The entity known only as SeminFace sends along this pic of a fan confident in his Capitals, but less confident about his spelling. But his aborted homemade sign raises the question of when exactly he decided to give up. Was it when he noticed there wasn't enough room to finish "endangered species?" Was it when he realized he spelled "endangered" with an M? "Panthers" without an H? I say none of the above, because he still hasn't noticed "are."

My girlfriend just said to me: "Are you sure you want to post this? There might be something wrong with this guy, mentally. Charities give those people blocks of seats all the time. Just think about it before you post." Well, I'm thinking about it, and I'm posting it anyway.

A more persuasive sign, though less effective on the final score, is this one from reader Thomas at last night's ASU/USC game. But I don't think most of the country needs to put things in perspective in order to hate the Trojans.

•••••

A happy and healthy Sunday to all of you out there in Internet land. Just a reminder, our evolution didn't hinge on passivity.

Believe it or not, NHL training camps open this weekend and that means press junkets galore. Ovechkin is the cover boy for 2K Sports' NHL game this year, so that seemed like as good a time as any to invite a couple of pasty-faced bloggers out of their basements for a little throwdown. In Russian!

Since he was on roughly Hour 36 of his whirlwind tour, Alex wasn't that talkative (unless you talk Russian), but he was very interested in winning the games. He seemed genuinely upset when some kid—who won a video game tournament to get there—bested him in the first game. (He demanded a rematch.) Fortunately for him, I did not put up such a valiant fight.

Yes, I lost. BUT! He had already played two games against other people and I think that he was able to use that valuable game experience against me. Also, he had the crowd behind him (the fans at the NHL Store loved him and he was mobbed with every move he made) and his handlers supplying him with water mid-game. Water! I did not receive these valuable performance enhancers. Plus, who wears a jersey with their own name on it to a game? Come on!

AND! I didn't want to point this out to his face lest I get a mouth full of Wiimote, but before our game he "inadvertently" switched from the Capitals to the Penguins—and then scored two of his goals as Sidney Crosby. I'm not sayin' ... I'm just sayin' is all.

I have many more excuses if you'd like to hear them.

(Top Photo: Michael Cohen/Getty)
Ovechkin Dismisses Boomer Esiason, NYC [D.C. Sports Bog]
Alexander Ovechkin made his way through NYC in style to promote NHL 2K10 [NHL.com]

At least we have two more chances to get some kind of thrilling finish to round two. Not that two goals in eight seconds wasn't exciting. Or watching Pittsburgh take batting practice on Simeon Varlamov. And one of the big stars in this marquee matchup did come through—an assist and two goals for Sidney Crosby, including a nail in the coffin breakaway. But it's safe to say that fans were hoping for a little more from this showdown and it didn't quite deliver. Maybe they'll get it from the Red Wings and Ducks? This is why you should always have a backup plan. Or two.

Fleury's theft on Ovechkin sparks Penguins [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
Sidney Crosby steals spotlight in Game 7 showdown [Sporting News]
Washington Capitals Crushed; D.C. Waits On Its Sports World To Change [State Sports]

Steve Mazefsky is a die-hard Penguins fan, but he actually bought a custom Scott Hartnell Flyers jersey just to annoy the Philadelphia forward during the playoffs. Well, he did alter it a little bit—it says "FARTSMELL." (He even got it autographed!) Mazefsky's rec room is coated in a residue of Pittsburgh memorabilia and he actually owns about 60 sweaters, several of which were ordered simply to razz opposing players. There's really no point to this story other than to say that there aren't a lot of people willing to take things that far and if you are that type of person, then you scare me.

It's also the only way I could think off to lead into tonight's Game 7 between the Penguins-Capitals. It will be the first of three seventh games in the next two days, and there isn't much else to say except, holy crap this has been an exciting round of playoff hockey. If you would like to hear more this biting, yet insightful anaylsis, I'll actually be providing some of it on "NHL Live" tomorrow (12-2 on XM/Sirius; also on NHL Network and NHL.com; toot, toot.) Because when you think "Deadspin," you think hockey. I just hope they don't ask me questions about Canadian landmarks.

