• Tennis: Maria Sharapova def. Justine Henin-Hardenne, 6-4, 6-4. Nike evidently has invented the first ever cocktail dress/athletic wear.
• MLB: Padres 4, Giants 5. Barry Bonds is slowly catching fire. Not literally, unfortunately.
• College Football: Ohio State 24, Texas 7. Apparently, Matthew McConaughey can just go from luxury suites to the sidelines whenever the hell he feels like it.