Give them credit. When baseball's "leaders" stick their head in the sand, they really stick it in there. No outside noise will ever affect their judgment. The 2009 postseason was the most embarrassing display by the umpires in recent memory. It wasn't that they missed a lot of close plays—the calls they botched were glaringly obvious mistakes. Even the most ardent anti-replay sticklers had to admit that it probably would have come in handy more than a few times this October. The time was ripe! So, of course, baseball's GMs said "No, thanks."

"Right now, the commissioner doesn't see any reason to consider it."

Really? No reason at all? I guess they just want to spare baseball fans from 10-minute replay reviews on Sony Watchmans (mens?). On the other hand, they can't even figure out how to announce the league MVPs within two months of the actual season taking place, so when has speed ever been a concern? The sport's "old fogey" reputation remains solidly intact.

Trail to instant replay must be laid with dollar signs [CBS Sports]
What controversy? Baseball's GMs bypass instant replay debate for umpires' calls [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Baseball's general managers, meeting in Chicago right now, chose not to vote on replay. From the Associated Press:

"We talked about the mechanics behind instant replay. We talked about the structure. We talked about where it's housed, the umpires' procedure," said Jimmie Lee Solomon, executive vice president of baseball operations in the commissioner's office. "But it was all confined to the current instant replay system that we have."

Commissioner Bud Selig opposes widening the use of video review.

"I know there are some who have talked off line about the expansion of instant replay," Solomon said. "Right now, the commissioner doesn't see any reason to consider it."

Selig's in the wrong, of course, as he often is. One day, rest assured, baseball will clean up its umpiring. But unfortunately that won't happen until the game first rids itself of the human element known as Bud Selig.

GMs pass on expanding instant replay [AP]

While not quite as egregious as some of the earlier gaffes from this postseason, the two mistakes only take us one step closer on the march to full instant replay reviews. It was a close, bang-bang play but TV showed that Chase Utley was clearly safe at first on the back end of an eighth-inning double play. (Even blatant Yankee fans say so.) A correct call by first base ump Brian Gorman would have given Philly runners at first and third for the next Ryan Howard strikeout, but it still affected the way the later innings played out.

The first goof was a much tougher call, but it did appear that Johnny Damon's line dive skipped off the dirt before landing in Ryan Howard's glove in the seventh. I say "appear," because even though most commentators* agreed with that take the umpires would not admit they were wrong (Gorman was out of position to see it, but could have been overruled by another ump) and the replay was close enough to leave some doubt. That is the great fallacy of instant replay, of course. In the sports that do have it, referees still botch calls on a regular basis—even after looking at the video tape—so the idea that replays will get everything right is laughable.

So both teams got screwed and it probably wouldn't have changed the final outcome, but an expansion of instant replay in baseball is now inevitable. Enjoy that.

Umpires miss two calls in Game 2 of Series [ABC]
Enough is enough with these blown calls [Yahoo]
Umpires botch 'close' call to end eighth [NY Post]

* * * * *

*The only people who saw no problem with these calls were the Baseball Tonight crew, who suddenly became apologists for bad officiating. First of all, why is Berman even there? Karl Ravech owns the sport all year long, but then Fat Head McGee decides to show up for the World Series to annoy us all to death. (I would never use the word "hate" about another human ... but man do I hate that guy. Like a sickness.) Listen as he, John Kruk and Bobby Valentine pretend there's no reason whatsoever to dispute these calls.

"As good as a call" as he could have made? No, actually I can think of a better call. Like the correct one. Jackasses.

•Ole Miss is trying to crack down on students chanting "The South Will Rise Again" at the end of one of their fight songs. With an anemic four touchdowns in SEC play, it makes you wonder when they heard the fight song enough to criticize.

•The Angels shook off a seventh inning Yankees rally with one of their own, and sent the series back to New York, where it's supposed to rain all weekend. At this point, the ALCS will end sometime around game three of the World Series.

•Looks like Bud Selig's watching the playoffs closely, even if the umpires aren't. Baseball will announce that only veteran umps will work the World Series, breaking with the tradition of including one first-timer. I'm not sure this is the answer. You know who has worked a World Series game? Don Denkinger.

