Pass-catching dongs, to be specific. Lots of crossing pattern dongs.

There was Visante Shiancoe, who was confident enough to ask a female reporter "How'd it look?"

There was Chris Cooley's inexplicable decision to post a picture of his Lil' Cooley on his Web site.

And, of course, Santonio Holmes, who, after his Photo Of Fun was released, never did anything else with his life, ever ever ever nope.

Quite a collection.

But is it it enough to get them in the Hall of Fame? Seventy five percent is the threshold for induction. Vote below: Polls will be open through the weekend.

Tim Orchard, who plays in Tasmania's State League, has reportedly been suspended after whipping out his bits in front of a live TV audience. Orchard found himself in the background of a locker room interview with his teammate, when he figured, "Maybe the folks at home would like to see my wiener?" and the rest is history. Of course, unlike Minnesota's Visanthe Shiancoe—who simply suffered a towel malfunction before a post-game shower—Orchard was fully clothed. So he was willing to go that extra mile to make sure that the world got a glimpse of his junk. Hopefully, he will bring that determination to his upcoming "professional counseling."

The images are all censored so no word on whether Australian Rules players also eschew padding down there.

Aussie Rules Football Player Tim Orchard Flashes His Penis Live On Air [Sports Rubbish]
Footballer suspended for flashing on TV [ABC News]
Club to act on football flash [Tasmania News]

To which I say, what took you so long, California porn industry? (Warning: We not only caution that any links here may be NSFW, but we would recommend spraying down your computer with Lysol).

No word on the offer yet by Shiancoe, the Viking was seen towel-less during post-game Fox TV coverage of their game with the Lions on Sunday. The ensuing media storm soon drew attention from Black Ice, an adult entertainment studio.

"From what we’ve seen, there is definitely a career for Visanthe in the adult industry, if he’d like one,” said Black Ice general manager Tony Santoro. “We would welcome an opportunity to align ourselves with a world-class athlete of Viante’s stature."

Black Ice publicist Scott Stein said the company is unaware of any morals clause in Shiancoe's contract that would prevent him from accepting a contract with the makers of Bubble Butt Barbecue 2.

Warning to Mr. Shiancoe: Read the script before signing anything. I saw the first Bubble Butt Barbecue and it failed to live up to the hype. The writing was weak and I was never interested, although the part of the chef was played with gusto by Shorty Mac, and there was a delightful cameo role by Neil Rackers.

Black Ice Courts NFL Player In PR Stunt [AVN]

That could be true. Kind of. But, Hugh Douglas, former defensive end of the Philadelphia Eagles, says he's not convinced. On today's 610 WIP morning show in Philadelphia, Douglas revealed the not-so-shocking truth that football players sometimes drop their towels on purpose once they find out the media will be around. Douglas took my phone call (for once) and offered to expand, hence completing Deadspin's wall-to-wall dong reporting for the day.

I asked Hugh if he seriously thinks Visanthe Shiancoe knew the cameras were on while he was exposed and he said that while he was playing for the Eagles, it happened so often that it became a running joke.

HD: "Cats'd be dropping their towels all the time, be butt-ass nekkid all the time, man, just trying to be funny. Especially if there were female reporters in the locker room? If they think they got it, they're gonna show their stuff."

(Note: Hugh Douglas is probably the only man left in America who can use "cats" this way and not sound like an idiot.)

HD: "I guarantee you Shiancoe or whatever his name is doesn't give a damn. And I guarantee you that if he's a single man, he's gonna get a lot more ass the next time he goes home."

So, did you drop your towel all the time too?

HD: "No, I didn't do it. But Hollis [Thomas, former Eagle, current Saint] would do it all the time. Anytime there would be a female reporter in the locker room he'd just let it all hang out. Hollis was funny like that. He'd always try to get people to look at him."

Did anybody ever look?

HD: "Oh, we caught a couple of 'em looking. Some would look all the time. But one girl, Courtney Holt? Never ever broke eye contact. "

(Note: Courtney Holt used to be a guest coordinator/producer for Comcast Sportsnet in Philly. She's now a talent booker for the Golf Channel.)

HD: "Yeah, Hollis would always try get Courtney. He'd sit there with his legs spread, rubbing lotion on his nuts. She wouldn't ever look down, though. She was a true professional."

Poor Courtney!:

HD: "Yeah, right? Poor Courtney."

So who else was a chronic towel-dropper?

HD: "Oh, [Al] Harris. Al would find out there would be media around and he'd drop his towel and walk slowly across the locker room. Then he'd be all bending over and shit. He was into it too."

So, you're telling me that Shiancoe knew what he was doing the whole time, that it wasn't an accident?

" I'd never even heard of the guy until this happened. And the more people that know about him now, well, he's not embarrassed about what they know about him. He thinks he's got it and — obviously he does — so he's proud of it."

Thank you, Hugh.This was enlightening. Have a good holiday.

"No problem. You too."

Hopefully, Douglas vouching for Courtney Holt's locker room professionalism, even while she's confronted with yards of athlete junk, is something that will help her get an on-camera reporting job. Just not in New Orleans.

The NFL owns the copyright to all NFL game footage, including the postgame. You need to take down the photos from the Vikings locker room.

Splendid.

Fox Sports seemed to be most embarrassed by yesterday's half-second dong show. The network issued an apology soon after the incident, citing it as an "obvious oversight", but it doesn't appear they'll be subject to any Super Bowl nipple-like fines because of it.

One person definitely not embarrassed by all this is Viking tight end an unwitting flasher, Visanthe Shiancoe, who, amazingly, took the time to talk about it with a female Star-Tribune columnist. He even asked her, "How'd it look?":

"I know, but it's within the locker room, not with the nation but you know, it's not too bad. I didn't just get out the pool."

Bravo, sir. "Shiancoe" seems destined to become the next great penis euphemism, doesn't it?

'How'd It Look?' [Star Tribune]
Fox apologizes for on-air nudity in Vikings' locker room [Twin Cities]

Here we go.

Man, I'd hate to be Chris Cooley right now. But who is it? KOGOD thinks it might be this guy, but I really can't tell at all. Either way, I sure hope Coach Childress doesn't catch wind of any of this.

Whoops. The weekend's almost over, people. Enjoy your penis while you can, and thanks a ton to everyone that sent in images!

Censored image via the delightfully puritanical TSB