Baseball Page 1487 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs: American League
And down the stretch they come! A look ahead at the final few weeks of the regular season, and why your team is doomed, in capsule form. Today, the American League ... East • 1. Tampa Bay Rays. Record: 85-56. Magic number: 20. Big strength: Evan Longoria is back after a stint on disabled list with a...

MLB Closer: Grand Slams, Extra Innings and Joe Torre
Toronto catcher Gregg Zaun hit a game winning Grand Slam in extra innings to shut down Tampa and cut the Rays' lead in the division to two games. The Blue Jays' Lyle Overbay had a pair of solo home-runs during regular play, but the Rays tied the game up in the ninth with a three-run inning. Zaun's g...

Mr. Met Will Shield Your Children From Online Predators
Watch out evildoers, Mr. Met is now savvy to the ways of the Interwebs. He is ready to kick some serious online predator ass. The Mets are having their Internet Safety Day on Saturday, and there are plenty of fun Internet safety activities planned. I'm pretty sure. Actually I have no idea, so let's ...

Even Bathroom Doors Hate the Yankees This Year
When things aren't going well for your team there is no end to the obstacles confronting them. Every day you get online and a new disaster has occurred. Even when you can't see them coming. Such as this story. Jason Giambi split his eyelid walking into the bathroom door of his hotel. Giambi told th...

The 600 Club
Fun pregame activity for Florida Marlins players: Guess the attendance. Wednesday's opponent at Dolphins Stadium: Atlanta Braves. So Marlins reliever Joe Nelson does a head count and guesses, 418 fans. He was way off. The true count: 600. Each fan had his own personal usher. But was this a record fo...

Instant Replay II: Rise Of The Machines
Let the record show that the first use of instant replay in Major League Baseball was used on Wednesday to confirm an Alex Rodriguez home run in the Yankees' 8-4 win over Tampa Bay (a more deserving recipient there has never been). But wait, was it the first? Stacy Long of the Montgomery Advertister...

Chase Utley Ain't No Broad, According To Charlie Manuel
As the Phillies maintain their pursuit of The Bastard Mets in the National League East, there were some questions about whether or not this team was capable of hanging on through this final month of the season due to an overall lack of clubhouse leadership. There are no shit-stirrers, save for the o...

No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...

Do Not Mock The Power Of The Taco
In case you haven't noticed, we're into September and the Tampa Bay Rays are still in first place in the AL East. This is no longer a joke, people; they could actually win this thing. The Red Sox relegated to the wild card race? The Yankees, out of the playoffs entirely? How did this happen? The Ray...

A Tale Of Two Cycles
I guess Stephen Drew isn't a big name, except for writers of slash fiction. All he did on Monday was hit for the cycle, and AP called him Scott Drew (11th graph). Later Monday, Adrian Beltre also hit for the cycle. What are odds of two players hitting for the cycle on the same day? About the same as...

Koby Clemens Proves His Worthiness As Rightful Heir To Dushbag Throne
Koby Clemens, the squatty-looking 21-year-old catcher and son of Roger Clemens found himself in a little bit of legal trouble over the weekend when he and two of his minor league teammates were arrested after a disturbance outside of Mac and Bob's ("Best Salem area Restaurant 2004" ) early Sunday mo...

Sabathia One-Hits, Possibly No-Hits Bucs
I'd say this trade has worked out well for the Brewers, wouldn't you? CC Sabathia was ridiculously dominant again today as Milwaukee beat the Pirates 7-0, strengthening their hold on the NL wild card. Sabathia only allowed one piddly little hit, and according to ESPN, even that has yet to be finally...

Kid Who Fell Onto Field Further Traumatized By Dopey Matt Lauer Interview
It pays to be a klutz in Philadelphia: The kid who tumbled from the stands onto the warning track at Citizens Bank Ballpark on Thursday woke up the next day to new-found celebrity, collecting a bunch of Phillies memorabilia, game tickets and a trip to New York for an interview on the Today Show. The...

Moon Over Parma: Those Indians Are White Hot
Has anyone noticed that the Cleveland Indians have won 10 in a row? And 16 of their past 19? Excitement is at a fever pitch along the Cuyahoga, where they're talking division title, ALCS, and World Series! (Checks AL Central standings. Carefully folds newspaper, slowly rises from desk and leaves roo...

Ozzie Guillen Bids Farewell To His Personal Lord Voldemort
Reaction to Jay Mariotti's resignation from the Chicago Sun-Times continues to pour in — there hasn't been this much freewheeling glee since the announcement of the end of World War II — and of course Ozzie Guillen is leading the hurrahs. While admitting that his own tenure in Chicago most assuredly...

So, Yankee Stadium Takes This No Moving During "God Bless America"-Thing Rather Seriously
Remember a little more than a year ago when George Steinbrenner, inflated with patriotic fervor, imposed a laughable rule that instructed security officials to ban anyone from "excessive movement" during the 7th inning rendition of "God Bless America." Granted, most New Yorkers seemingly abide by it...

Alex Rodriguez And The Art Of The Double Play
Let it be known that the Yankees officially succumbed in the AL East last night; time of death 10:27 p.m., EST. It was all Alex Rodriguez's fault, of course. The only question is, what shall we call him after his 0-for-5 performance in a 7-3 loss to the Red Sox? Boo-Rod? A-Flop? A-Rod And Out? A-Wad...

This Is Why Rock Fights Are Fun
So, there was this predictable exchange between the front desk guy in my apartment building and another guy as I went out to grab some smokes while the Phillies were down 7-1 in the 4th inning last night to the Mets. "Of course they'd come down to earth. Take 4 from the Dodgers then they get blown o...

Presenting The Unbreakable Wooden Bat. Pedro Cerrano Approves
First man split the atom, then he invented the toaster pastry, and now this: A New Jersey man has developed the first unbreakable wooden bat. Ward Dill, an MIT graduate, put his Radial Bat through the paces on Tuesday, promising that it will never shatter, will not make that annoying "ping" sound, a...