•Liverpool's team shop has sold out of beach balls, and they plan to search Man U fans for them before Sunday's match. Actually, I don't even have a comment. That's pretty damn hilarious.

•Frank McCourt has fired his soon-to-be ex-wife from her position as CEO of the Dodgers. Well, shit, if all it takes to get a nice severance package is to sleep with the boss for 30 years...does someone have Nick Denton's number?

•Caroline Wozniacki was up 7-5, 3-0 when bettors around the world began putting money on her opponent. Wozniacki then retired one game away from victory, and the WTA is looking into it. Obviously something's fishy, because people were betting on women's tennis.

Tim McClelland—who has been a Major League Umpire for 26 years—admitted after last night's ALCS game the he botched two calls. The most egregious one was the should've-been double play, where Robinson Cano and Jorge Posada were both caught stranded off third base, but only Posada was ruled out. McClelland came to the press room afterward to explain himself and said that he was expecting both players to tag the base and he thought Cano was touching third when he was tagged. Oops.

His explanation for the earlier gaffe is a little less solid. McClelland said that "in his heart" he believed Nick Swisher left third base early on a sacrifice fly and called him out on appeal. Even though replays appeared to show that he was wrong, McClelland said "I'm not sure I believe the replay of the first one." I think more umps and referees should use that excuse: The heart wants what it wants! And his heart wants Nick Swisher to be out. How you gonna argue with that?

By the way, McClelland's Wikipedia page was locked late last night so don't bother trying to convince people he's a known goat fucker or anything. (Sadly, the line about him being a Michigan State grad is not vandalism.)

Bill Klem Would Be Ashamed [ESPN]
Umpire Tim McClelland makes the worst call of all time [Big League Stew]
October 20 - Tim M cClelland [ASAP Sports]

We've seen some great baseball this October...and no one's talking about it. That's because we've seen so many egregiously wrong calls that, really, who can talk about anything else?

Already in tonight's game we've seen one of those runners up top get called safe somehow, Nick Swisher erroneously being called safe sliding back into second, and Swisher then getting erroneously nailed for leaving third too early while tagging up. Video evidence only confirms what millions of human eyes saw.

What's the deal here? These haven't been bang-bang calls by any means. They're not calls that we'd expect our worst umpires to miss, so it's not a matter of having the wrong guys working the game.

Is this like a batter's slump? Has one blown call affected the confidence of the entire postseason staff, and they're trying too hard? And more importantly, when are we getting instant replay?

[Much love to The Replacement Refs for help with the screengrabs.]

The good old neighborhood play. It's a given, 99 times out of 100, but last night Jerry Layne called Melky Cabrera safe when Erick Aybar's feet were merely in the vicinity of second base. To give FOX credit, they went back over the game's previous double plays and found there hadn't been any other neighborhood plays that game, so the umps were at least consistent.

Also consistent: reactions from New York and L.A., taking sides:

The New York Daily News:

...the Yankees nearly got a huge break in the 10th, as Aybar never touched second base on a potential double play...

The New York Post:

Shortstop Erick Aybar, who misplayed Hideki Matsui's popup in the 4-1 Game 1 loss, never touched second base on what should have been a Jorge Posada double-play ball in the 10th...

Chad Piscaner at Large:

Apparently Aybar and the Angels learned that the "neighborhood" play doesn't mean just being in sight of 161st street in the Bronx.

Meanwhile, SoCal outlets were a little less tolerant of the umpires calling the rulebook.

The O.C. Register:

Umpire Jerry Layne tried to show everybody how smart he isn't, and held Angels shortstop Erick Aybar to a standard that few, if any, infielders are asked to while turning a double play.

Halos Heaven:

Once again, fighting the rain, the cold, the Yankees and their umpires...

6-4-2:

...an especially horrible call by second base umpire Jerry Layne that erased a double play when Erick Aybar failed to touch second base, or supposedly failed to do so; the video I saw was inconclusive (his left foot never did, but his right foot might have).

