• "Sasha Vujacic scoring 20 points in 28 minutes is crazy!" — Acam23

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "Being a Gator fan I don't agree with you lot. But I agree about the 5th year of eligibility." — MCUFGators1

(Re: Beano Cook football eligibility story).

• Being a burnout, I don't go to class a lot. But I believe in the 9th year of college. (ClueHeywood)

• Being a Gator fan, and a 28 year old male who happens to state that 'Mariah Carey is my favorite singer,' I have absolutely zero credibility.- MCUFGators1 (ASox)

• Being a Gator fan, I wear jorts.-Whitelegs6969 (Chief Illiniwek)

Lindsey Dickinson elects to go by "Dick Dickinson" for reasons known only to him. Maybe it should have been considered something of a warning. The former youth football coach in Illinois was enough of a community presence to have a golf tournament named after him. My guess is they've changed that since authorities discovered his large collection of violent child pornography.

On Wednesday, a 64-year-old Dickinson, who goes by Dick though his given first name is Lindsey, was sentenced to six years in prison in connection with those charges.

He was found guilty of downloading and sharing an extensive and violent child pornography collection - more than 1,300 computer images and an additional 11 disks with child pornography were hidden in a wall of the attic next to his home office - that included pictures and videos of boys being bound and beaten, according to prosecutors.

After his arrest, the Pioneer team immediately cut ties with Dickinson - who was known as an affable guy, a proud grandfather and an all-around family man who would dress up as Santa Claus each year.

Note to self: if I ever have kids, never take them to a mall Santa. In fact, I may not be able to even watch Bad Santa again. Okay. That's a lie. It's hilarious. A pervert Santa is cool, so long as the perversion isn't pederasty.

Police fired tear gas as the brawlers lit firecrackers and tried to tear down fencing separating the stands from the field.

Eighteen people were stabbed during the melee, said Manuel Infante, spokesman for Cali's Emergency Prevention Committee. They were treated at the stadium and taken to a local hospital. Another 60 suffered bruises and other minor injuries.

A young pregnant woman and three police officers were among the wounded, the Red Cross said.

Tensions flared over referee Wilman Roldan's decision not to call a penalty kick against Cali. America protested the no-call, players traded blows on the field and America coach Diego Edison Umana got into the fray, elbowing his Cali counterpart Daniel Carreno.

Anyway, we apes can sympathize.

To recap, three North Carolina players were abducted and fondled at knife point by two woman (and one enforcer guy who made them stay in place). It looks like an initially consensual situation that suddenly, bizarrely, turned bad.

The other two [players] apparently had some consensual sexual contact with the women, but became uncomfortable and wanted to stop, Whitney said. At some point the players' hands were bound with tape. One of the players called 911, and police arrived about 3:30 a.m., finding two of the men in their boxers. The third player was clothed, Whitney said. One player said when he asked a woman to stop touching him, both Taylor and Washington began punching him in the head, Whitney said.

In one account given in court Thursday, one player said Lewis stood naked with a butcher knife at his neck, that the player's pants were pulled off and that someone tried to tie his hands with a belt.

See what we mean? At first blush, funny story! Football players molested by women! Wee! But when you toss in the butcher knife to the neck part — oh, and the eventual robbery part — it's somewhat less amusing. Though we bet Butch Davis still recruits the women.

Women Accused Of Sexual Assaults On UNC Athletes [News And Observer]

On Craig's List Los Angeles, a fan is looking for a date in the most frightening place.

I am a sports fanatic. I have a fantasy of being fingered with a large foam finger—preferably a Lakers foam finger but I'm flexible. If interested hit me up. 420 and nacho friendly....

Uh ... yikes. We're just gonna leave that use of "flexible" alone.

Sports Fan Looking For The Same ... [Craig's List]