• Giants LB Antonio Pierce is out indefinitely with the dreaded "bulging disk" in his neck. "I had no idea that what happened a few weeks ago could keep me off the field. I didn't think it was that serious. [ESPN]

• The Mike Florio/PFT Story as told to the NYT: "We've created a monster," he said, "and we have to keep feeding it." [NYT]

• White Sox closer Bobby Jenks doesn't see why his fatness matters. [Chicago Sun-Times]

• Mighty Mite, Mike Lupica says the Knicks are being disrespectful to their fans by not signing Allen Iverson. [The Sports Hernia]

****

Good morning. It's Saturday, so let's paint this blog. Rock out with your smocks out.

Screengrab: H/T Reader mjsah

•If he's going to bang his way through Hollywood, why not try a little acting? Derek Jeter has a cameo as a homeless man in the new Will Ferrell movie.

•Holy shit. I don't ever want to see the Bears on national TV ever again (not that I get the NFL Network, but you get the idea). Jay Cutler passed the ball to 12 different players; five of them on the 49ers.

•Maybe Jamal Lewis had a point about Browns practices being too rough? DE Keith Grennan ruptured a patellar tendon during yet another one of Eric Mangini's "opportunity drills." If the point of these optional practices is to give players the opportunity to prove to coaches that their knees won't explode, Grennan failed to impress.

•Joe Namath's yellow Lab was declared dangerous and must be muzzled, after it attacked a UPS driver and a nurse. Expect Joe to be running the wildcat offense for his retirement community's recreational period football team soon.

•Cam Ward will miss a month of action after having his leg sliced by a skate blade. Want the only proof you need that players aren't as tough as they used to be? Clint Malarchuk was back in goal a week later.

•An eighth grader was suspended for shaving Bengals stripes into his hair. The school claims it violates their code of conduct on hairstyles, but I think his real crime is being a Bengals fan.

•Tired of the flowchart meme yet? Too bad, because here's a really good one for NHL suspensions.

•Finally, because it's sweeping the Interwebs, it's the Dock Ellis LSD No-Hitter. In cartoon form!

•Tony Gonzalez (and a strategically placed Mrs. Gonzalez) go naked for a PETA ad. Think it's ironic someone on the Falcons, of all teams, to do an anti-fur ad? Well, it's not; Michael Vick never wore fur.

•The Raiders are actively cooperating with the NFL of Tom Cable's Punch-Out!! because they hope to be able to fire Cable "with cause," and not have to pay him. Or they could keep him on staff, and not have to pay any assistants whose careers he ends.

•A Notre Dame assistant called out Navy's head coach for his postgame comments and repeated chop blocks. Never mind the fact that it was Veterans Day; any team who tries to cripple the Fighting Irish will always have the public's sympathy.

•Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino win Gold Gloves. They're obviously not talking about batting gloves.

•In a battle of teams named after primary colors, the Red Wings demolish the Blue Jackets 9-1. But if they could somehow combine forces, they would blend into the Purple Parrots, the absolute best team on Legends Of The Hidden Temple.

•Jim Riggleman "wins" the hotly contested Nationals manager sweepstakes, and will sign a one-year contract. Second prize, obviously, was a two-year deal.

•Finally, we've got Duke recruit Kyrie Irving starring in his high school production of High School Musical:

•Not only do SEC replay booths not use HD screens, but they say it's not worth making the switch. Also, that play where Patrick Peterson clearly stayed in bounds? They accidentally DVR'd The Mentalist over it.

•Want to know what makes Sidney Crosby so good? Evgeni Malkin. In the sixth game without the real MVP in the lineup, Sid The Kid extended his point-less streak to five games, and the Pens fell to Boston.

•A four-minute replay review overturned Brad Miller's buzzer-almost-beater, and Denver hung on to top Chicago. Imagine that! The length of the game was extended in order to make the right call, and no one's calling for David Stern's head! You listening, Selig? Of course you're not. You fell asleep halfway through Leno.

•What's Larry Johnson worth? Not moving to the bottom of the waiver wire. No one claimed the, um, expressive RB, and he's free to sign anywhere. Except with the Chiefs. My sources tell me they have no plans of signing him.

•If Mauer, Jeter and Teixeira were hoping their defense would set them apart in the MVP race, well...all three won Gold Gloves. Also, Placido Polanco emerges as a dark horse candidate.