Seriously, watch the game tonight. How often do you get to see two of the best players in any sport—on two pretty good teams—square off against each other in a do-or-die matchup like this. If this Game 7 can't get people to care about hockey, then I'm not sure what will. Maybe a third period knife fight or something.

MEET A TRUE SUPERFAN: STEVE MAZEFSKY [Mondesi's House]

The Capitals and Penguins played their third overtime game in four tries last night, with Washington pulling this one out to force a much anticipated Game 7. The series has had everything. Close games, great saves and the big stars have delivered the goods, too. (Thirteen points for Ovechkin, six goals for Crosby.) Plus, anyone who stuck around on Versus last night saw a 12-goal shootout between the Blackhawks and Canucks that was nothing to sneeze at. A great night for hockey and it wasn't the first or the last of this year.

This series, and this whole Stanley Cup playoff, have been exactly what the doctored ordered for NHL. We tease Versus, but their coverage has been mostly excellent and—most importantly—covered. Between them and NBC nearly every game has available on TV and there have been a lot of good ones in both conferences. The league is slowly but surely working its way back from oblivion and hyped up battles like this are just the kind of attention that it needs. There are two Games 6 tonight, then Caps and Penguins do it again on Wednesday, and soon the Blackhawks' own young stars will have get their chance to show off. So if you're not paying attention, then start.

Unless you don't even like hockey, in which case, screw you.

Penguins, Capitals take series to the hilt
Chicago Blackhawks' poster boys wrap up improbable second-round win [ESPN]

The Capitals have a 2-0 lead now and Pittsburgh will find itself in a must-win situation at home on Wednesday night, but no one can complain that the two superstars have not delivered so far. The two gentlemen traded hat tricks last night and have four goals a piece in the series—and Sidney Crosby was robbed on a "all-time" save by Simeon Varlamov that's been replayed everywhere, so there's been more than enough to talk about.

The "can you top this" vibe going on in Game 2 certainly raises hopes for more competitive wackiness in games to come. Crosby actually complained to officials after Capitals fans caused two hat-tossing delays in celebration of Alexander Ovechkin's third, but something tells me Sid the Kid wouldn't mind returning the favor back in Pittsburgh. And he'll probably have to if the series is going more than four games—which is something the NHL desperately needs. A seven-gamer between these two teams—and these two players—doesn't even have to be on par with Celtics-Bulls in order to give the league a new lease on life and put hockey back in the "National Conversation."

So either the Penguins need to get their act together or Gary Bettman needs to get some crooked officials in there ASAP.

Crosby, Ovechkin stage an epic battle [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
Ovechkin, Crosby trade hats; a few too many for Sid in loss [Puck Daddy]
Game 2 Memories: The Crosby Taunters [DC Sports Bog]

And really, who could blame her?

Sidney Crosby got the scoring started five minutes into the first period with his fifth goal of the playoffs. The Capitals answered with a goal from the Dave Steckel before Alexander Ovechkin put them ahead with a goal off on a two-man advantage. Mark Eaton scored the equalizer midway through the second period, setting up what should be a dramatic finish over the final 20 minutes.

Thanks to reader Lawrence for the screen grab.

Update: Tomas Fleischmann just scored to give the Capitals a 3-2 edge in the early minutes of the third period.

Update II: The Update Returns: The Caps hung on to win 3-2. In about five minutes my entire neighborhood will be filled with red-clad people honking the horns of their SUV's in celebration on their way back to Northern Virginia.

Most observers were guessing a one- or maybe two-game suspension, since it is the Stanley Cup playoffs, where everything is magnified x10,000. Similar hits have drawn two or three games in the regular season and even though the hit on Betts was clearly a late blow, the intent to injure was not blatantly obvious. But Betts did break his orbital bone and he was knocked very silly (he won't play tomorrow either) and the NHL probably figures this is a great time to send a message, the Capitals further playoff hopes be damned.

Washington Capitals' Donald Brashear earns six-game suspension [ESPN]
Time To Get Serious About Head Shots [TSN]

The Rangers had a chance to close out their series in Washington on Friday, but instead got lit up by the Caps 4-0. Now they have another shot to end things at home, but because their coach saw fit to get in a water fight with a fan during Game 5 they will have to do it without him. Tortorella was hit with a tasty beverage, but it looks like he may have been the one who started it.

