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Posts Tagged “

Tom Brady

brilliant ideas

Examining The Procreation Habits Of The Modern Day Athlete For Fun


You've probably asked yourself a million times, "I wish there was a blog out there that would let me know how how Shawn Kemp Jr. Jr. Jr.'s doing or give me updates on Darren McFadden's paternity suit situation." More »

heroes

Tom Brady Has A Wonder Woman Fetish

So Tom Brady wants his girlfriend to dress up as Wonder Woman? Who doesn't? Just be thankful he didn't say Aqua Boy. According to a gossip column in the Boston Globe, Gisele Bundchen revealed that Brady has a bit of a Wonder Woman fixation. Translation: If someone is thinking of making a Wonder Woman movie — ha! What a screwy notion! — she wants to be on the short list. More »

queer eye for the dead guy

Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder

Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Lincoln for having a beard. This gets out, his career's over." Indeed. More »

Eli Manning's Reach-Around Courtesy Is Impressive
Yeah, that episode may not get by network censors.

you look mahvelous

Manning Vs. Brady, Round II

OK, I might see Tom Brady wearing Ermenegildo Zegna clothing, but Eli Manning, I don't think so. Isn't he more of a Miller's Outpost kind of guy? Anyway, they were both on hand for the big Zegna store opening in Manhattan on Thursday, or so we are led to believe. Mr. Manning here actually looks very much like a cardboard cutout, no? More »

sports briefs

Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?

So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum? More »

osi umenyiora, sore ribs, and you

OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!

Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his finest segment ever ... with an ending that may shock you. Take it, Carl: More »

super bowl aftermath roundup

Whining About Patriots' Loss Now A Greater Threat Than Global Warming

So this is somewhat amusing. According to Amani Toomer, before the game on Sunday Patriots' players were inviting him to their victory parties. "They were inviting us to their parties after the game," Toomer said. "They showed us no respect." Meanwhile, Tom Brady has dropped out of the Pro Bowl (expected), and has also decided to skip the Pebble Beach Pro Am (What?). I think it would be funny to go to Belichick's house on Thursday and demand an injury report. More »

super bowl xlii

The Patriots Are, At Last, Losers. Like The Rest Of Us.


It is rare in the world of sports to find a moment when two revelatory, unifying moments converge into something that stuns us all, from every direction. Around 10:20 p.m. ET last night, the sports planet's tectonic plates shifted so dramatically that we thought our heads would never stop spinning. Eli Manning changed every thought anyone had ever had about him, but we talked about that last night and will talk more about that later. Let's talk about the Patriots for a moment ... shall we? More »

you look mahvelous

Tom Brady Will Be Well Coiffed On Sunday

The big Super Bowl question concerning Tom Brady isn't "Is he injured?", but rather "Will he have his nails done?" One can bet that the answer is affirmative, as word has leaked that the Patriots' quarterback will have his own hair stylist on hand in Glendale this weekend. They're calling him a barber, but come on; his name is Pini Swissa. More »

Just so you know, the Patriots are dismissing reports that Tom Brady had been turned into a lifeless, blood-thirsty zombie. [Your Face Is A Sports Blog]

yeah, and i look like steve nash

Whoa! I Can't Even Tell Them Apart!


Tyler Pratt — um, pictured left — sent a photo of himself in to some Patriots look-alike contest saying people tell him he looks like Tom Brady. Apparently, Tyler Pratt works in a cave ... with blind people ... who are horrible fuckin' liars. More »

super bowl xlii

Ideas For A More Enjoyable Super Bowl Week

Rarely do commenters on other sites even come close to the wit and wisdom of our own Deadspin Army of Darkness (sorry if that sounds like sucking up, but independent studies have proven this to be true). Occasionally, though, one catches my eye with a tape measure home run. Such was the case yesterday over at The Sporting News, when commenter Guliani For President (Ha! Please take note, Midwestcoastbias!) chimed in on the latest Tom-Brady-Is-He-Or-Isn't-He-Wearing-A-Protective-Boot story. More »

das boot

Dramatic New Footage Surfaces Of Tom Brady Walking

Tom Brady WILL be at the dance tonight, girls. He WILL be there. I'm paraphrasing Bill Murray in Meatballs, but you get the picture. So, Brady's "high ankle sprain" is not as serious as many believed (hoped?) ... unless they're now making walking casts in pointy-toed dress shoe designs. He showed up at Butter with Gisele in New York on Monday night with no protective boot ... ahhhh, just let the Boston Globe tell it (waves arm in disgust). More »

super bowl xlii

Another Reason To Yammer About Tom Brady All Week

SCANDALOUS celebrity Web site TMZ was the first to post the pictures of Tom Brady's "boot cast thing" — trademark Deadspin! — and it is everyone in a tizzy. We quite love the idea of John Clayton and Len Pasquarelli digging through TMZ for more Tom Brady injury updates. More »

remain calm! all is well!

Somewhere There's A Tom Brady Voodoo Doll With A Pin In Its Foot

Your chances of seeing Matt Gutierrez at quarterback in the Super Bowl just improved slightly on Monday, as Tom Brady was spotted hobbling down a New York sidewalk in a foot cast. Now what this means is not clear; all that we know for certain is that Brady's foot speed is pretty much unchanged. My guess as to what happened? Richard Seymour got confused and stomped his own player. More »

show your favrelove

Brett Favre And The Men Who Love Him

I just love it when a journalist develops a man crush on an athlete and loses all perspective. It seems to happen a lot with Brett Favre for some reason; perhaps its his indominable spirit ... or his eyes, which are like limpid pools ... . Anyway, count Frank Cooney, founder and publisher of The Sports Xchange, as one who has been captured by the Packers quarterback's undeniable charms. In casting the lone ballot for Favre in the NFL MVP voting, Cooney denied Tom Brady the unanimous decision, 49-1. More »

scary people

Supermodels Not Included

We have always been wary of getting a tattoo of anything involving sports fandom, mainly because: a) you never know when your team will betray or your favorite player will end up murdering his houseboy; and b) tattoos really hurt, and we cry easily. But one Patriots fan has no such qualms. More »