•A judge has blocked North Dakota from changing their nickname from the Fighting Sioux. In these trying times, with two wars being fought, it's just insensitive to name a team the Fighting anythings.

•The Tribune's Rick Morrissey said Joakim Noah would never be a useful player, and promised to eat the column if he was proven wrong. Well...

•Between the NBA All-Star game and the Super Bowl, Dallas police are expecting six figures worth of prostitutes to flood the Metroplex. Thankfully, (tonyromo) the star athletes of the city (joshhamilton) would never (dirknowitzki) get involved with women of ill repute.

•Know the name Anze Kopitar yet? You probably should. The breakout Slovenian superstar led the Kings to a dominant victory over the Stanley Cup champions, announcing their legitimacy and teaching me that Slovenia is apparently a wholly separate country from Slovakia.

•Are the Cavs even a top three team in the east? They didn't look like it last night, falling to the Bulls. Tonight will be interesting, as they travel to New York where LeBron will see his future. (Whether that future is his team dominating opponents, or losing with the Knicks depends on your point of view.

•Baseball's hot stove league kicked off in earnest, with Jeremy Hermida going to Boston, Bobby Abreu staying in Anaheim, and Jason Bay and Matt Holliday making their intentions to blow town clear. For all those teams looking for a power bat in the outfield, let me remind you that Barry Bonds is still available.

•Here's a list of the top 10 sideline reporter bloopers. Your clear number one involves double penetration, and it's not even a Vikings sideline reporter!

•Pittsburgh safety Ryan Clark is unlikely to play Monday night in Denver, because of a rare sickle-cell trait that makes exertion in high altitudes dangerous. Should the Broncos win, expect dome teams to pump a little oxygen out of their stadiums when the Steelers come to town.

•Finally, I would be remiss in shirking my duty as a conduit for your Yankee hatred. Here's a collection of celebration videos, capped off by the most touching: a man and his crazy West Indian mother.

•It's supposed to count for nothing, but no. 25 Syracuse lost to the Division II Le Moyne Dolphins, and I'd be shocked if voters don't take this into account the next time they do the polls. While the Orange haven't lost to a DII school in modern history, they did lose to Drexel two years ago, which might be worse.

•The brief Edgerrin James era in Seattle has mercifully come to an end. I was going to lead with this story, but I honestly don't think he's touched the ball enough to be photographed in a Seahawks uniform.

•Dave Bing easily won four more years as mayor of Detroit. Though "won" might not be the right word.

•Dan Snyder apologized to fans for the Redskins' terrible season. He had also planned to erect signs around the city to the same effect, but those were unfortunately confiscated.

•The NBA is down to three undefeated teams: the Celtics, Suns and Nuggets, while the Nets, Pacers and Warriors remain winless. Now I know early success isn't necessarily indicative of future performance, but I'm gonna say, yeah, this is pretty much how things are going to go.

•Clippers owner Donald Sterling paid $2.7 million to settle a housing discrimination lawsuit. He had originally offered Marcus Camby's expiring contract to help the victimized homeowners get under the salary cap, but that was rejected.

•Via Outside The Boxscore, we have a creative ad from a San Diego bail bonds company, noting the Raiders were in town:

•It's not another "Natinals," but rather Pedro forgetting to button up. Also Charlie Manuel forgetting to take Pedro out early enough (that sounds familiar). The Yankees even the series, sending it to Philadelphia. Hey, at least we're not seeing another sweep this year. (Thanks to reader Jay for the screenshot.)

•Vince Young will be back behind center on Sunday. Best case scenario, he replaces LenDale White as the rusher who'll spell Chris Johnson.

•The first AP poll is out, and Kansas is your overwhelming number one. But more fun is seeing who barely snuck in. Old Dominion and Holy Cross received one vote apiece. What, they're letting Nancy Lieberman-Cline and Bill Simmons vote now?

•The Big Lead has a good read on Jozy Altidore's stunted development. It's troubling, and with Charlie Davies likely out next summer, he's a more crucial piece than ever. For those of you who are confused what I'm talking about, it's soccer. Just move on.

•North Carolina takes down No. 13/14 Virginia Tech on a last-second field goal. It's been two and a half years...is it okay to not root for Va Tech now?

