Here is a video, taken before yesterday’s game between the Cardinals and Pirates, that perfectly encapsulates just how insufferable both Cardinals fans and ballhawks can be.

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We begin in the right-field bleachers at PNC Park, where a few fans have gathered in hopes of snagging some batting-practice homers. At one point, Cardinals outfielder Tommy Pham catches a fly ball right in front of the assembled ballhawks, and proceeds to get a little snippy when they ask him to hand over the ball.

“No! No! How many balls have been hit up there already?” Pham barks.

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To which one incredibly bratty teen replies, “We’ll see how far you make it in the big leagues!”

The thing you should always remember about heckling players during batting practice is that they can hear everything you say, and are probably just the right combination of bored and tired to refuse to let you get away with that shit. Pham tells the kid to go fuck himself, more or less, at which point the crew of ballhawks turns into a pack of whimpering babies.

“You know that coach should be over there, on him, like, ‘Look, come on, you can’t do that.’ Is that the Cardinal Way? To talk to a minor like you want to fight him?” asks the man behind the camera, crushing pearls to dust in his hands.

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Tommy Pham put a whiny Cardinals fan in the trash, and that’s good.