Flag-Humping President Disinvites Eagles From White House Visit [Update]

The Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles aren’t going to be at the White House for the presidential visit that was pretty much traditional until the Golden State Warriors blew off Donald Trump. According to a statement from the President, the Eagles “wanted to send a smaller delegation,” implying that outspoken critics of Trump like Chris Long, who skipped the Patriots’ White House visit last year, wouldn’t be caught dead with some whiny racist trying to clamp down on their protests. (Last season’s Super Bowl champs, the Patriots, had several hold-outs from the ceremony, including Tom Brady, but it went on as scheduled anyway.)

Instead of celebrating the Eagles, the White House will provide a safe space for everyone offended by protests against racial injustice, and hold what basically appears to be a contest to see who can best prove their loyalty by standing the straightest for the national anthem.

Don’t worry everyone, the flag is safe from those kneeling meanies.

Update (10:16 p.m. ET): From the :

White House officials said that fewer than 10 members of the team were planning to attend the celebration on Tuesday afternoon on the South Lawn despite weeks of planning for the event.

So in Trump’s defense, a patriotic circle jerk probably will be less lame than just pretending all the football players actually came to his party.