Reader Jonathan wanted to like the UFL, he really did. But he thought their neon uniforms were too Arena Football and similar to each other. So he wrote a letter, to the contact email address listed on the UFL's website. We won't reprint it here, but the gist is, "I like your product, but your teams look unprofessional and undifferentiated."

Fair enough. This is what he received:

WE DO NOT ACCEPT UNSOLICITED SUBMISSIONS. YOUR EMAIL WILL BE DELETED WITHOUT READING IT. BELOW IS OUR SUBMISSIONS POLICY:

It is the policy of the UFL not to accept any unsolicited material, information, suggestions, ideas, concepts, drawings, designs, schematics, artwork, music, graphical matter, know-how, techniques, questions, comments and other communications or content, or other works ("Unsolicited Submissions") submitted, transmitted, emailed, posted or otherwise provided to the UFL.

That's the electronic equivalent of having an office suggestion box feed directly into a wood stove.

I understand the legal obligation to warn fans that, if by some coincidence one of them comes up with an idea that gets put into use, they won't be getting paid for it. But to say up front (and in all caps!) that the email will be obliterated from existence without a human being ever setting eyes on it? Now that's a league/fan relationship that David Stern and Gary Bettman will envy.

It might be. Actually, one of the four teams doesn't have a name yet. Florida's nickname is the Tuskers. Here you see the uniforms of the California Redwoods, which are ironic because despite being named after a tree, their team colors cannot be found in nature. Then the UFL commissioner began the press conference by fumbling a football and stating confidently that his league is "different from other failed leagues." In that it hasn't failed yet?

The six-game season will take place during the NFL regular season, under the theory that any standout UFL players could be snatched up by NFL teams. Of course, losing their best players to the better league would render the UFL even more pointless. Nothing about this league makes any sense and the business model will be a real test of the theory of trickle-down economics. Does the NFL make so much money that some run-off could fall to the owners of this league without the big boys noticing? Sort of like what would happen if Roger Goodell dropped a $1,000,000 bill on the street?

Oh, and the owner of the Redwoods is Nancy Pelosi's husband, so the first 500 season ticket holders will probably get to sit on a "death panel."

Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready? [SF Weekly]

The United Football League's tagline, "Where the future stars come to play!" sounds a little sadder tonight, with news that the Darko of the 2004 QB draft class is joining the league.

After losing out on backup QB gigs to Josh McCown and Chris Simms (who, we might remind you, is prone to spleen explosions), Losman pulled the old "you can't fire me, I quit" and signed with the as-yet-unnamed Las Vegas franchise. He'll be coached by Jim Fassel, whose previous quarterbacks were Danny Kanell and Kerry Collins. I'm not sure who's being trolled here.

If I had doubt that he should not be a starting winning quarterback, I wouldn't take it on," Fassel said. "But I had the same feeling with Kerry Collins ... J.P.'s got tremendous athletic skills. This guy should be a starter in the NFL. I mean, come on ... But I still understand you can help a guy. Even Tiger Woods needs a swing coach."

Poking around the UFL's site, I was surprised to see some familiar names. The other three coaches are Jim Haslett, Denny Green and Ted Cotrell, and they'll be leading teams quarterbacked by Tim Rattay, Ken Dorsey and Brooks Bollinger. The UFL is every hack writer's punchline come to life.

Since Losman is now the face of the league, I assume they'll be changing the logo to a silhouette of a QB flat on his back.

Losman signs with Las Vegas UFL team [ESPN.com]

Offcials of the new league held a press conference in San Francisco this morning and announced, among other things, the four head coaches for its inaugural season: Green will coach the San Francisco franchise, Ted Cottrell will coach the New York franchise, Jim Fassel is at Las Vegas, and Jim Haslett is at Orlando. According to its web site, the UFL was designed for "the enjoyment of fans in major markets where professional football is not played."

Which is why there's a San Francisco franchise? Hey!

The new league, which debuts in October, is also not above throwing around Vick's name. From Newsday:

I asked commissioner Michael Huyghue about Vick, and he said that the league would be open to signing him. The three requirements: 1. Vick would have to complete his sentence on charges of running an illegal dog-fighting operations (he is due to complete his sentence in late July). 2. He'd have to be released by the Falcons, who still own his contractual rights. 3. The UFL would have to get positive feedback from the fans about Vick's inclusion in the league.

