Happy Thanksgiving, Fellow Consumers!

Well, we're checking out early here today, because it's the day before Thanksgiving, and if we don't get out of here now, we're going to end up spending Turkey Day trapped in this dead, lonely, Alanis Morissette-spewing surburban Starbucks, the only place we can find around here with wireless access. (Hey, you know what just occurred to us? Starbucks puts a shitload of caffeine in their drinks. Anybody notice that? Sorry. We had to channel our inner Peter King there.)

We'll be taking the day off for the holiday tomorrow, but if you decide that you absolutely cannot handle fighting blue-haired women in sheep sweaters for the newest Furby, or whatever the hell they're buying their rugrats these days, we'll be back posting on Friday. Enjoy the games tomorrow. After all the crap we're gonna eat, we're fairly certain we'll end the day looking pretty much just like Bill Parcells.

Be safe out there. If need be, we suggest you make yourself some Turducken for the big day. Goes down smooth as a mountain stream.

The Road To Turducken [The Black Table]