According to the New York Daily News, Barber's porcelain presence and cocky attitude hasn't impressed NBC Sports execs who have decided to add a couple more talking heads to the "Football Night In America" mix (Rodney Harrison, Tony Dungy), bringing the total to 78 analysts for the upcoming 2009 season. This will mean even less time for Tiki, who has also seen his smiling crotch-painting and omelet-making appearances on the Today Show dwindle in recent months. One anonymous NBC exec tells the Daily News that Tiki "made some improvement last season, but he still came over as somewhat buttoned-down and elite, as opposed to (Jerome) Bettis, who was an everyman kind of guy." So the easiest way for Tiki to earn more airtime this season? Get fatter and less articulate.

Ex-Giant Tiki Barber Is Forgotten Man [NYDN] (Via Truth and Rumors)

The former Giants running back, who retired from football the year before his team won a Super Bowl, is plumbing new depths of personal humiliation for the sake of his "journalism" career. Just think that it was only close to two years ago that Barber, fed up with the direction of the New York Giants under coach Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning's "comical" leadership, prematurely retired from football because he had better things to do in his life.

Best Week Ever's Dan Hopper says this is clearly a man who's dying inside:

If you look into Tiki Barber’s eyes while this group of blue-smocked children douse his entire body with colored paint to the soundtrack of tribal Blue Man Group beats, there is a soft, subtle, yet deeply truthful twinge of “why in the name of all that is holy did I choose to retire for this?”

But at least he's not at Super Bowl Media Day. That would be just too demeaning.

Tiki Barber Has Crotch Painted By Children And Blue Man Group, Finally Regrets Retiring Probably [Best Week Ever]

It was an on-air discussion from Beijing between Tiki, Wolfe and Brian Williams on the subject of the total medal count, and at one point Barber turns to Wolfe and appears to say "You're a total medal c—-." Here ya go ... judge for yourself.

For the sake of discussion, we think we should mostly consider his work on "Sunday Night Is Football Night," or whatever the hell they're calling NBC's show now. We say this because we will not be putting Matt Lauer up for a vote.

We have put a special voting bot in place for this one to give an extra 15 votes to Tom Coughlin.

So: Do you like the Tiki Barber? Do you not like the Tiki Barber? Hit us.

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Also, he shot this enjoyable morning video:

Like a lot of people, we respected Barber's decision to retire, and even bought Rick Reilly's famous "he's just trying to save himself the wear-and-tear of life in the NFL" column defending him. And then Tiki just would not stop talking, claiming he'd still be playing if Tom Coughlin weren't coaching and hammering Michael Strahan for holding out for more money. The whole implication: Sorry, Giants, you could have still had this, had you appreciated this.

So the Giants respond by going out and winning the freaking Super Bowl without him. If only he could have been in the broadcast booth. It's a good thing his job pretty much just mostly involves talking to bored homemakers anymore. No one else will be able to look at him without laughing.

My Super Bowl MVP Tiki Barber [Chicago Bull]

A Kindly Plea For Tiki Barber To Shut The Hell Up [Deadspin]

Listen, we're no big fans of Tom Coughlin, but Barber's continued thrashing of the Giants coach — even going so far as to say he'd still be playing football if it weren't for Coughlin — is self-aggrandizement in its worst form. Neverminding that Barber, pre-Coughlin, was a fumbling machine; mostly, we just are amused by the fiction that poor little Tiki had his love for the game taken away by the screaming man with the headset. Barber knows what he's doing; these little New York media feuds are exactly what keeps people like Barber with their names headlining everything. It's a crock.

Remember Rick Reilly's column about Barber, right after he announced his retirement? The one where Barber talked about how important it was to him to leave the game while he could still walk, while he was still healthy? And that's why he had retired? Was that bullshit, Tiki? Or is this bullshit now?

Please Shut The F$%* Up, Tiki [PopJocks]
Tiki Barber Upset That Tom Coughlin Made Him Good [Randball]

From Dennis Green's stammering temper tantrum, to Steve Lyons botching the oldest Spanish joke in the book, to Mike Tyson embarking on a world tour to fight one-eyed fighters and goats, to Endy Chavez almost becoming an inexplicable legend in one blessed leap .. it's been an eventful week. What gets lost, is the premature retirement of Giants running back Tiki Barber. Of course, as an Eagles fan, I'm pleased at this news. But Barber's never been somebody you can really root against; he's the only professional football player that, when I think of him during word association games, "polite" is the first thing that comes to mind. ("Byron Allen" is second, if you must know. And who doesn't play Tiki Barber word association games on chilly autumn nights? )

And as Token Non-Threatening Black Guy, Barber is a valuable commodity to advertisers and day time talk show circuits. Plus, he's openly stated that he has myriad interests including "finance " and "philanthropy." Honestly, what other NFL running back would you let date your daughter? And after spending so much time thinking about him, I've also come to the conclusion that Barber might be the most boring person ever to play in the NFL. But these ponderings have led to the inevitable question of what Tiki will do after his football career? Commentator? Ad pitchman? Sure. But he has a lot more options that need to be explored. Behind that twinkling smile exists a man who's still completely clueless about what he'll do this Februrary — but eager to experience all life has to offer.

So I'm still waiting for Carlos Beltran to swing, cooking up a warm batch of Ronde's cider and tabulating the odds on the events of Tiki Barber's post-football career.

Jump with me ...

Co-Host of The View: 3/1

In an attempt to soften the show, ABC brings Barber on to defuse the roiling contention of Rosie O'Donnel's raging lesbian den mother and Elizabeth Hasselbeck's mousey conservatism, "Time Out With Tiki" becomes the moral compass to guide them. Barber will first be tapped to co-host a male-oriented talk show, but will soon realize that most men distrust Tiki's shininess.

Congressional Page: 4/1

A natural politician, Barber discovers that he must first learn the ins-and-outs of The Hill before pushing headlong into a political career. Although, he'll question some of his duties — daily stretching on the White House lawn, rousing games of tariff tackle with other pages, "Jacuzzi Night" — Barber will eventually realize his destiny as seat-filler at campaigns in Blue Midwestern states. But, boy, will he have some memories.

Infomercial Magnate: 3/1

Struggling to find a sufficient firm up to handle his visionary business acumen, Barber decides to light out on his own and lend his name to "Tiki's One-Touch Taco Folder" — a push-button pan that fold tortillas without the usual "Mexi-mess." Soon after, he'll roll out the "Teek-a-Boo," a compact meat dehydrator that'll turn any leftovers into delicious jerky. Sales will skyrocket and become even more ubiquitous in college dormitories than the Foreman Grill.

Charged With Murder of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman: 4/1

O.J.'s book drops the bombshell, linking a then 19-year-old Barber to the scene of the crime via Faye Resnick's drug connections and love of Bruno Armagli shoes. Just as Barber's dragged away into the police car, three cameramen jump out of the bushes and inform the shaken Barber that he's been....JUICED!

Lord of the Furries: 1/1

After years of living in shame, Barber finally outs himself as a proud member of the alternative community that likes to dress up in animal costumes and have sex. Tiki (or "Pogo", as he'll insist on being called) along with his new life partner Kajanga (or "Bill") will embark on a nationwide Tour of Tolerance dressed in assless panda outfits, attempting to spread their fuzzy love across America.