Capitals' season ticket-holder Claudette Chandonia told The Washington Post the bottle Tortorella threw hit her in the head. "He was losing and he was frustrated, I guess," Chandonia said, according to the report. "I couldn't believe it. I looked up, and he was throwing the water bottle — and then it hit me right here, right in the head, and it bounced off me."

Fans in the seats around Chandonia confirmed the bottle-throwing and said Tortorella also squirted water through two panes of glass before throwing the bottle, according to the report.

"Good job by our fans. Our fans are one more player for us. They do what they have to do for us," Capitals star Alex Ovechken said Saturday morning at the team's practice.

You may recall Tortorella's stance against the "embarrassing" antics of wild cards like Avery—who he has mostly helped keep in line since the two were united in New York. But you know ... it was just a little water. Since when are coaches not allowed to cool off fans with a refreshing drink? Or maybe a stick to the face?

New York Rangers coach John Tortorella suspended for Game 6 [ESPN]
John Tortorella Goes Nuts After Capitals Fan Dumps Beer On Him [Total Pro Sports]
Capitals-Rangers Preview [AP]

The major takeaway from the story is that Ovechkin likes to have fun, which is both shocking and appalling to people like Don Cherry. However, it is also very lucrative for luxury car makers like Mercedes Benz. Ovechkin took Nichols for a spin in his new SL 65 supercar that he boasts of taking up to 180 m.p.h. He boasts about a lot of things actually. He wants to let everyone know—without actually letting them know, you know?—that he is someone who enjoys a little unspoken depravity. (Although the infamous strip club receipt that is making the email rounds is almost certainly not his. The club in question is in South Africa, which is not exactly convenient for post-game relaxation therapy.) Bottom line: Party Man likes to party and the fact that people are bothered by it only makes it more fun for him.

Oh, and we sort of ribbed ESPN for their Nick Adenhart/NASCAR flub that was really just an unfortunate coincidence and not anyone's fault, but you do have to wonder if any of the producers of E:60 thought about the juxtaposition of Alex's "play hard, live fast" lifestyle with another story featured later in the program. It was about former Dallas Cowboy DB Dwayne Goodrich, who is currently serving a 12-year sentence for vehicular manslaughter. If you want to do something, do it, I guess.

E:60 - Alexander the Gr8 [Full video @ ESPN]

It's been my experience (through observation) that hockey players have no problem generating female interest, but Washington is going the extra mile with "Capitals Scarlet," a new fan club devoted to the testosterone-deprived members of their rooting base. Their website has all the latest Caps news, plus sexy team bios and primers on hockey rules and terminology. (Actually, I think a few of our male commenters could use that.) Best of all, the club hosts cocktail parties and other lady-centric events that can guest star friendly (and single?) Capitals players. It's like "Sex and The City," if Mr. Big got punched in his teeth more often.

Look ... hockey needs fans, guys want someone pretty to sit next to them at games, and chicks dig athletes with funny accents, so this is certainly not the worst idea the NHL ever had. Plus, they couldn't return these headbands to the manufacturer so somebody better buy them.

Female Hockey Fans of the Washington Capitals [Scarlet Caps; photo via; thanks to Steinberg]

The game was tied after two periods, but Alexander Ovechkin scored two goals and an assist in the third period as Washington handed the Penguins yet another defeat. They've lost eight of their last ten, are slowly sinking out of the playoff race, and if that wasn't bad enough Sidney Crosby left the game in the third after a collision along the boards. But other than that, things are great.

As for the Malkin/Ovechkin feud, no blood was spilled, but the pair did mix it up a bit and Alex's rather excitable reaction after his first goal suggests that he really, really wanted to win. Or he needed to pee. Either way.

Elsewhere...

Detroit 4, Anaheim 3: The Red Wings scored two goals 35 seconds apart in the third period to beat the Ducks on the road and move within three points of San Jose for the conference lead.