•Fifty thousand St. Louisans step off the ledge; Albert Pujols says he wants to be a Cardinal for life. Still, when people want to be somewhere for life, they sign long-term contracts like the ones the Cards have repeatedly offered. Just saying...

•Proving that Angelenos dole out their fandom based on how close to the playoffs each team is, here's a poll from the LA Times where USC comes out on top as LA's favorite team

•Finally, from Fail Blog, we bring you the only seat at Neyland Stadium that has a seatback:

•At least one of the six umpires was actually paying attention, but bad calls wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Cliff Lee was nigh unhittable, and Philadelphia takes the opener.

•Had your fill of high-and-mighty Pennsylvanians yet? Sidney Crosby had a hat trick by the second intermission, and the Penguins have the best record in the east. But don't expect to hear about it from the fans; they can't hop on while their Steelers bandwagon is still moving.

•The Chiefs suspend Larry Johnson for two weeks, which is really just one game and the bye week. Normally teams are loathe to lose the production from their star, but I'm not sure they'll notice his 2.7 yards per carry when it's missing.

•Maybe it's foolish to panic after two games, but...maybe LeBron should start panicking after two games. His triple-double goes for naught as Toronto sends the Cavs to their first 0-2 start since his second season.

•Orlando Thomas: not dead! Which is good. He's still battling ALS though, which isn't good.

•The Buccaneers name first round pick Josh Freeman their starter, because what's the point of benching your talented young QB when you're not winning anyway? Apparently the Titans also have a young rookie they should be starting, one Vince Young. Haven't heard much about him.

•Finally, it's been making the rounds all day: the behind-the-back touchdown pass.

•Think it was an odd year? In 2009, baseball saw 8 players hit for the cycle, three steals of home, a no-hitter, a perfect game, and an unassisted triple play. Perhaps the most mathematically improbable feat of all: Mark McGwire is back in baseball.

•The defending champion Lakers opened their season in "we played the Clippers" form, getting outshot and outrebounded but still winning. Kobe takes the early league lead in shots taken, a lead he is sure to never relinquish.

•Shaq had 10 and 10, for literally the most ineffectual double-double possible, as the Cavs fell to Boston on opening night. Rasheed Wallace didn't earn a technical, and Kevin Garnett's knee didn't explode, so all in all a good night for them.

•Speaking of the Celtics, Glen Davis will be out a couple months after breaking his thumb in a fight with a childhood friend. He'll be suspended, forfeiting a good chunk of his $3,000,000 salary. Hell, for less than half of what he stands to miss, I'll be his friend and not break his finger.

•Jimmy Rollins went on Leno and predicted Phillies in five. It was easily the funniest thing said on Leno's show since it premiered.

•Titans owner Bud Adams wants Vince Young to take over as starter. Bud Adams is 86, so I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just doesn't remember how VY played when he was starting.

•Finally, in honor of A.J. Burnett's and Shane Victorino's postgame tradition of pieing teammates, a video from the archives; Soupy Sales nailing Bob Costas (go to the 1:00 mark).

•Ole Miss is trying to crack down on students chanting "The South Will Rise Again" at the end of one of their fight songs. With an anemic four touchdowns in SEC play, it makes you wonder when they heard the fight song enough to criticize.

•The Angels shook off a seventh inning Yankees rally with one of their own, and sent the series back to New York, where it's supposed to rain all weekend. At this point, the ALCS will end sometime around game three of the World Series.

•Looks like Bud Selig's watching the playoffs closely, even if the umpires aren't. Baseball will announce that only veteran umps will work the World Series, breaking with the tradition of including one first-timer. I'm not sure this is the answer. You know who has worked a World Series game? Don Denkinger.

•Liverpool's team shop has sold out of beach balls, and they plan to search Man U fans for them before Sunday's match. Actually, I don't even have a comment. That's pretty damn hilarious.

•Frank McCourt has fired his soon-to-be ex-wife from her position as CEO of the Dodgers. Well, shit, if all it takes to get a nice severance package is to sleep with the boss for 30 years...does someone have Nick Denton's number?

•Caroline Wozniacki was up 7-5, 3-0 when bettors around the world began putting money on her opponent. Wozniacki then retired one game away from victory, and the WTA is looking into it. Obviously something's fishy, because people were betting on women's tennis.

