Jimmy Haslam—did you buy a fuckin' team to watch Brian fuckin' Hoyer go THREE AND FUCKIN' OUT EVERY FUCKIN' SERIES? That's a functional recap of today's first half in Pittsburgh, but our very loud and very bald hero goes on for another two and a half minutes for good measure.

Sure, Hoyer finished 19-31 for 230 yards and a touchdown, and nearly pulled off the comeback. But will you let that get in the way of enjoying lines like, Put fuckin' Manziel in, you bald-headed motherfucker? You shouldn't.

H/t to Dr. Doughstax