Football Page 1704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Jeez, Ethel, That's A Penis They're Knocking Around Down There"
Just for shits and giggles, we present to you The World Famous Purdue Inflatable Penis, from last week's Purdue-Indiana game. Sometimes, we really miss college....
We <i>Thought</i> That Cook Looked A Lot Like Mike Sherman
Well, at least there's one good thing about playing for the Raiders, says Warren Sapp. When you're 2-8, no one poisons your food. Sapp used our most hallowed food-related holiday to reminisce about the time that, when he played for Tampa Bay, someone tried to take him out like a KGB spy. And he's ...
Six Quarterbacks On Thanksgiving
Though yesterday might not have featured the most thrilling triumvirate of games — two blowouts during the day and a sloppy field-goal laden mess at night — it did give us our yearly Guy To Talk About During Thanksgiving. In the past, it has been Randy Moss, Jerome Bettis, Leon Lett, every year ther...
Enjoy Thanksgiving Night Football (Maybe, Probably Not)
The slate of NFL games for Thanksgiving Day, as is often the case, aren't the most exciting, if just because we have to deal with Detroit every year. The Dallas game features the glory of Bruce Gradkowski, so that's not all too inspiring either....
The Great Big North Texas Football Family
Far be it from us to tell someone how to run their Division I-A football program, but we think as far as dysfunction goes, the North Texas Big Green take the proverbial taco....
"OHIO STATE!!!!!!"
This video, from a Fox News report from Columbus on the death of former Michigan coach Bo Schembechler, shows the inherent danger in doing any kind of live report near Ohio Stadium, pretty much at any time. Though, to be fair, we think this lady might just yell this all the time, anywhere she is, re...
The Fast And The Furious
We know that the 49ers are officially back as contenders, because one of their players was arrested on Sunday night on reckless and drunken driving charges. Just hours after the team's win over the Seattle Seahawks, wide receiver Antonio Bryant was taken into custody after his Lamborghini was seen s...
Bobby Bowden Is All About The Series Of Tubes
Few jokes have as many comedic legs as a good Old People Don't Understand The Interwebs story. They're tough to beat; old people are so DUMB!...
It Is Important To Keep Tony Banks Fed
It's important to remember your duties as the wife of an NFL quarterback. You're required to show up at charity functions, look the other way on those road trips, make sure your eye makeup is spackled on and, of course, making sure your fumbling, erratic husband is properly fed. Eventually, they'll ...
Naked Smart People!
Because nothing's better than an Ivy League streaker, here's video of a guy somehow making it onto the field of The Big Game last Saturday between Harvard and Yale....
Devoted To The Packers' Backup QB
We found it amusing that, with everyone all concerned about Brett Favre's injury last week, it turned out that he was fine ... but backup Aaron Rodgers ended up out for the season. Has to be frustrating; you're stuck behind Favre, and once you finally get in, you hurt yourself....
Giants Look Anything But Sharp And Dapper
Among the many reasons for Giants coach Tom Coughlin to feel like a bit of a doofus last night, the fact that he was wearing the standard coachwear of a blue poncho festooned with the soul of a windbreaker, while Jack Del Rio finally found a way to not look like a meathead in his rather sharp suit. ...
Hello, Jacksonville, And Welcome Back To The National Stage
After a couple weeks of rather wretched Monday Night Games, we've got a halfway decent one tonight, with the Giants, frantically trying to hold off Tony Romo and the Cowboys in the NFC East, traveling to the urban mecca that is Jacksonville to face the Jaguars....
Goodnight, Sweet Knights
Before anyone becomes too caught up in the Who Will Ohio State Play In The BCS Title Game? talk, let's take a moment to lament the end of college football's best storyline, the Rutgers Scarlet Knights, who laid an egg against Cincinnati, losing 30-11 and ending any (probably fanciful anyway) dream...
NFL Roundup: Romo In The Morning, Romo In The Evening
News And Notes From Week 11 in the NFL....
Sunday Night Football: Chargers @ Broncos
You've got LaDainian Tomlinson trying to be the fastest to get to 100 TDs, you've got a struggling Jake Plummer trying to hold onto his starting job, you've got an important game between two AFC teams with legit Super Bowl hopes... but I don't think game previews get any more insightful or poignant ...
NFL Week Eleven, Update #4
• Dallas is taking knees now, and the talk of an Indy undefeated season can now be put to bed. Dallas wins 24-21, and I doubt that the Colts really mind that much. Not that they ever want to lose, but at least they won't have to deal with those questions the rest of the year. Peyton Manning had a pr...
NFL Week Eleven, Update #3
• This is not a score that I saw coming. The 49ers have ripped open a 20-0 lead over the Seahawks, despite the return of Shaun Alexander. Alexander's carried 7 times for 9 yards, and Seneca Wallace has thrown two interceptions. Frank Gore's making a pretty solid case these past two weeks for best ru...
NFL Week Eleven, Update #2
• The game, for some reason, is taking a painfully long time... but with no Donovan McNabb, I'm thinking a comeback is unlikely. Pac-Man Jones had an incredible punt return for a touchdown, showing why he's worth keeping around even if his assault on the Nashville legal system continues. As for McNa...
NFL Week Eleven, Update #1
• Alright, it's time for an NFL update that you'll probably never see because the damn site is broken. I think the actual blogging software is rejecting the notion that Mike Tyson is now fucking for money... the blogging software is sad, and it doesn't feel like working today. I understand....