valentinesday Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Happy Valentine's Day From Giannis Antetokounmpo, "A Freak On The Court And On The Sheets"
Giannis Antetokounmpo got a lovely Valentine’s Day present! Aww! Let’s see what his “sexy little thing” got him!...

Maine Basketball Player Breaks Teammate's Jaw After Fight Over Locker Room Music
On the night of Feb. 14, an officer from the University of Maine campus police department paid a visit to the basketball team’s locker room after an ambulance was called in to pick up a player with a broken jaw. Senior guard Marko Pirovic was taken to the hospital, where he received surgery for two ...

I Am Dying At These Heart-Shaped Pizzas
How was your Valentine’s Day? I masturbated then watched the dog show, though at least 30 minutes apart so as not to make it weird. But some people believe in romance. At least two delivery chains offered customers the option to order heart-shaped pizzas, and America’s hungry lovebirds eagerly oblig...

The Only Valentine's Day Message I Need
This Sunday morning, as I do on every Valentine’s Day, I will wake up to a message from my mother. Last year, it was a long email sent at an ungodly early hour, carrying all of her usual, heartfelt, holiday-appropriate sentiments: “Today is not only about boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives but...

Delanie Walker's Girlfriend Blows Up His Life From His Own Instagram
Titans tight end Delanie Walker likely had a terrible Valentine's Day. From the looks of things, his girlfriend Racine Lewin posted a photo of the couple from Walker's Instagram Saturday, along with a big wall of text that accused Walker of frequently cheating, and announced that Lewin's pregnant wi...

How To Cook Valentine's Day Dinner, Like You Damn Well Should
The first thing to know about cooking for Valentine's Day is that the list of occasion-appropriate food preparations you'll find below was made in consultation with a woman, the only blemish on whose otherwise immaculate record of good taste and judgment is her baffling and indefensible decision to ...

How To Deal With Valentine's Day, No Matter Who You Are
This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday (FYI: It’s tomorrow), making it awfully convenient for those of you planning a romantic weekend getaway and a three-day headache for the rest of us. Let’s face it: This holiday isn’t the greatest no matter your relationship status. (The media/retail ons...

The Kiss Cam And American Sports Fans: The History Of A Romance
To tell the story of the Kiss Cam, let's start with a kiss that happened off camera. On Aug. 8, 2000, Danielle Goldey and Meredith Kott attended a game at Dodger Stadium. At one point, as couples are wont to do, they smooched. Before long, security guards arrived, removed the women from their seats,...

You Can Be My Buddy Anytime: De La Soul's 25 Hour Valentine
For the next 25 hours you can download De La Soul's entire catalog over at their site....

The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...

Here's A Video Of Dogs Saying "I Love You"
Originally published Feb. 14, 2011....

Will Eating Decades-Old Athlete Candy Bars Kill You? A Taste Test
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."...

Valentine's Day Special: The Movie Couples That Don't Belong Together
We've never quite understood the appeal of going to movies for Valentine's Day. Movie-watching is, after all, a solitary activity in which a person sits in the dark staring straight ahead in silence for two hours. But people do it anyway. Perhaps that's because romance is the central activity of rou...

I Think Bernie Parent Wants To Sex Us All
That tingling in your loins? Don't be alarmed. It's natural. Because even if their owners aren't aware, nether regions across North America have a way of knowing when they're about to be served up to a burly French Canadian. Lay down a tarp and prepare for a flood of lovejuice, because Bernie Parent...

Mark Sanchez Asked Santonio Holmes To Be His Valentine On Twitter Last Night
So noted greaseball Darren Rovell tried to steal Mark Sanchez's alleged valentine, Kate Upton, away. Presumably the Sanchize took this personally, offended that his belle would even loiter for minutes in the company of a charlatan like Rovell....

Here's A Video Of Dogs Saying "I Love You"
Originally published Feb. 14, 2011....

Ladies, Now You Know Why Jordan Crawford No Longer Takes Your Calls
"I'm the wrong person to talk to about Valentine's Day. I usually get rid of my shorties around now." [NBC Washington]...

Darren Rovell Gets On One Knee, Asks Kate Upton To Be His Valentine, Is Rejected
The very married CNBC sports business expert Darren Rovell (very married as in his wife is very pregnant) continued his ill-advised campaign of Kate Upton obsession (see: his Twitter avatar and this article) today when after a group conversation about Upton's appearance on the cover of this year'...

The MLB Scout And His Sex Slave: A Baseball Love Story
The life of the baseball scout is a lonely one. Long drives in a pickup to dusty diamonds in forgotten corners of this nation, or maybe the Caribbean or maybe South America. Long days in the bleachers with no companion but his radar gun. Long nights in a Bradenton Motel 6 or a Caracas Sleep Inn, alo...

Handjobs, Butt-To-Butt Action, And Other Sex Secrets Of The Champion Show Dog
For his new book, Show Dog: the Charmed Life and Trying Times of a Near-Perfect Purebred, Josh Dean spent more than a year following a champion show dog named Jack, a young Australian Shepherd. In the following excerpt, Jack—who is owned by a single mother from Pennsylvania named Kimberly Smith—trie...