Ottawa 3, Atlanta 2: The Thrashers have lost 12 of their 14 games ... at home. For the first time in a month, Ottawa has a whopping two-game winning streak. Let's just move on.

Chicago 4, Buffalo 1: The Blackhawks shut down the Sabres, but lost defenseman Duncan Keith to a hard hit. Wasn't he the manager of the Partridge Family or something?

Highlights of all Games [NHL.tv]
Crosby hurt in painful loss to Capitals [Post-Gazette]

The two teams already have a crap load of star power, as they feature the top three scorers in the league, but there's also some international intrigue to spice things up a bit. Former bestest buddies Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin were roommates at the 2006 Olympics, but for some reason that no one seems willing to talk about, the young Russian superstars are now the bitterest of enemies. In their last two meetings, at the end of last season and the beginning of this one, Ovechkin went out of his way to try and deliver some hard hits on Malkin, a dastardly strategy also known as "playing hockey." But this feud has allegedly moved beyond the rink to include—what else?—a nightclub brawl back in Russia between Ovechkin and Malkin's agent. Or did it?

"Ovechkin is a great player, but every time he hits me, I don't know why," Malkin said.

I like to imagine Malkin saying that quote while holding a teddy bear and sniffing back adorable tears. Why is he so mean?

Whatever the case, the league's top two offensive studs hate each other and that makes for good ratings—or it would if these games were televised. Throw in Alex Semin's old comments about Sidney Crosby's punk-like abilities ("I think that if you take any player, even if he is 'dead wood,' and start promoting him, you'll get a star.") and you've got the makings a rough, hotly-contested game. One that the Penguins desperately need to win after losing seven of their last nine. Let's see some of that Mudbug intensity!

CAPITALS, PENGUINS SET TO CARRY HOSTILITIES ON TO THE ICE [TSN]
Capitals-Penguins Preview [Yahoo]

For a brief moment in time, 6'7" tall Leonhardt got to see his dream of being a pro athlete come true. Thanks to a combination of injury to starting goalie Jose Theodore and scheduling conflict for their AHL goalie Simeon Varlamov, the Capitals were left without a backup goalie to start Friday's game against the Senators. Fortunately they had their team website producer waiting in the wings.

"Every dream come true," Leonhardt said. "Growing up in Canada, playing since I was 4. It was just very surreal. It was a blur, went by real quick."

Although he didn't play, Leonhardt — whose nickname is, you guessed it, "Stretch" — enjoyed the thrill of his life as he dressed in jersey No. 80 and went through the usual player's pregame routine, including having his skates sharpened. Teammates greeted him warmly during pregame warmups as he fended off shots from superstar Alex Ovechkin and others while tending goal at the Verizon Center.

Varlamov showed up halfway through the first period of the Capitals' 5-1 win and Leonhardt was back in a shirt and tie. No word on whether he changed in the locker room or a phone booth.

• The Devils and Rangers duked it out in a high scoring ice battle, ending in a 8-5 New Jersey win. The Devils almost blew a four goal lead before finally pulling off the win late in the game. I'm sure the New York and New Jersey fans handled this one well.

• The Bruins took down the Thrashers 7-3 while Boston's Phil Kessel scored in his 14th straight game, giving him the league's best scoring record. Oh, thank God. Another dominating Boston sports team.

The old expression "I'll tear off your head and shit down your neck" is alive and well in the NHL, or at least with the Boston Globe web site, where unfortunate typos make the readin' fun!

At least I assume it was a typo; I wasn't there. [Boston Globe]

Let's see, who can name these guys? The person who names the most correctly wins a corn dog.

Hopefully This Is Not A Metaphor For The Season Ahead [Jasper's Rink]

No. 3 Washington Capitals (43-31-8, 94 Points; Last made the playoffs with a guy named Cassidy behind the bench and a guy named Jagr on the ice) vs. No. 6 Philadelphia Flyers (42-29-11, 95 Points; Hindenburg-on-skates last season)

The young lass pictured here is Stormy, who was named "Philly's Hottest Flyers Fan" two years ago by rock station WMMR and hopefully has been treated well by both time and gravity since then. Besides some welcome eye-candy — even with the presence of the Flyers jersey —she's included here to help make a salient point: That there hasn't, to my knowledge, been a competition to find the sexiest Washington Capitals fan; Google "hottest Capitals fan," and one of the first hits is for a hot-dog eating contest, which is either completely contradictory or oddly ironic.

