Sports Business Journal takes a look at some of the other new shows in the pipeline, like "Shaq Vs.", and wonders why they're being made in the first place. The T.O. Show got more buzz than just about any mid-summer replacement could get and it wound up tied with a re-run of "Fresh Prince" for the 798th-highest-rated cable show of the week. Man, I would hate to see what 799 was.

These shows get some of the worst ratings imaginable and critics won't even be bothered to tell you how terrible they are. (The only one that seems to get any traction at all is "Hard Knocks.") Yet, networks executives can't wait to make more, because they are incredibly cheap to produce and don't require turning no-talent hairdos like Spencer and Heidi into celebrities. At least Warren Sapp used to be able to tackle people.

In other words, you get what you pay for and ... say it with me ... "in this economy" what else can you expect? But why do sports reality shows do so poorly in the first place. They appear to have a ready-made audience of devoted, talkative, spend-happy observers? (i.e., you guys.) Maybe it's because sports fans already have a huge slate of reality shows on their TV watching schedule. It's called "sports."

Low cost, not ratings power, keeps sports reality pipeline full [Sports Business Journal]

Here's an amusing little snag from Awful Announcing, featuring current "Inside the NFL" analyst Warren Sapp and budding home decorator/"NFL Live" analyst, Keyshawn Johnson. Sapp was responding to viewer questions during his "Ask Warren Anything" segment. One viewer was curious about Sapp's thoughts on his former teammate's upcoming "Tackling Design" reality show. Sapp is, well, not impressed.

(On whether he would ever watch Keyshawn Johnson’s reality show about interior design)
SAPP: Me, watch Keyshawn on an interior decorating show? Keyshawn, I knew you were a bitch. And thanks for making it all clear.

And ESPN columnist Jemele Hill, obviously thirsting for retired NFL diva blood, is excited about the possibility of man-on-man bitch-slappery. On her personal blog, she antagonizes Keyshawn about Sapp's comment and encourages him to stand up for himself .

Look, I'm not a violent person, but that strikes me as ass-whupping worthy. When Joey Porter and Brandon Marshall got into their war of words, notice Marshall stopped just short of calling JP a bitch. Probably because you just don't go there.
If I'm Key, we couldn't handle it like gentlemen, we'd have to get into some gangsta shit.

You hear that, Keyshawn? You've been called out, son. Grab your stenciling tool.

Warren Sapp calls Keyshawn a "Bitch" on Inside the NFL [Showtime]
Jemel

On top of all of that, Sapp's appearance on yesterday's NFL Live show was a little unnerving. Imagine Emmitt Smith and Charles Barkley spliced together. Then put that thing on adderall. He rattled on about Favre's "PCP" said something about Favre going "balls to the wall" and then made the always charming armpit-of-America statements about New Jersey and Oakland.

Sure, Sapp's always had that gregariousness about him and has been somewhat of a showman (he was on Punk'd, for crap's sake), but yesterday all told it appears he was a little off. Maybe he's pissed that he hasn't landed a higher profile television gig like some of his other retired cohorts? Or he just didn't like dicking around with a bunch of gamers and bloggers on a gorgeous LA afternoon. I guess plenty of people would want to start choking people if they were handed a similar fate.

Warren Sapp: Not A Fan Of Photographs [First Cut]

No, really, that's what he said. We have no idea how we missed this.

"It was something that was really, really on the edge of like, gay porn. When it's real bad football, that's what we call it: gay porn.



Something you just don't want to watch. Something you just don't want to see on TV. Something you don't even want to talk about. That's gay porn."

We have absolutely zero doubt that when NFL players think of the worst, most vile, wretched notion they can conjure, gay porn is what their brains land on. Except for Aikman, of course.

(Come on, Troy, we kid!)

Sapp Retired After Too Much Gay Porn [The Realests]

"You get your food poisoned," Sapp said at Raiders headquarters. "They don't want you out there on Sunday. You don't think about it. It just got crazy. I know it's real, especially in Philly, come on."

Sapp said that one time at a restaurant in Philadelphia, when their food arrived he switched plates with a teammate, and that night the teammate "was throwing up all the way to New York."

Sapp, who joined the Raiders before the 2004 season, said he has not had food poisoning after leaving Tampa Bay. "I've been good out here on the West Coast. I guess they're more liberal out here."

Ha, schizophrenia is always fun. But we do have to commend Sapp for bringing back the classics.

Sapp Says Tampering of NFL Players' Food 'Real' [MSNBC]