In slightly less competitive fair, Florida has run up a 70-19 due in large part to the team's six rushing touchdowns. Even one of their defensive tackles has a rushing touchdown. Tebow meanwhile went 9-11 for 201 yards and three touchdowns before being replaced by John Brantley. Still, expect a bunch of people to call Urban Meyer an asshole tomorrow.

Elsewhere in the SEC, LSU is down two touchdowns to Jevan Snead's Rebels of Ole Miss. It's only a matter of time before some car dealership decides to burn an effigy of Les Miles. And now, for your comments...

Yep, this is the Illinois football I'm used to . . . the kind that makes us all happy when basketball season arrives. -kingdonut66

Cal Poly up 7-0 on Wisconsin at Camp Randall thanks to one Ryan Mole, burrowing through the Badgers' D with a bad French accent. -Signal2Noise

Cal-Poly over Wisconsin 13-0 in the 2nd. If that score holds up, Bret Bielema will get ass-raped by Barry Alvarez after the game. -kingdonut66

Gary Danielson is clapping sarcastically at a call by LSU. Apparently CBS is the home of the biggest jackass announcers in college football. -drscooter19

Praise Jesus, the Washington-Washington State game has finally kicked off. Bring on the competitive, well played football. -sgtabesimpson

Louisville has run the ball with success as well, but Hunter Cantwell's two interceptions have been drive-killers. The 'Eers lead 35-21 in the fourth quarter. Elsewhere Syracuse and Notre Dame are getting underway in a game that no sane person would ever want to watch. Ohio State is still pissing on the Wolverines and NC State remains poised to play the role of spoiler against their rivals from Chapel Hill. Oh and hey, Tennessee is WINNING a game, and they are pumped!

As usual U of M finds a way to screw over MSU. Most years it's kicking the shit out of them. This year they've decided to continue shitting the bed into the last game of the season against Ohio State, thus depriving MSU of a shot at the Rose Bowl. What a bunch of sore losers. -Ray

The only difference between the Crapple Cup and Cuse-ND: NBC's announcers will keep up the lie that the game is in any way interesting. -Signal2Noise

Michigan's QB got rocked by Laurinaitis, prompting Brad Nessler to remark that he "just got a mouthful of number 33." Ahem. (A "mouthful"? Really, Brad??) -Dexter Fishmore

Ohio State is so happy with what Rich Rodriguez has done with the Michigan program, they're going to have him dot the "i" -Fitz350z

Michigan is less offensive than France's military. -ahp 9

Horrified by the computer generated dancing whales commercial on ABC, I quickly turned to ESPN in hopes of something better. Only I found something worse: scenes from the Kentucky Tattoo Expo, featuring a young yokel with a Colonel Sanders tattoo on his thigh. Why couldn't they have shown Kige Ramsey instead? -sgtabesimpson

Wow. No wonder no one cares about the Ivy League. Harvard 10, Yale 0. Versus is now ready to pull the contract on "The Game". It'll be the first time in their history that they've pulled a contract on anything. -kingdonut66

Six Pabst later and Pam Ward STILL scares the shit out of me. -DannyBoy0268

So Bob Griese thinks Todd Boeckman is of value to the Buckeyes. Well, I have two words for Griese: GET FUCKED. Boeckman was the weak link in that Ohio State offense since 2007, and it was Tressel's loyalty to him that cost the Bucks any shot of winning at Southern Cal. Save your dogfucking QB opinions for your journeyman son. Fuckface. -mmpunter (Ed. note- That's our Punte)

So I turned on the channel that I thought was ABC and saw Rutgers vs Army. Then I found the real ABC and the Ohio State/Michigan game. The only way this could have been worse is turnig on ABC and hearing Pam Ward say "welcome to Iowa where the Hawkeyes are taking Northwestern. " -drscooter19

Michigan's defense, spending more time on the field than the Ohio State Grounds Crew does, combined, during the week. -Fraganhome

Pam Ward gets Indiana-Purdue. And immediately, everyone in the state of Indiana puts it on mute. HA HA, FUCKERS! -KingDonut66

Paul McGuire is on the tOSU/Michigan sideline hunched over on a chair with a blanket on his lap, a cup of coffee in hand, and he is visibly spitting while he's talking. Who knew Lou Holtz had a twin.
- SoonerSteve

Forget a college football playoff. President-Elect Obama needs to put his weight behind the Guns Up! Bill, which would keep rifles and assault weapons out of the hands of Lee Corso. -Signal2Noise

New discovery: Bill Stewart Face : college football :: Norv Face : NFL -Signal2Noise

Who this "Dexter Fishmore" fool? Damn... gotta change my AIM handle to CamNewtonianPhysics before five-oh figure out this laptop ain't mine. Don't wanna have to defenstrate another these bitchez.... -Dexter Fishmore

its "saved by the bell" on fox vs ohio st-michigan on ABC. This is a lot closer than it should be — then again, Kelly and Zack break up in this episode and I keep expecting Jessie to nail him in a pool. -Zombie Jesus X

