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Here's tan, wealthy soccer person Cristiano Ronaldo, either getting a massage or having psychic-surgery performed on him poolside in Vegas, possibly to remove any lingering diseases that may have been left behind by some of his recent sexual partners. But either way — you can't do this in private? Look how embarrassed that woman looks. And that masseuse.

More photos at TotalProSports

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Good morning. It's Thursday. Sculpt something massive.