This isn't because the Capitals don't have attractive hockey fans (they do) or that D.C. doesn't have a decent rock station (it does). It's more indicative of the seditious attitude that's uniquely Philly, and carries over to the ice in the form of this year's Flyers: Characterized as a collection of thuggish barbarians since their flurry of suspensions to start the season and through Scott Hartnell's mission to take out Sidney Crosby last week. While the focus should be on Ovechkin's first journey into the postseason spotlight, it has shifted to what dastardly tactics the Flyers will use against him and his Capitals. NBC's Pierre McGuire expects the series to be "one of the bloodiest" and "downright ugly."

Looking back at the playoff history between the teams, there will be blood. But you don't have to dip all the way back to Scott Stevens and Jeff Chychrun to measure the animosity between these two franchises; hell, Ovechkin's first NHL fight was against Mike Richards of the Flyers.

So, for a moment, let's wallow in the fantasy of crimson ice and battered bodies; of amped up crowds filled with Redskins fans and Eagles fans; of a true Patrick Division war of attrition.

Until, that is, we wake up and realize that just like every other Flyers playoff year since Ron Hextall stopped playing like an all-star, it all comes down to the goat-in-waiting between the pipes in Philly.

Key Match-Up for Washington: The Irresistible Force vs. The Immovable Object. The first stroke of bad luck the Capitals have had, at least since Nick Backstrom decided to join the Penguins for a few seconds, occurred when the Flyers jumped over Ottawa into the six hole. Washington had owned the Senators this season, and was rather evenly matched with them. Philadelphia offers some match-up problems for the Capitals: A little more offensive depth, a little more grit up front, and that infamous ferocious streak. While I don't believe this will be the rabid wolf-vs.-helpless-bunny showdown some fans think it is (two words: Donald Brashear), the Capitals will have to answer the bell against players like Steve Downie and Riley Cote.

Key Match-Up for Philadelphia: The Damper vs. Momentum. The Capitals enter this series having played a playoff game every other night since, roughly, the middle of January. I think at some point they hit the wall, and that point could very well be in Game 4 with the Flyers up 2-1 on their home ice.

Worst Case Scenario for Washington: The zebras only call one out of every three penalties against Philadelphia, Richards and Briere outscore Ovechkin and Semin, and Bob Gainey turns out to be correct that Cristobal Huet isn't a playoff goalie.

Worst Case Scenario for Philadelphia: The Capitals kick the living shit out of the Flyers in the first two games in D.C. and Marty Biron, who has as many Stanley Cup Playoff stats as Miley Cyrus, joins the long, sad history of Flyers playoff goalie flops.

Well, If You're Going To Twist My Arm: Flyers in six. All due respect to the Capitals, who've had a great season, but Biron's been in a zone lately and I'll take the Flyers' forwards against the Capitals' defense. As much as we'd all like to see an Ovie/Sidney conference final...

Vital YouTubeage: Before Donald Brashear started kicking ass for the Capitals, he used to kick their asses:

No. 3 Minnesota Wild (44-28-10, 98 Points; Like Vin Diesel, bit by a Duck last season) vs. No. 6 Colorado Avalanche (44-31-7, 95 Points; Uninvited to the Playoff Pants Party)

EA Sports has already simulated this year's Stanley Cup Playoffs, but looking at Colorado's roster brought me back to those Super Nintendo (Chalmers) days. The Avs have a collection of name-talent that the computer would never let you trade for on NHL '97, so you had to release players from one team and then sign them on your team in order to construct your puck juggernaut.