May the loser of the Apple Cup be doomed to a year of hitting themselves in the crotch with a rubber mallet. -colbypkp678

You know what's less depressing to watch than this Michigan-Ohio State game? CNBC's stock tickers re-creating 1929. -fraganhome

Not that I'm complaining, but I'm pretty sure that the sequence of events that led to Vince Ogobhaase signing with Duke included a lot of alcohol and Ted Roof doing the "roll the dice" dance all night. -MDT

The Florida Classic is getting ready to kickoff. You don't really even need football teams with a halftime band show like this. -BDoc

I got a half-pack of Rolaids in my pants for every women wearing Duke apparel at the Notre Dame game. That is to say, they're all fat. Or old. Or possibly men. - Illegal Immigrant

I love the media. It has to make every Michigan alum sick to have Herbstreit (OSU alum) pleading on national television that Lloyd Carr is a great football coach and that Michigan should keep him. -cjbrownb

someone better tell peyton he has some competition, kirk herbstreit just publicly annoucned his relationship with "his man" kenny chesney. -dixie normous13

Mario Manningham is dropping millions and millions of dollars. -goathair

Jim Tressel, "It's tough to come in here and win..." He's a better actor than I thought. -cjbrownb

Why do I feel like everyone at the ND-Duke game will be getting a "Participant" ribbon and the team mom will tell them that they're all winners. Also, pudding may be served. -J-Money

The announcer in the UNC- GT game just said that the kicker needs to have, " A short memory, like an elephant." Raycom Sports provides some high quality commentary. -Shenanigans

Apparently Virginia Tech is playing a football game of some consequence...

Why does tWWL always toy with my emotions? They have such crap-tastic programming most of the time, but then they whip out the sentimental VT segment, and I love them again. Such an abusive relationship. I think I have battered-woman's syndrome. -The Man With No Name

I just watched the Virginia Tech tribute ... way to be a buzzkill, GameDay. -Ooh, Shiny (fka Mob Penguin)

Tirico: the past 20 minutes... this Virginia Tech football programs finest hour. Fantastic start Mike, well done. -Jed

Is anyone else doing the virginia tech drinking game? a shot every time they mention emotional fatigue or healing? the drunkest you could ever hope to get before lunch. -TheSnevik

Fun with announcers...

Is it wrong to admit I feel cheated by not having the stupidity of Pam Ward teaming up with the brain-dead mumblings of Mike Gottfried any more? -Signal to Noise

And with the appearance of Erin Andrews on the sideline, a new season begins. -The Young Nucleus

Just when you think that College Football is making strides with racial relations, College Gameday goes and puts Desmond Howard on the back of the bus to monitor the bloggers' thoughts. Frankly, I am appalled. You think Corso calls him boy? -BubbaCJ
Miscellanea...

The UAB kicker is named Swayze Waters. Mothers, please stop doing this to your children. -Signal to Noise

When Colorado scored its touchdown, they flashed to the Buffalo, Colorado's mascot, who had a steaming pile of shit right behind him. You stay classy, Colorado. -Chilltown

Getting ready to head to the Maryland/Villanova game. Got to get there early. First 100 people in get to apply powder under Friedgen's stomach. It takes a village. -Josh

No big 10 network means i don't get to see joepa sprint to the locker room to relieve his bowels. -Dave

It's 12:51pm, I am in Columbia, SC, I am drunk, I just took a bong hit, and I fucked my knee up because I was too drunk last night. Football season is here. -ClarkWGriswld

My Northwestern Wildcats are winning the Battle of the Northern Ordinals. I wouldn't be so pumped if we didn't lose our home opener to New Hampshire last year. Yeah, we have some trouble with the 1-AAs. -TheSnevik

Remember to send your correspondence to UnsilentDeadspin on AIM

• The Vanderbilt player mentioned most often in this game against Michigan? Jay Cutler.

• Just watching the College Game Day crew live and direct from Georgia Tech and among many signs talking about Brady Quinn's sister in the background, one stood out. "Brady Quinn's sister loves the D." - PostmanR

• Mikey Henderson of UGA runs Western Kentucky' first punt back, only to drop the ball on the 2 yard line and then recover said ball out of the back of the endzone, resulting in a touchback. Western Kentucky's second punt? Mikey Henderson runs that one back too. The second time he held on. - Hyatt

• "The Post Jay Cutler Era" ... are you allowed to call anything related to Vanderbilt Football an era? - Critical Fanatic

• Sean Mcdonough just said Vandy is hoping their new QB can be "phat." - Tom Fornelli

• I hope you're seeing how well dressed the Grambling Coach is. He's putting Pat Riley to shame. - LoneStar

• Hampton Pirates kicker Andrew Paterini took an interesting way to go to Hampton U. He was looking for a school with a good architecture program and thought that Hampton U was in the Hamptons on Long Island. When he took his trip to the school, he fell in love with the architecture program and is now a senior kicker. By the way, he's the only white player I have seen so far. - beisbolct