One place I'm pretty sure there won't be a premiere: Iran, which has banned the movie. So I'm all for giving Harvey Milk his due, but is there any doubt that Rourke deserved the Best Actor Oscar over Sean Penn? Penn always looks like he's acting. As we see here, Rourke never does.

Fun Fact: Wrestle Jam '88, the Nintendo game played by Randy the Ram in the film, never existed: Until producers requested a fully functional game for the film. Which means that kid has the all-time high score, I guess.

Photo: Associated Press.

Celeb Pix: Run Angelenia Jolie, Run! [Contra Costa Times]
The Wrestler [The Will Leitch Experience]

The NY Times ran its second "Real-Life Wrestler"-piece in the last couple weeks. Unlike the Tito Santana story from Feb. 21st, this one about Jon Rechart, of Spring Lake Heights, N.J. is a little more similar to Randy "The Ram's" sad-sack narrative. Rechart, pictured in that photo, is 36 years-old, but could easily pass for 50. He no longer makes the big bucks, but at one point in his career, made six-figures wrestling as a scary Santa Claus character in the WWF/WWE Balls Mahoney of the late, great ECW. All he has left of that career is the battered body to show for it:

"I got a torn A.C.L. in one leg that I never got fixed. In '97, I broke my C2, C3 and C4 vertebras in the ring. A move went wrong and I got dropped on my head. Both rotator cuffs are shot. Every single day is a struggle with pain."

Mr. Rechart's forehead is a bulbous collection of scar tissue running from one side of his face to the other. He looks like a mugging victim.

"The scars are from forks, cheese graters, barbed wire, light bulbs, glass, beer bottles," he said, listing the various items opponents have used to attack him. "If it's not nailed down, I've been hit with it."

But remember the Real "Ram" is everywhere. Like in Chicago, where Jerry Lynn sees his life in Randy's. He says his story is a little more "feel-good" than the wrestler portrayed by Rourke. So that means his life is less interesting and only relevant for a quick, three-question q-and-a.

Hint to freelance writers: Go to your local V.F.W.'s depressing weekend wrestling spectacle, find the most mangled looking performer possible, ask him about "The Wrestler", then write 800 words on it. This story is eminently recyclable.

Faded Glory On The Wrestling Circuit [NY Times]

They range from dissecting his vocal inflection during his podcast, to analyzing turns of phrase in his columns, to his masthead position on the front page — and one even asked "Did Simmons smoke a bong before his most recent podcast?".(Answer: No. He was drinking orange juice.)

But most read something like this:

Pretty interesting that Simmons’ annual football preview column is buried over at ESPN.com…….not sure if the opening paragraphs on old school/new school vegas is a thinly veiled dig at ESPN burying Simmons for Reilly…..

We received another one today about his recent love letter to "The Wrestler" (Leitch thief!) in this week's ESPN the Magazine. The accompanying still photo from the movie features a sign in the background that says "Necrobutcher Sucks a Fat Dick", which is also prominently displayed on the website and the front of Page 2. A mere oversight by the web editor or another subtle dig at Shawshank by Simmons?

Probably a coincidence. However, the timing of such Fat Dickery is a little amusing considering Simmons was just enlightened about the new "guidebook" for writers by ESPN's ombudsman Leanne Schreiber. Here are some grouchy Sports Fella quotes from "The Sports Guy Dilemma" section of her most recent column:

When I told Simmons about the guidebook in progress, he said, "You mean they are planning on cracking down?"

When I suggested he think of it as clarifying rather than cracking down, he said, "So I'm writing a column and I have to consult the rule book."

I reversed field and asked him what he found most troublesome about writing for ESPN.com.

"When you are supposed to push the envelope," Simmons said, "but you are afraid of the repercussions of every decision, I think it affects you. I don't really blame the editors, because those guys aren't really sure where the lines are anymore, so they're going to take stuff out that is anywhere close to the line. But if you're going to take something out, the reason can't be 'We'd rather be safe than sorry.' You have to put some thought into it and say, 'If this stays in, what are the potential repercussions?'"

So, Leanne Schreiber is the"The Necrobutcher." Makes perfect sense. She needs a nickname anyway.

UPDATE: Necrobutchered!

ESPN can have rules, Edge [ESPN.com]

But ever year there's a movie that one William F. Leitch falls madly in love with just based on a trailer or a concept alone, then if the movie turns out to be everything he'd hoped it be, he becomes obsessed with it. One year it was "Punch Drunk Love"; this year, it's "The Wrestler" directed by Darren "Ass to Ass" Aronofsky and starring Mickey Rourke as a Randy "Macho Man" Savage-like character. Even though it's an odd premise, the film is inexplicably getting all sorts of Oscar talk right now. And, Will, of course, has vowed to pound this drum until everyone listens to him and Mickey Rourke gets his statue. (If you don't agree with this notion he will most likely say something along the lines of "I'm surprised you're able to walk upright" or something.) Somehow he kept his composure and pulled together "Ten Things You Need To Know About 'The Wrestler'" for New York magazine's Vulture blog. I admit, regardless of how awful an experience it is listening to him yammer about movies, he makes a compelling case for this one:

Rourke’s Randy “the Ram” Robinson was a star wrestler in the eighties, which means the whole movie is soundtracked by glorious, awesome hair metal, his preferred genre. Haven’t heard Accept’s “Balls to the Wall” in a long time? You’re in luck: The Ram rocks out, HARD. One particularly amusing exchange between the Ram and Marisa Tomei’s stripper, Cassidy, features the line, “The eighties fuckin’ ruled, man, till that pussy Cobain came and fucked it all up.” Expect to hear the soundtrack played ironically at Christmas parties on the Lower East Side.

And there are nine more of these.

Ten Things You Need to Know About The Wrestler [Vulture]