Tenzin Gyatso is the 14th Dalai Lama, the latest in a long line of reincarnations of Avalokiteśvara, the bodhisattva embodiment of compassion. He's also an insufferable homer who loves free hats.

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Inspired by this morning's visit to the University of Maryland, at which he donned a Terps visor, we went back through the archives to see if we could pin down the Dalai Lama's loyalties. He's a pure mercenary, just wearing the colors of the home team wherever he goes.

Psh. I bet he didn't even go to UCSD.