At Wimbledon, the most decorous of all the major tournaments, a squabble over a player’s sweaty towel, flung into the crowd at the end of a match, has the tennis world all worked up.

On Tuesday, American Jack Sock tossed his game-used towel into the crowd. A young preppy lad seized the towel at the same time as an old preppy lad, and a brief tug-of-war ensued. The old guy said something to the young guy and the young guy let go.

The old man looked like an asshole, but in the tennis world, mild impropriety cannot stand.

Judy Murray, mother of World No. 1 Andy Murray, weighed in:

And then the brands made their moves:

Everyone is far too concerned about a sweat-drenched towel.