MLB Page 1224 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The A's Are Hopeless And Heartless
The Athletics are bad. They are last in the league in hits, total bases, RBIs, batting average, slugging percentage, and OBP. (Semi-silver lining: they have grounded into the fewest double plays, but only because no one's ever on base.) They're not mathematically eliminated just yet, but man, if eve...

Derek Lowe Lets Everybody Know He's Done For The Day By Slamming A Cooler Full Of Ice
After he gave up seven earned runs on nine hits in five innings against the Tigers this afternoon, Derek Lowe was probably going get lifted by Indians manager Manny Acta. The Cleveland broadcast crew noticed that someone—Scott Barnes?—had begun warming up in the bullpen, but they didn't know for sur...

The Mets Are Shamelessly Selling Commemorative Tickets To Johan Santana's No-Hitter For $50 Each
You see those tickets up there? They're from old Shea Stadium in 1969, the Amazin' Mets. Five bucks bought you a loge seat for the NLCS, and ten bucks bought you one for the World Series. That's a good price. The loge had a nice view. I would have enjoyed seeing the Miracle Mets' miracles from there...

Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Files For Bankruptcy, Faces Federal Investigation
We presume this is how 38 Studios' lawyers opened their conversation with Curt Schilling: "What do you want first? The bad news, or the worse news?"...

Watch Mark Reynolds Strike Out 100 Times In Two Minutes
Last week, Baltimore Orioles first baseman/third baseman/designated hitter Mark Reynolds broke the record for fastest player to 1,000 career strikeouts. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the record had belonged to Russell Branyan. But Branyan didn't get to set the record until 2010, when he w...

There's A Naughtily Named Pitching Matchup In The National League Today
Check it out: Petco Park this afternoon will host a hilarious sadomasochistic pitching showdown between Marquis and Cain! Thwack! You've been very naughty! Double entendres in baseball can't get much saucier than that....

Better Know An Umpire: Dan Iassogna
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

The Twins Couldn't Even Give Jeff Manship A Jersey With His Name Spelled Correctly
Poro Jffe Mansihp. Hs'e bene ni teh Minnestoa orginzatoin sinec 2006, adn hs'e boucned bakc adn forht bewteen teh minros adn teh Twisn sinec maknig hsi bgi-leauge deubt ni '09. Hee wsa juts callde upp fro teh firts tiem thsi seasno Mya 27, adn lsat nihgt wsa hsi firts appearacne ni na awya gaem, os ...

Better Know An Umpire: Ted Barrett
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

There Are Two Relievers Who Are Doing Really Absurd Things Right Now
The Cincinnati Reds have played 54 games, officially one-third of their 2012 schedule. And the Angeles de Anaheim have played a few more games than that. We're at a point in the season when peculiarities morph into real, dependable success. That means we have no choice but to pay attention to Aroldi...

Yankees Tickets Are A Dollar, Seats Are Empty, And They're Trying To Blame StubHub
I'm going to tell you something, and then I'm going to ask you a question. The Yankees are having attendance issues. They aren't selling enough tickets, and for the ones that are being sold, they're being undercut by StubHub, which offers them for well below face value. Now the question: do you feel...

Jonathan Papelbon Found Not Guilty Of Thoughtcrime
Pap’s not mad at you, AAA-callup umpire D.J. Reyburn. He’s just disappointed. Disappointed that you’re so bad at your job. You “probably need to go back to triple A.”...

Do Mets Fans Wish Someone Else Had Thrown Their First No-Hitter?
It's the love-in that dare not speak its name: Are Mets fans disappointed that Johan Santana threw the first no-hitter in Mets history?...

Philadelphia Drops Its Third Straight, And The Fans Can't Bear To Watch
Jonathan Papelbon couldn't keep the Dodgers off the board in the ninth, allowing a leadoff Dee Gordon triple & subsequent single that gave the Phillies their third straight loss and dropped the squad back to .500. The sight was simply too much for some Philadelphians....

How A Career Ends: I Was The No. 1 Pick In The MLB Amateur Draft, And Now I'm A Cautionary Tale
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today, with the MLB amateur draft beginning in a matter of hours: Pitcher David Clyde, the No. 1 pick in the 1973 draft and now an object lesson in how not to handle...

Watch Charlie Manuel Read Phillies Players' Tweets Out Loud
I went to the MLB Fan Cave about a year ago. The place bummed me out. Two aspiring actors—actors, in the sense that they'd be good fits to play Turtle in Entourage: the Musical—sat before a lot of TV screens and Pepsi Max ads. Now I think back on it, there was bottomless Pepsi Max. And Bud Light, in...

Guy Who Ran On Field To Celebrate Johan Santana's No-Hitter Had To Spend Son's First Birthday In Jail
When Mets players mobbed Johan Santana at the mound after his no-hitter Friday night, they were briefly joined by an airline pilot from Long Island dressed in jorts and a Gary Carter jersey. You can see dude pretty clearly in the video of the celebration, including the moment when a couple of securi...

Todd Frazier Can Do Anything Better Than Anyone
OK, this is getting ridiculous. After telling you all about Reds third baseman Todd Frazier's Herculean accomplishments on and off the field, and uncovering his status as the prodigal son of Toms River, N.J., we were pretty certain that the man couldn't get any more like like Bill Brasky. We were wr...

Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...

Pablo Sandoval Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault
Rehab was going pretty well for San Francisco's third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, until sometime mid-afternoon Friday: working out and rehabbing on his own, enjoying a break from the daily grind of Major League Baseball, getting a little "consensual, personal relationship of a sexual nature" action....