•You might be hearing about this a little later on this morning, if your esteemed editor ever wakes up. The Phillies are heading back to the World Series after disposing of the Dodgers in five games. Is Daulerio excited? Let's just say Center City Philadelphia isn't the only one with a greased pole right about now.

•Patrick Crayton is a little ticked his coaches didn't tell him before the media that Miles Austin usurped his starting role. With more yards and TDs in a single week than Crayton's had all season, I thought this is one of those things that didn't need to be said.

•Also mad at management: Cedric Benson says the Bears tried to blackball him from football after his two arrests. Funny, I thought it was his incompetence at football before his two arrests that did it.

•FOX is adding Ozzie Guillen as an analyst for the World Series. Given his unrivaled ability to string together profanities, we might see the first 70-second delay.

•A dozen members of the Browns have come down with the flu, and the NFL will allow them special roster provisions to restock the depleted positions. Unfortunately, both quarterbacks are perfectly healthy.

•Yes, I know we're bloggers, but we would never make like one San Antonio blogger who brought cookies to the locker room for Manu Ginobli. This blog only reports on personalities caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

•Finally, via Fark, we get a 12-year-old on the receiving end of a Taekwondo KTFO:

•The Tampa Bay Lightning got their yucks from a good-old fashioned game of "strip shootout," where if you don't score on a breakaway, you remove a piece of clothing. The players said they got really excited by the game, which gives a whole new meaning to "high-sticking."

•The Bears ink Jay Cutler to a two-year extension. While he hasn't exactly set the world on fire, he's a better option than Rex Grossman, Brian Griese, Chad Hutchinson, Jonathan Quinn, Craig Krenzell, Kordell Stewart, Chris Chandler, Henry Burris, Cade McNown, Jim Miller, Shane Matthews, Steve Stenstrom, Moses Moreno, Rick Mirer, Dave Kreig, Eric Kramer, Steve Walsh, Will Furrer, Peter Tom Willis...

•The Yankees take a 3-1 series lead on the ample back of CC Sabathia. Accusations of Sabathia throwing a Rivera-like spitball were refuted when FOX cameras picked up a hot dog vendor in his line of sight, indicating it was only drool.

•Tennessee Papa John's were offering one free topping for every Titans touchdown this weekend. Hope you like cheese pizza.

•In advance of the NFL's upcoming jaunt to London, one British tabloid attempts to bust 10 myths about the NFL. Sadly, the part about a coin toss being used to decide tie games is no myth.

•The NBA expects to have their referees back on the court in time for next week's opener, and none too soon. Did you see that Cleveland game last night? The Mavs were only getting whistled if they actually fouled LeBron!

•To cap the morning off, we've got some video of a ladies room fight at this weekend's Texas/OU game. More like Yellow River Rivalry, amirite?

•Panic in the Gateway City: Albert Pujols says he's in no rush to sign a contract extension. He made the comments to a Dominican radio station, perhaps reminded of the fact that they were the first fellow Dominicans he's seen since moving to St. Louis.

•First blood goes to the Phillies, who take game one, 8-6. Brad Lidge pitched a scoreless ninth, which for him has the equivalent improbability of a World Series perfect game.

•The NBA has officially changed the traveling rules, now allowing players two steps before being whistled. Let's see... at 63 years per step added, it'll only be 2198 before the refs actually call the rulebook.

•A New Jersey running back claims one of the reasons he didn't recieve a 1-A scholarship offer is because he's white. Sure it might suck, but let's see if he complains when he can hail a taxi.

•AC Milan is asking US Soccer to pay up after Oguchi Onyewu went down against Costa Rica on Wednesday. Gooch has played all of 30 minutes for the Rossoneri this season, so it's kind of like bitching about paying for a gym membership you never use.

•Darrelle Revis and Chris Duhon will be making their comedy club debuts next week. If you don't think they know funny, you've obviously never watched a Jets draft or Knicks game.

•Finally, I give you this video without comment:

•Bosh won a suit against a cybersquatter, and gained control of 800 domain names. On a related note, welcome to Boshspin.

•Our top story this morning: In a preseason loss to the Celtics, Chris Bosh led all scorers with 21 points in just 28 minutes. He also added four boards and three assists, and is clearly primed for an MVP-caliber season.

•In non-Chris Bosh news, Michael Vick reportedly declined an invitation to visit with eight of his former pit bulls. Good move. I know a trap when I see one.

