Football Page 1000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Peyton Manning's Hairline Is A Lie
Eagle-eyed reader Jim writes in that an ad campaign on ESPN.com features multiple Peyton Manning hairlines scattered amongst inane takes by Stephen A. Smith and fantasy football promotions. The former NFL QB is shilling for some brand you’ve never heard of, and when we checked for ourselves we found...
How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...
Report: Jacoby Brissett Needs Surgery On His Thumb
New England Patriots quarterback Jacoby Brissett injured his thumb in Thursday’s game against the Houston Texans and will need surgery, according to Mike Petraglia of WEEI....
You Already Know What Mike Ditka Thinks Of Colin Kaepernick, So Let's Just Laugh At His Big Dumb Head
Mike Ditka, a racist porcupine with a perpetual sunburn, has weighed in on the Colin Kaepernick situation. You really don’t need me to tell you exactly what he had to say about Kaepernick, because you already know that Ditka is a rotten old fuck who has been muttering, “If you don’t like America, yo...
The Seahawks Would Like To See White NFL Players Join The National Anthem Protests
In Tulsa, a police officer has been charged with manslaughter in the shooting death of Terence Crutcher. In Charlotte, a curfew and the presence of the National Guard led to mostly peaceful protests after two nights of clashes with riot police, even as the family of Keith Scott called for the public...
The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...
Greg Schiano Hit A Cyclist With His Car And Sent Him To The Hospital
Greg Schiano, world-historic asshole coach, is working for Ohio State in his first coaching job since getting shitcanned by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers three years ago. Everyone hated him in Tampa, but his tenure with the Buckeyes has been nice and quiet so far. Until this morning, that is, when he ran...
Chip Kelly Backs Colin Kaepernick, Terrible Columnist Fusses Like A Baby
Press Democrat columnist Lowell Cohn is one of the very worst sportswriters in the business—he’s the dude who once compared PED users to murderers—so it’s no surprise that he has a problem with Colin Kaepernick. In fact, ol’ Lowell is so steamed about this issue that he felt it necessary to lecture ...
Text Messages Show Ex-Auburn Football Player Saying "I'm Sorry" To Woman Who Said He Raped Her
Two weeks ago, Auburn tight end Landon Rice left the football team due to what coach Gus Malzahn said were “personal reasons.” Those reasons, it turned out, were actually a rape investigation by police and a request for a restraining order filed by the woman who said Rice raped her. Rice’s lawyers r...
New Touchback Rule Designed To Reduce Number Of Kickoff Returns Is Actually Increasing Them<em></em>
I do not like to say I told you so (I love to say it), but all my haters and doubters (there were none) can eat every last speck of my shit. ...
Who To Start? Who To Sit? Fantasy Football Advice For Week Three Is Here.<em></em>
Week three of the NFL season is upon us, and if you’re one of the 75 million fantasy football players in the world, you’re probably wondering who to start and who to sit. Our weekly fantasy football advice column is here to answer all of your questions....
Indiana Football Player Charged With Felony Child Molestation (UPDATE)
Indiana University freshman wide receiver Kiante Enis was charged with two counts of felony child molestation Thursday, according to the Randolph County (Ind.) Sheriff. Here is the press release from the sheriff’s department (sic throughout):...
Leonard Williams, We Know What Happened To Your Hookah Parts
Jets defensive lineman Leonard Williams recently ordered some parts for his hookah, but he never got them. Leonard, the cops have your hookah stuff....
Rams Lose Lawsuits To PSL Holders They Left Behind In St. Louis
The Los Angeles Rams will have to offer some former St. Louis personal seat license holders the opportunity to buy season tickets in their new L.A. stadium, as well as refund the deposit for other former personal seat license holders, a federal judge ruled yesterday....
Here's A Truly Bonkers One-Handed Catch
Look at this catch, man. ...
Lone Bright Spot For The Browns Injured Too
The Cleveland Browns, an alleged NFL team, are so thoroughly screwed. Part of this is by design. Part of this is because they’ve suffered a horrific stretch of injuries. RG3 (few people’s idea of a savior) hurt his shoulder, his backup hurt his shoulder, and now the team has to start a rookie next w...
Jim Grobe Says Shawn Oakman Comments Taken Out Of Context, Is Full Of Shit
When asked Monday whether he knew Shawn Oakman—the former Baylor defensive end indicted for sexual assault—had entered his team’s locker room, Baylor coach Jim Grobe said he didn’t know who Oakman was. Now, he’s saying those comments were taken out of context (they weren’t) and the media did a poor ...