[Update: Case Was Dismissed] Hulking MMA Fighter Terrorized By Petite TV Reporter

[Update: Domestic-dispute charges were dismissed, according to the Albuquerque Journal.]

Jose Villaseñor, a 6-foot-tall, 185-pound cage fighter with a professional record of 27-8, was allegedly battered by his ex-girlfriend Ilana Gold, a 30-year-old TV reporter and former professional figure skater. She stands 5 feet tall and weighs 110 pounds. You better believe there's more to this. Ridiculous crimes ahoy!

According to the Albuquerque Journal, this tiny woman "reached out of her car window and pulled the drawstring out of Villaseñor's hooded sweatshirt and refused to give him his garage door opener back during an argument." When Albuquerque police arrived, she was charged with battery against a household member and larceny. That's right: Pulling the drawstring out of someone's hoodie constitutes battery in New Mexico, most likely because of the huge inconvenience of having to put a drawstring back into a hoodie.

The report goes on to state that Gold had called the professional MMA fighter (who has one foot and 75 pounds on the former ice princess) 50 times in two hours and intimidatingly waited outside his apartment in her SUV.

Long story short, Gold apparently believes Villaseñor was cheating on her and was not going to be ignored. It is sad to see love flame out like this, but the pair should be happy to know that their amusing final showdown will be immortalized forever.

TV Reporter Arrested in Domestic Dispute [Albuquerque Journal]

*****

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Don't forget to DVR the big game while you're watching The Big Bang Theory.