•Stafon Johnson appeared healthy and smiling, but didn't speak at a press conference yesterday. He's a walking metaphor for the Trojans: looks good, but falls silent under the spotlight.

•On the eve of the NLCS, Dodgers owner Frank McCourt is separating from his wife. California is a community state, so the former Mrs. McCourt is entitled to exactly half. She will receive two losses to the Phillies.

•Boise State squeaked past Tulsa, probably the team with the best chance at ending the Broncos' undefeated season. And when you read that, you realize just how relative it is and why the BCS is a joke.

•Well, fuck it, if he can't heal himself, how can he be the Chosen One? LeBron has the flu, and he and the team is being tested for H1N1.

•Want to know how the young season is going for the Maple Leafs? Their defensemen are headbutting in own goals:

•Charlie Davies shattered his leg and fractured his face and arm. A doctor says recovery will take 6-to-12 months, making the World Cup an improbability. But things could have been a lot worse. For another passenger, they were.

•The Yankees are leaning toward going with a three-man rotation in the ALCS, keeping Joba Chamberlain in the bullpen. Considering ESPN actually put him in their Bodies Issue, the less exposure for Joba, the better.

•It's clear now that the real Gilbert Arenas is dead, and has been replaced with Bizarro Gilbert. He was fined $25k for refusing to talk to the media.

•Billy Wagner might hang it up, saying "[he's] got nothing left to accomplish." I agree. Fourteen September innings for a team that gets swept in the first round is truly the pinnacle from which to retire.

•Billy Gillispie settled with Kentucky for $3 million over his dismissal, even though he was working without a contract. Wonder where your donations are going, alumni? It ain't building new dorms; it's stuff like paying millions to someone who was legally owed nothing.

•Is a Greek basketball team sending death threats to the agent of an American player clamoring for unpaid wages? Sounds fair, if we can threaten Jake Tsakalidis for overpaid wages.

•Finally, it's like a BCS meeting, but with monkeys! So...it's like a BCS meeting.

•Adam Wainwright blamed Matt Holliday's oopsie on him "losing it in the towels." (Seriously.) Cole Hamels could have, but didn't, blame it on the baby. Boston has no excuses.

•The SEC Commish says he sees no reason for a "public hanging" when officials make bad calls. Instead he prefers the Soviet style, in which they are taken into a soundproof room and shot behind the ear.

•Tony Romo says he won't let his critics beat him with words. He did not say he won't let his critics beat him with game-changing interceptions.

•The US's World Cup qualifier against Honduras tomorrow won't be seen on American television. If Jozy Altidore scores, and no one would be watching it anyway, does it make a goal?

•Just when the Patriots find a solid number one RB — bam! Torn ankle ligaments for Fred Taylor. Any disappointment is mitigated by the fact that the standard Fred Taylor contract is for four games.

•J.P. Losman finally lives up to the hype; too bad he did it in the UFL. He threw for two touchdowns and (Super Bowl champion!) Dede Dorsey rushed for two as the Las Vegas Locomotives win the inaugural UFL game.

•Courtesy of the Global Sports Fraternity, fullbacks are born, not made:

•Did you hear Lopez Tonight is coming to TBS? Day 1 of the playoffs went just as planned, with the Phillies, Yankees and Dodgers all winning. Wait, back up. The Dodgers? I guess whoever said they have no pitching was mistaken. Getting 3.2 innings from Randy Wolf is more than they could have hoped for.

•Dez Bryant is ruled ineligible not because he met with Deion Sanders, but because he lied about meeting with Deion Sanders. Let this be a lesson to our younger readers: if your parents ever catch you doing something bad, it's best to be honest and tell them you were with Deion Sanders.

•Allen Iverson may miss the Grizzlies' season opener as he recovers from a hamstring injury, but let's get real here: if you're counting on Allen Iverson in 2009 to be a crucial part of your team, you're probably not shooting for the stars anyway.

•Your injured quarterbacks update: Donovan McNabb probably, Tim Tebow maybe, Eli Manning maybe not. JaMarcus Russell isn't injured, but is listed as doubtful to play "football."

•Phoenix pulls out a win and forces the WNBA Finals to a deciding fifth game. This was exactly what the league didn't need; there's no way anyone will be paying attention to the WNBA once the UFL starts up tonight.