All month, the umpires have been excoriated for missing calls, and the one time they get a controversial one correct, they're excoriated for it. It's gotten to the point where the calls have been so bad, the umps are overcompensating. If they actually start calling strikes from the letters to the knees, we're in for a category 5 shitstorm.

There's already been talk of expanding instant replay to more situations beyond home run calls, but as Jonah Keri of the Wall Street Journal points out shouldn't we be able to get rid of the umpires altogether? The technology used at major tennis tournaments has pretty much put line judges out of business (although they still let them sit in those prime seats so Serena Williams has some to talk to), so that solves all those fair/foul questions. Balls and strikes are even easier to handles since every Major League park already has the "Pitch-f/x zone evaluation system" that the league uses to assess their umpires' ability at the plate. If the Pitch f/x machines are the ones telling the humans what is and isn't a strike, then why do we need the meatbag standing behind the catcher? Just cut out the middle man.

All that's left is tag plays and force out on the base paths. That's simple—radio-transmitting baseballs and pressure activated base alarms that will determine if the ball hits the glove before the foot hits the bag. (Also works for trapped fly balls in the outfield.) And for the occasional rundown, pickoff play, or hit batsmen, we just make everyone wear those Laser Tag sensors. We've had the technology since 1986. What's the hold up?

Or we could just make sure that the best people umpires work the biggest games and also fire those that suck at their job, but that seems a lot less fun. The robots are going to enslave us anyway, so what's the use in fighting it?

Does Baseball Need Umpires? [Wall Street Journal]
Palermo wary of more replay in baseball [Kansas City Star]
Blown calls in playoffs? 5 ways to break ump slump [AP]

Outside of calling balls and strikes, you would think that being an umpire is pretty simple. It requires almost no physical effort and there are very few "judgment" calls that require interpretation of some vague rule during split-second action. (Was that pass interference or incidental contact? Did he establish position before that charge?) Most decisions on the baseball field are very black and white and in the playoffs you get two extra guys so that's even less responsibility for some, yet somehow these guy keep screwing up the most basic umpiring functions.

Let's see if we can find them all....

AL Central Tiebreaker: With the bases loaded and one out in the top of the 12th inning, Brandon Inge is hit by a pitch. (Clothing counts!) Home plate umpire Randy Marsh says he wasn't. Inge grounds out, the Tigers fail to score and lose in the bottom of the inning.

Red Sox-Angles ALDS, Game 1: On two different plays, first base umpire C.B. Bucknor—once voted by players as the worst umpire in Major League Baseball—calls Howie Kendrick safe, even though replays showed 1B Kevin Youklis applied the tags to get Kendrick out. In both cases he fails to score, but the Red Sox lose anyway.

Yankees-Twins ALDS, Game 2: In the top of the 10th inning, Twins catcher Joe Mauer hits a line drive that bounces off Melky Cabrera's glove and clearly lands in fair territory before bouncing into the stands for what should have been a ground rule double. However, left field umpire Phil Cuzzi—who is at the game specifically to call fair balls down his line—rules it foul. Mauer later reaches on a single, but the Twins fail to score and lose in the bottom of the inning.

Rockies-Phillies NLDS, Game 3: With the game tied in the top of the 9th, Chase Utley hits a weak ground ball in front of the plate, but hustles down the line and is called safe at first when the throw is offline. However, replays show that not only did first baseman Todd Helton have his foot on the bag, the batted ball hit Utley while he was in the batter's box and should have been ruled a foul ball. As a result of the play, a runner on base moved to third and later scored the winning run on a sacrifice fly.

Did the ball hit him or not? Did he step on the base or not? What's that white line for? These are pretty basic questions for an umpire and those who are called upon to work playoff games are supposed to be the best of the best. So how have they botched these plays so spectacularly? Are we headed toward another Don Denkinger moment, when a egregiously blown call blatantly costs one team a game—and maybe the World Series?

We better hope not, because if that happens (and even if doesn't, the way things are going) then instant replay review will become a staple of Major League games and the slowest sport in the world will ooze to a molasses-like stalemate. Then you'll see some REALLY bad calls.