Also, games will be played in Los Angeles and Hartford, even though those cities will not have franchises. Actually no one officially has a franchise: The players will all train in Casa Grande, Arizona, and travel to the different cities for games over the six-week season, which ends on Thanksgiving.

I notice that the league's big investor is Paul Pelsoi, husband of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. He actually heads a group that owns all four franchises. Fun fact: He was Paul Tagliabue's roommate at Georgetown.

Far be it from me to question the wisdom of starting a new professional football league to compete against the NFL during a recession. I'm just looking forward to seeing Vick negotiate the right-field corner in AT&T Park.

Green, Fassel, Haslett To Coach In New League [San Francisco Chronicle]
Michael Vick Could Have A Home In The UFL [Newsday]
United Football League [Official Site]

And what in the shaft-filled gash is the United Football League, you ask? It seems to be positioning itself as CBA-type farm system for the NFL, and is set to officially start its season in the fall of 2009 even though it's still deciding on locations for its 8 teams.

Its motto isn't helping either : "Where the future stars come to play!"

Oh. That's catchy. Stars come to...wait a second.

Umm... [With Leather]

King talked with the league's President, Michael Huyghue, who had this to say:

He said the chances of a UFL team signing Michael Vick to play the 2009 season are "98 percent.'' Strange percentage, but that's what he said.

"Michael's not going to be able to walk right back into the NFL,'' Huyghue said. "He's going to need some kind of buffer before he signs in the NFL, and we'll be able to provide that for him.''

Vick is scheduled to be released from prison in July of 2009. Just in time for the proposed start of the UFL season in September of 2009. Vick would be banned from playing in the CFL so long as he's banned from the NFL. This rule was implemented by the CFL in August of 2007. CFL teams also have small salaries with a team cap of around $4 million. Why is that significant? The UFL is planning on teams having a $20 million dollar salary cap and quarterbacks could make between $1 and $4 million a year. Most importantly, a bankrupt Mike Vick would be free to play as soon he's released from jail since the NFL suspension rule doesn't apply to the UFL.

So the UFL could then package Vick and their new league to television networks. The UFL would have a marketable star (albeit a hugely controversial one) and television would have a reason for people to tune in. This is where it gets interesting. Who would be interested in televising the UFL? The NFL now has deals with ABC/ESPN, NBC, CBS, and Fox. Would the NFL be okay with these networks (and their many subsidiaries) giving any air-time to an upstart league that kicks off on Friday nights? Generally not. At least not in the past with competing leagues.

But, what if the UFL gives a fig leaf to the NFL's new personal conduct policy? They can kick guys out of the NFL without having to worry about their ill-defined policy being challenged by the NFLPA in court. Plus, they don't have to worry about the monopoly charge because they can point to the UFL. The NFL can then ship their vagabond players out of the league with year-long suspensions, allow them to rehabilitate their images elsewhere, and then bring them back when their "sins" have been cleansed. Which would be perfect for a player like Vick. As if all this weren't enough, the UFL could serve as a farm-league of sorts now that the NFL's European football experiment has given up the ghost. Something to keep in mind as America's most famous prisoner continues to serve his time.

Vick could play pro football in 2009 [SI.com]
Peter King: Vick could play in 2009 [SportsbyBrooks]

If you thought that the first round of the NBA playoffs was an exercise in frustration and humiliation, Mr. Cuban, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is part of a group considering formation of a football league that would compete with the NFL for players drafted lower than the second round. The league, still very much in the preliminary stage, would play its games on Friday nights. The NFL does not play then because of the potential conflict with high school football. "It's a pretty simple concept," Cuban said in an e-mail to The Associated Press. "We think there is more demand for pro football than supply."

The problem with reading any story about a potential new pro football league is that you have to read through all the stuff about all the previous failed attempts at this before you get to any current news. So why not skip straight to Cuban's own blog for more concise details?

The NFL wants and needs competition. They have grown so big and powerful that every move they make is scrutinized by local or federal officials. A competitor allows them to point to us and explain that their moves are for competitive reasons rather than the move of a monopoly.

We have a feeling that by the time Cuban's league becomes a legitimate competitor to the NFL, we'll own a robot named Bender. But hey, at least our man is blogging about sports again!

Competeing With The NFL [Blog Maverick]
Mavs' Cuban Might Help Form Rival To NFL [MSNBC]