You’d be wrong. They passed 56 times, but they also ran the ball 44 times. Meaning they managed to run 100 offensive plays. The average team in college football is averaging about 64 this year. How did this happen? Especially because Kansas ran 72 plays themselves. It wasn’t like they turned the ball over on the first play every time. I have no idea how this game featured 172 plays. Anyway, Oklahoma won 45-31.

10. Ohio State eviscerated Michigan State. Meaning it might well be another twenty years before Michigan State gets to go back to the Rose Bowl. But they can still beat Michigan this weekend, right? State fans are kicking dirt clods outside their UP Winnebagos. Right? Meanwhile, Ohio State and Penn State decides the Rose Bowl for the Big Ten before November is even here.

11. UVA upset North Carolina in overtime. What if Al Groh won the ACC this year? Your world is spinning in reverse right now, isn’t it? UVA is now 2-1 in conference and has a chance to take over the Coastal Division lead with a game at Georgia Tech this weekend.

12. The first BCS standings are out. Texas and Alabama are in the top spots. Not for long. I personally guarantee a loss for Alabama this weekend in Knoxville. It’s happening. Write it down and remember who told you first. In fact, wager your life savings on the Alabama favored by 6 line. That worked very well for everyone who took my advice on Texas Tech-Nebraska. As a consolation prize in advance, this lovely Alabama girl has lost her top. Oh my. She must be cold.

Quarterback Graham Harrell and last year’s Biletnikoff Award winner, Michael Crabtree, lead Texas Tech into what they hope will be their break through season in both the Big 12 South and the BCS. Texas Tech returns 18 starters (ten on offense) and rides its highest preseason ranking in 31 years in this season’s quest to escape its reputation as the “also ran” of Texas college football. Harrell returns for his senior year and his third as a starter after once again putting up “holy shit” statistics last year (5,705 yards, 71.8% completion, 48 touchdowns and 14 interceptions is difficult on PlayStation even when you’re sober). Crabtree came into last year with expectations that he would contribute immediately, and put together such an outstanding year that he avoided the “system player” knock. Besides the two big stars, Tech has more depth and talent on both sides of the ball than ever. If the breakthrough doesn’t happen this year, then I’m giving up on football and throwing all of my support behind Tech’s Meat Judging team.

Mike Leach is entering what I think is his ninth season with Texas Tech (I can’t be expected to confirm this. I’m a fucking volunteer writer.) They call him the Mad Scientist. I don’t particularly like this nickname because (1) he’s a lawyer by training, not a scientist, and (2) although he’s peculiar, he doesn’t exhibit any signs of dementia. Nonetheless, he’s done a damn fine job. Regardless of whether we make big waves this year, he’s made Tech recognizable and relevant. That is no small task at a university with a relatively isolated campus that has to compete with Texas, Oklahoma, Aggieland, etc., etc.

Strengths:

It’s Texas Tech, so unless you’ve been in a coma the last 8 years, you know their strength is the passing game. They shouldn’t miss a beat this year with ten starters returning. Crabtree’s numbers will likely decline because of the added coverage he will draw. He’s still a badass and should open things up for other receivers like Eric “The Elf” Morris (5’8” 177lbs), Edward Britton, Detron Lewis, and a handful of others. Seriously, in an average season, 15 or 16 guys catch a pass.

At least early on, running back will be by committee with Shannon Woods, Aaron Crawford, and Baron Batch. Each of them is in the slightly undersized 5’11” 200lbs mold and they’re each pretty good in the open field.
The entire starting offensive line is back (although a couple of the starters are being challenged for their spots). The O-Line averages about 6’5” and 325lbs., and only gave up 18 sacks in 763 pass attempts last year. They also handled Chris Long pretty well last year in the Gator Bowl. (Side Note: If you watched that game, you know that Chris Long plays like someone put PCP on his cornflakes and lit a block of firecrackers in his ass.) Louis Vasquez is the name to remember, at least as the season begins.

Gratuitous Leach Quote #1: “If you get into a fight, don't take your helmet off. We're looking for smart football players, not dumb ones. In the interest of time, don't get into any more fights today."

Weaknesses:

Six months ago, I would say Tech’s biggest weakness is that they let opponents stomp a mud-hole in their ass with the running game. However, Tech has added a lot of quality depth to their defensive front seven in the off season (Tech only played 3 guys at DT last year in their 4-3 system). Chris Perry, Brandon Sesay and McKinner Dixon are all newcomers that should all contribute to the D-Line this year. Sophomore Coby Whitlock and junior Brandon Williams each appear to have the ability to play on Sunday.

That being said, the real weakness is consistency, both throughout the season and in individual games. There’s no room for a horrible loss to a bad team like years past with Colorado, Oklahoma State, Iowa State, New Mexico, etc.

Look no further than the last two bowl games for inconsistent play within a game (overcoming deficits of 31 and 14 points due primarily to inconsistent play and penalties). Although it is especially not cool to get a 21 point first half lead on Texas, prompting me to leave a buddy’s wedding reception in downtown Atlanta on Halloween weekend in search of a sports bar, then give up the lead and lose leading me to drunkenly scream at a television in the corner of said sports bar, all the while surrounded by southern metrosexuals in clever Halloween costumes. It was demoralizing to say the least.

Gratuitous Leach Quote #2: “We played two games out here today. We played a very poor one the first half, and we played a pretty good one the second half. The first half, Baylor's three defensive lineman consistently whipped our five offensive linemen. I'm very disappointed with the first half, pleased with the second half, so it's kind of a love hate game really."

Rival:

Aggieland refuses to acknowledge that Texas Tech is their rival. The fact that we’ve beaten them in 10 of the last 13 games makes me obliged to focus on them. It may surprise people unfamiliar with the Big 12, but I shit you not that most Aggie fans think A&M has a top 15, if not top 10 program. Thus, they cannot be bothered with lowly Texas Tech (I’m not making this shit up.) Maybe taking only three days to find a new coach, but more than 3 months to find a new mascot. (Reveille VIII was introduced on August 11) is what leaves Aggieland from being our “rival in denial” to being our “trap game” at best. Also, we kicked the shit out of them in Meat Judging last year.

Gratuitous Leach Quote #3: “Yeah, you've just got to work around the Corps. I think it's one of the greatest settings in college football, and they've got those guys with swords marching around. I'll make my annual plea that I think the opposing team should be given some swords too, and after the game, we'll give them back so the next opposing team can use the swords. I don't think it's fair that just one side should have swords. But I do think the Corps, in and of itself, is impressive. They march around there and sometimes you have to dodge between columns to get to the locker room, but you work through that."