Umpire's Gaffe Fuels Talk of Expanding Replay System - washingtonpost.com [Washington Post]
MLB umps battling Letterman for October goat honors [USA Today]
Some players cry foul against umpires at Fenway Park [LA Times]
Umpires continue playoff slump, blow call twice on Utley single [Big League Stew]
Nothing But Complaints [WEEI]

Tschida called a balk on Houston's Yorman Bazardo in Monday night's game. At least I think he did. When Bazardo (which sounds like a Norweigan black metal band) protested, Tschida demonstrated his transgression for him. And for some reason, topped it off with a bit of the Electric Slide.

If you've got a friend who's not a baseball fan, and they ask you to explain what a balk is, just show them this video. It'll confuse them even further.

The Most Animated Balk Call In The History Of Baseball [The Fightins]

Joe Girardi and Derek Jeter, with tears streaming from their blotchy red eyes, remembered painful days of their youths yesterday when Yankee Stadium accidentally hired the guys who were supposed to be working the summer league game next door. Problem was, though, that no one informed the players — silly Mr. Steinbrenner — and they naturally assumed they were dealing with professionals.

When Jeter stole third base in the first inning and got in under the tag, he expected to remain there. Because he was safe, you see. But, umpire Marty Foster told Jeter, the ball had beat him to the base, so the tag wasn't necessary. Yer out! Jeter argued. Girardi argued. The skipper was tossed by Foster, even though Jeter had beaten him there.

"Getting the play right is one thing," said umpire crew chief John Hirschbeck. "But how you handle it and what you say is equally important. It used to be if the ball beat you to the bag, you're out. But it's not like that anymore with all the cameras and replays. You have to make a good tag. You can't just lay your glove down in front of the base."

That's not what they told Foster, who continued to umpire the game, collected his $50 and escaped to the car before angry parents could accost him for his egregious error — not the erroneous call, but the rationale. Every umpire makes mistakes. Some are worse than others, but in the first inning of a July game, the sting of the brainfart would have proven fleeting. Foster's folly, rather, was his juvenile excuse.

All he had to do was tell the truth. My bad, Jeet, get you next time, when you swipe that phantom tag in the ninth inning. Make up a dirty lie. I don't care what you felt, he tagged you, so get back to the dugout. Try to distract him. Hey, who's that sitting next to Kate Hudson in the front row?

That, sir, is a Little League softball coach. You'll be seeing more of her type soon.

Umpire told Jeter he didn't need to be tagged out [Star-Ledger]
Jeter's running error leaves him at odds with Girardi [Daily News]

Poor Dick Stockton had to apologize on Winters' behalf when Fox's TV mics caught the major league ump responding to Kemp's disbelief of the strike zone with some rather harsh words. The idea that gentlemen on the sporting field would address each other so crassly is surely shocking and disturbing, but if you don't like it perhaps you should go fuck yourself. Kidding! (Not really.)

Winters, as you probably don't recall, was suspended in 2007 after a dustup with Milton Bradley, during which Bradley hurt his knee. Bradley claimed Winters called him a "fucking piece of shit" who should "shut the fuck up and play the game" and Bradley then tore up his ACL trying to attack him. So it seems Winters has a bit of a potty mouth. And that fucking pisses me off.

I'm not F**king Kidding You [Central Maine Sports Blog]
Ump curses at player on TV [Smackcaster]

"Chef" over at SportsJournalists.com knows Todd Tichenor. Todd Tichenor is a friend of Chef's. (Maybe.) You, sir, are no Todd Tichenor. Simply titled "A Note," the message is reprinted here in its entirety because its important, dammit. (Is that "America The Beautiful" I hear playing softy in the background?)

This may get me banned, suspended.......whatever.

Doesn't matter much to me.

The people who are bashing the umpire today, have obviously never umpired in any sport in their life.

If you knew anything about Tichenor, you would know that he is married and has 2 young boys, which he sees only for a day at a time very very rarely.

