Ever since getting popped with a 162-game performance enhancing drug suspension based on information that MLB obtained by strong-arming Miami steroid peddler Anthony Bosch, Alex Rodriguez has denied ever taking performance enhancing drugs. Now, thanks to documents obtained by the Miami Herald, we know for certain that Rodriguez did indeed use PEDs, or at least what he thought were PEDs, that he received from Bosch.
Rodriguez admitted as much during a meeting with the DEA, which was building a criminal steroid case against Bosch, on Jan. 29, 2014. In exchange for immunity, Rodriguez told the DEA everything:
According to a written "report of investigation," Rodriguez admitted paying Bosch for supplies of testosterone cream, lozenges laced with testosterone (aka "gummies") and human growth hormone injections.
"Rodriguez injected the HGH into his stomach," the DEA report stated. "Rodriguez said Bosch told him the HGH would help with sleep, weight, hair growth, eyesight and muscle recovery."
Rodriguez also described how Bosch gave the ballplayer "tips on how to beat MLB's drug testing," according to the DEA report.
The secret? According to Rodriguez, "Bosch advised him to only use mid-stream urine for MLB drug testing. Bosch told Rodriguez not to use the beginning or the end urine stream."
This isn't exactly revelatory—everyone in America already assumed that Rodriguez was on the juice—but the good news is that we all now know of a fool-proof way to beat a drug test. We also get to imagine A-Rod fumbling with his piss cup as he tries to control his stream, and that's fun.