Of course, this series isn't a video game and, more to the point, this isn't 1997. The Avalanche are going to attempt to win this series and the Stanley Cup with a roster anchored by a potentially-retiring Joe Sakic (39 in July) and the Porcelain Puck Messiah himself, Peter Forsberg. It's one of the most oft-quotes stats on the NHL Closer, so once more with feeling: Colorado is nearly unstoppable with Forsberg in the lineup, having gone 8-1 in the games in which he's played. He creates a killer line with Paul Stastny and Milan Hejduk, and juices what is otherwise the worst power play in hockey. Unfortunately for Colorado, his health is about as reliable as using a chewed piece of Juicy Fruit to plug a hole on the space shuttle.

As a Devils fan, I feel for Wild fans. They're still suffering through the same bullshit comments about their style of play, with the "boring hockey" cracks and the Admiral Ackbar "IT'S A TRAP!" jokes. Truth is that the Wild play an exciting brand of transition offense, peppered with offensive standouts like Marian Gaborik (seen here in rubber duckie form), Pierre-Marc Bouchard, Pavol Demitra and Brian Rolston. But convincing someone the Wild don't trap when Jacques Lemaire is still their coach is like convincing someone "The View" doesn't make your brain melt out of your nose when Elizabeth Hasselbeck is still the co-host.

Key Match-Up for Minnesota: Defenseman vs. Offensemen. The Wild are missing two key defenders to start this series: Nick Schultz (appendectomy) and Kurtis Foster, who's out for the season with a broken leg. While team defense remains paramount and Minnesota still has a capable group, facing down Sakic and Forsberg with a third of your defense on the shelf ain't cool.

Key Match-Up for Colorado: Jose Theodore vs. Minny Keepers. The NHL's comeback player of the year — and its leading spokesperson on the dangers of Propecia — has been the constant throughout Colorado's injury-ravaged season. He needs to continue to be that calming influence and steal a game in this series. Meanwhile, Niklas Backstrom will need every once of cool he has behind that depleted blueline. The good news for him is that there's no overtime skills competition in the postseason, which is also good news for the bed he usually shits when it's time for the shootout.

Worst Case Scenario for Minnesota: Peter Forsberg plays in every game, and there's only four of them.

Worst Case Scenario for Colorado: The Wild unleash their inner Hanson by playing Derek Boogaard, Chris Simon and Todd Fedoruk, and Ian Laperriere ends up in the ICU after Game 1.

Well, If You're Going To Twist My Arm: Avalanche in seven. Forsberg plays in five games, and Colorado wins four of them. And no, I'm not picking this just so we can see a Detroit/Colorado second-round smackdown. OK, maybe I am.

Vital YouTubeage: Yo, this kid is pumped up for the playoffs. And he's got the Web cam to prove it:

OFB turned to their buddy Dmitry Chesnokov of SovetskySport to make SovSports' wacky interview with Ovechkin more palatable to English-speaking fans. Some choice cuts:

Q. When will Sidney Crosby score 50 goals in a season?

OVECHKIN: Maybe tomorrow! The guy is extremely talented. He could pick up a video game console, pick Pittsburgh as his team, and score 50 goals in one gaming session.

Q. Is it possible to score a goal with a head in hockey?

OVECHKIN: It is doable. But you shouldn't try - because you can injure yourself very seriously, so that you won't even realize whether it was you who scored the goal, maybe you won't even remember your own name. You use your head to think. And also, as boxers say, you use it to eat.

Q. What smells do you like, and what smells you can't stand?

OVECHKIN: I can't stand bad breath. And I love how my girlfriend smells.

Q. Is it possible to play hockey on Mars?

OVECHKIN: Why not? There are open air games in the NHL already. Although we might have to make a window in the schedule a little longer - it might take a while to get to Mars.

Q. What would you say to President George W. Bush if you saw met him on the lawn in front of the White House?

OVECHKIN: "What's up, dude? How's life?" And let him pretend that he doesn't know who I am.

Pimp. A few years ago, it was commonplace to call Ovechkin the Magic to Sidney Crosby's Larry Bird. As their personas have developed on and off the ice, a more appropriate comparison would be that Ovechkin's the Jagger to Sidney's McCartney. Which would make Mario the Lennon, and Viktor Kozlov the Charlie Watts, I suppose.

Alexander Ovechkin, Stand-Up Comedian [On Frozen Blog]

Photo from an aces collection of Ovie photos on Flickr.