If you knew anything about Tichenor, you would know that he was analyzed (without him knowing) during his first MLB game behind the plate. Out of every pitch thrown, he missed 2 ball/strike pitches. 2 out of over 280.

If you knew anything about Tichenor, you would know that he went to umpiring academy in Florida right out of JUCO, and that when he comes back home during the winter, he substitute teaches at a local grade school.

If you knew anything about Tichenor, you would know that his dad died of cancer at a very early age, and that there is a Fred Tichenor Memorial Softball Tournament that is played every year out here.

If you knew anything about Tichenor, you would know that when he was on the bench playing JUCO baseball, when an ump didn't show up, he would be the first in line to strap on the gear and go.

But......none of you know anything about him.

But I tell you what......if you want it, i'll gladly im you his cell phone number, his personal address where his wife and two young boys are, and you by God give him the riot act, tell him what a horrible umpire he is, how much he sucks, anything that a lot of you gutless, spineless bastards don't have the nerve to tell him, instead ripping him a new one on an anonymous message board.

Yes, he should definitely be banned for that ... the way Rosa Parks was banned from riding buses. That'll do, Chef. That'll do.

A note [Sports Journalists]
Earlier: Todd Tichenor Got His Money's Worth Last Night

Tichenor has actually had a couple of cups of coffee in the majors, umping 81 games in 2007 and 2008, but he was brought back up from AAA to fill-in for Ed Montague at the Metrodome on Thursday and he did not waste any time breaking out the thumbs. In the span of one frame he tossed both catchers and both their managers for (barely) arguing calls. It seems that Todd very much likes to pull the chain.

It started in the top of the seventh when he tossed noted hothead Mike Redmond (12 seasons in the majors with no ejections) after he objected to a close play at the play—that Tichenor clearly got wrong. When Ron Gardenhire went out to object, he didn't fare much better.

"I thought Red was emotional, sure," Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said. "He jumped up, but he's just going to argue a little call. I just thought [Tichenor] pulled the trigger too quick, that's all."

Arguing about about a quick ejection? You better believe that's an ejection.

Ump an equal-opportunity ejector [Star-Tribune]
Jason Varitek, Terry Francona get the ol' heave ho [Boston Herald]
Ejections appear way off base [Boston Globe]
Outta here! Tichenor hits an umpire's grand slam [Big League Stew]
Todd Tichenor Practices Umpiring Prior to Twins v Red Sox [Bob's Blitz]

The league is now using the "Zone Evaluation" system to gather data on balls and strikes and then using that information to prove to Major League umps that they do, in fact, have pigeon shit in their eyes. Unlike QuesTec—the previous Big Brother that has been in use since 2001—Zone Evaluation is already set up in every big league park and will go into operation starting on Opening Day. (Holy crap, that's next week!)

Of course, QuesTec has had no discernible effect on walks, strikeouts, or the profession of umpiring. Some players believe that umps behave differently in parks that don't use the system, but MLB officials insist there is no evidence of that.

"I don't think it's positive or negative," Bruce Froemming, a veteran umpire, said before his retirement in 2007. "It's something we live with."

So basically, this is just another tool that serves no function other than to piss off a union and make everyone who works for Major League Baseball trust the ownership a little bit less. Oh, and probably make some computer software company stupid rich.

New Pitch-Tracking System May Open Old Wounds With Umpires [NY Times]

McClelland was the guest speaker at an Iowa Hawkeye baseball dinner last night, and naturally, the conversation turned to talk of steroids. He says that it was completely obvious to him that many, many players were on the juice, but when you really think about it ... who cares?

"They used it to make themselves better," McClelland said. "I can't fault a player for doing that. It was not against the rules of baseball, so I can't fault a player for trying to make himself better."

I'm tempted to make fun of McClelland for not knowing that steroids actually were against the rules as far back 1992, since, you know ... he's an umpire and everything. On the other hand, maybe what he's really saying is that they were against the rules of the league, not against the rules of the game, which is all he need concern himself with, right? (Players also weren't tested or punished for them, so it's sort of like playing the game without umpires.)