•Stars broadcaster Daryl Reaugh predicts Dallas will win their opening game. They don't. Now Reaugh's springing for free tickets for all in attendance. Let's hope he doesn't make the guarantee again; have you seen Marty Turco lately? Reaugh may have to spring for season tickets.

•We close with a link to the top ten hits in youth football. Does it make it sadder or funnier that they're children? We say funnier. A highlight:

•Despite MLB.com's merchandise on offer (thanks to reader Nathan for the screencap), the Twins won the right to get swept by the Yankees. If you want more details, I think Dash is still liveblogging the game.

•Shaq and LeBron looked good together in their first game, but call me after Shaq has 80 games on that odometer. And it's not a preseason game. Against the Bobcats.

•At least Miguel Cabrera's drinking led to a humorous police report in addition to what you've already read. In August, Cabrera "taunted an overweight 15-year-old boy" and had to be escorted out.

•A vendor died of a heart attack while servicing the coffeemaker in the Dodger Stadium press box yesterday, which can't bode well for the team. Or at least the media members who want coffee.

•It's Brett Favre news, but don't stop reading. The gunslinger was named the league's most overrated player in an unscientific poll of his peers.

•The Brooklyn Fishing Derby is being held this month, and it's a real thing. So that means the most likely catch, an empty can of StarKist, will not count.

•Courtesy of reader Jeffrey, we have a camerawoman getting a little too caught up in the excitement of the Twins' victory:

•LeGarrette Blount could be reinstated by Oregon, in another example of a team overreacting to morning-after headlines then backing down when it's out of the news. Or maybe Blount just beat up Chip Kelly until he let him back on.

•Hockey kicked off the season last night, with early favorites San Jose and Boston getting blown out. But Toronto lost too, so at least we know we're not in the bizarro NHL.

•Big surprise: Kimbo Slice is likely to find his way back on The Ultimate Fighter. MMA fans, he's not going to go away unless you stop watching his shows and buying his PPVs.

•Brett Favre says that although Brett Favre would love to beat the Packers on Monday night, Brett Favre isn't motivated by a desire to get revenge on the team that Brett Favre feels mistreated Brett Favre. Where's my Guiness world record?

•Here's a great analysis of the NCAA's new rules regarding letters of intent. They're more ironclad now, so recruits are stuck with their school forever, or until they jump to the NBA after one year. Or to Europe right away. Whichever comes first.

•14-year-old Alexis Thompson is one stroke off the lead at the LPGA Classic. To put that in perspective, that slacker Michelle Wie was in kindergarten when Thompson was born.

•Here's an amazing bowling shot. I did this once, but it was accidental. Also, the people in the next lane weren't nearly as excited as I was.

•Rodney Harrison answers T.O.'s "you took steroids" with "at least I won a championship." Guys, guys, let's not fight. Can't we all agree that Harrison was on a championship team because he took steroids?

•A judge refused to dismiss the lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger, probably because, like us, he's enjoying the assorted insane details about the plaintiff that seem to emerge fortnightly.

•The good: the Phillies clinch the NL East, calling on Brad Lidge to finish the ninth. With two outs already on the board. And a seven run lead. Yup, this ship looks seaworthy heading into October.

•The bad: Jamie Moyer is done for the year after suffering three torn tendons. He's still under contract for next year for $8 million, but who could have seen this coming when they gave a 46-year-old a multi-year deal?

•Michael Vick signs an endorsement deal with Nike, shocking the country. Not because of the dog thing, we're over that. We're shocked because Vick has done fuck-all for his team, and looks to maintain that pace. (UPDATE: "Lies!" says Nike.)

•Stafon Johnson is resting after surgery, and even thanked fans for their support on his Twitter. Oh good, who needs intact vocal chords when you've got Twitter?

•Mats Sundin calls it a 20-year-career. Normally this is where I'd throw in a joke, but come on hockey fans, I wrote two posts for you tonight. Two! That should be enough for you this week.

•Front row seat? Check. Glove, even though you're too old for that? Check. Shit-eating grin? Check. Yes, the Happy Youngster caught another HR ball, this time off the bat of Prince Fielder.

•I will make this a meme if it kills me. Keeping the spirit alive, here's an acoustic cover of Colby Rasmus Fire Burning In The Outfield: