Whitlock Roasts Himself, But Mostly Roasts Irvin

Fascinating column this week from The Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock, who, of course, is well-known to most by his frequent appearances on ESPN, television, online and otherwise. While discussing an apparent "roast" planned for him in the Kansas City area (featuring potshots from Tony Kornheiser, Mike "Hey, Where's My TV Show?" Lupica and, inexplicably, Jeff George), Whitlock strays from the company line momentarily in discussing ESPN "colleague" Michael Irvin.

Former Dallas Cowboy and current ESPN football analyst Michael Irvin said he put his "friend s" drug pipe under the driver s seat of his car because he didn t want his children to find it in a trash can in his home. Now, if you believe Irvin s story, then you must also believe that Irvin is totally devoid of common sense and therefore has no business being on television analyzing anything.

Of course, it's nearly impossible to believe Irvin, especially if you listened to his radio interview with Dan Patrick, watched his TV interview with Stuart Scott or read the police report of his arrest on Friday. Irvin told police that his brother left the drug pipe and baggies with traces of marijuana residue in his Mercedes. The pipe and baggies were hidden in a Versace sunglasses case under the driver s seat.

On TV and radio, Irvin pinned everything on his anonymous "friend" and told the world that several of his brothers and sisters have or had drug problems. Did I mention that The Pipemaker/Playmaker failed to tell his bosses at ESPN that he was arrested? Yeah, The Pipemaker showed up for "NFL Countdown" on Sunday without even a mention of his arrest.

The Pipemaker, who bragged about his "transparency" during his interview with Patrick, was a little less transparent about his latest arrest. ESPN learned of The Pipemaker s arrest Sunday night when reporters called seeking comment from the network. ESPN's reaction to all of this "transparency?" The Pipemaker was on "Monday Night Countdown" shucking, jiving, laughing when nothing was funny and butchering the English language just like usual.

Whitlock has always been a little bit of a maverick at ESPN, but, you know, this goes a little bit beyond that Sean Salisbury-John Clayton "feud."

Get Ready For A Juicy Roast [KC Star]

(Update: It has been pointed out to us that Jeff George and Whitlock went to high school together. This is a great piece of trivia that we were unaware of.)