What's worse, is that I can't even make a joke about umps being blind, because even a blind ump calling a game with his head firmly lodged in his own ass could see that these guys were taking something.

"I had a catcher tell me, 'Us peons have to get off steroids; we can't afford them,'" McClelland said. "He said the guys that make the big money, because they put up the big numbers, can get the synthetic steroids, and they can stay on them, and that's not fair.

"What he was telling me is that there were a lot of guys on steroids."

So you take steroids to make more money ... but you can't get steroids without already having money. That's quite a dilemma.

"I'd like to see people kind of get over it," McClelland said. "It was part of that era. In 2004, baseball instituted the ban on steroids. The previous 15 years, you just have to realize there were a lot of people taking steroids."

That's actually completely reasonable. I take back every thing I said about his mother at that Boston game back in '96.

McClelland: Steroids part of era [Iowa City Press-Citizen, via Bugs & Cranks]

I always find it laughable when people argue on behalf of instant replay by saying "the important thing is that we get the call right." Because from what I can tell, those clowns in the replay booth are even worse than the bozos on the field.

As every fan in America can tell you, referees are at best, incompetent hacks and at worst, evil henchman in a worldwide conspiracy to destroy fairness and accuracy. And why are they always out to get your team? That can't be a coincidence, right?

In 2008, they apparently got tired of just fixing games and destroying hope and switched to just straight up using physical brutality to attack and intimidate players. Sure, we try to fight back, but they are a craft bunch, with their little whistles and their balls and strikes counters. They're always plotting something, but we're on to them now.

At least bookies are able to benefit in some small way from all this awfulness. It's about time someone looked out for them.

*******

• In the land blind referees, Ed Hochuli is, of course, their king.

• And Tim Donaghy will forever be their Golden God.

• Although, Scott Foster did learn from the master.

• Olympics? Boxing? Corrupt? Well, I never ...

• Does Doug Eddings owe A.J. Pierzynski money or something?

• In the NBA, sometimes the game is not over, even when it's over.

• Hey, ref! What are you? Drunk? Oh wait, you are.

• This soccer ref probably wishes he was drunk. At least then he'd have an excuse.

• You know you made a bad call when the parents' lawyers get involved.

• Of course, it's not a high school playoff without inadvertent whistles and lawsuits.

• Do you blow your filthy, lying whistle to make your horrendous calls with that mouth?

• Even fake refs can't be trusted.

• We'll always have Duke.

• When all else fails, just don't even show up.

According to Science Daily, umpires tend to make calls that help out those of their own race.

Daniel Hamermesh, the Edward Everett Hale Centennial Professor of Economics, finance professors at McGill and Auburn Universities and a University of Texas at Austin graduate student analyzed every pitch from three major league seasons between 2004 and 2006 to explore whether racial discrimination factors into umpires' evaluation of players. This summer, they presented their findings in the paper, "Strike Three: Umpires' Demand for Discrimination."

"Umpires judge the performance of players every game, deciding whether pitches are strikes or balls," Hamermesh said. "Discrimination affects the outcome of a game and the labor market, determining the pitcher's market value and compensation."

We don't understand this study, at all. Mainly, a look at Major League Baseball's umpires reveals that — according to our count — there are 72 umpires in the majors right now. Sixty-six of them are white guys. Where, exactly, did they get their data? Good luck finding an umpire to study the response to Ichiro ... or any Cubans ... or ... jeez, there's just too much.

Batter Out [Science Daily]

This tactic works best when's it's a Little League game.

Unhappy with a series of calls throughout the game, parents and fans in attendance at a Concord, N.H., little league baseball game last Wednesday expressed their displeasure with the umpires by showering them with vulgarities, threatening them and confronting them face-to-face after the game. The Manchester Central Little League Umpires added that food was thrown at them, including pizza, which hit the referees in the head and in the arms, one umpire said. At one point, the umpires were cornered inside a room.

You know, this tactic absolutely did not work with the late Eric Gregg.

Little League Baseball Umpires Attacked by Fans With Pizza [Fox News]