NFL Page 1252 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just Because He Tapes His Penis To His Thigh Is No Reason To Judge
"After David Akers nails 55 YD FG in practice, Jon Dorenbos exhalts in celebration, screaming, 'Einhorn's a man!'" [Via]...

I Guess We've Solved All The Real Free Speech Issues
A Central Pennsylvania town is tackling the pernicious threat of Steelers fans. Now the ACLU's getting involved. This is going to be uglier than tonight's game....

Oakland's Happy Family Just Got A Little More Dysfunctional
Randy Hanson, noted coach punchee, is back working with the Raiders. Even for a historically feckless franchise, this is surprising. Let's look at the possibilities....

Guns, Booze, and Saints Fans: A Drama In One Act
Even if this turns out to be a viral video for Smith and Wesson, you kind of know this really happened somewhere in Louisiana, right? [YouTube, thanks Ed!]...

NFL.com Gives The Fans A (Stupid, Racist) Voice
Like most websites, NFL.com sets aside space to highlight the wittiest, most intriguing comments from its legion of readers in a special place labeled, "The Crowd Has Spoken." Unfortunately, the crowd is mostly angry, illiterate jacknobs....

E.J. Henderson's Leg Should Not Bend That Way
In case you missed it, the Vikings' E.J. Henderson took a nasty shot last night....but Al Michaels had no problem breaking out the break talk for the guy with the broken femur. Break. [YouTube, D4L, SSF]...

A Turdfest On Paper Gives Us A Few Gems
Ten early games, and only one features two teams with winning records. Rex Grossman, Matt Moore, Brodie Croyle, Daunte Culpepper and Chris Redman all took snaps today. But what's this about upsets?...

Your Late Games Open Thread
Mike Vick was soundly booed every time he touched the ball, until his two TDs heralded "We Want Vick" chants. Probably led by these two ladies! Discuss the beginning of Tony Romo's annual December meltdown in the comments. [AJC]...

Hey Look, More Things Wrong With NFL Overtime!
As if it weren't enough that a random coin toss essentially decides the winner in a significant majority of overtimes, now comes SCIENCE! to tell us that the flip of the coin may not be so random....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Middle America wins the 1:00 games slate (or should I say "noon games," our new Hardee's-eating overlords?) as us coastal elite miss out on the promising Indy/Tennessee game. I promise to be nicer next time I'm changing planes. [The506]...

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Our Nation's Athletes' Traffic Violations Are No Longer Below-The-Fold News
Adrian Peterson was ticketed for doing 109 in a who-cares-how-many mph zone. But a police spokesperson took pains to assure the press that the traffic stop was "very routine." This is the world we live in now. [Pioneer Press]...

Looking For Dick
This is what it means to be a Bills fan: You spend your December days hunched over a team photo like some Bletchley Park code cracker, looking for proof that your recently shitcanned coach has been photoshopped into oblivion....

An 18-Game NFL Season? Be Careful What You Wish For
There's rumblings that the NFL is looking into the possibility of expanding the season by two weeks. This might sound like Christmas coming early, but there's a few good reasons to be wary....

'Tis The Season To Call Out Your Quarterback
Sunday saw two stars publicly questioning their respective QBs. Now, with a few news cycles to think about it, Hines Ward is sorry. Brian Urlacher, not so much....

Tom Brady Will Never Forget 9/11, U2's Super Bowl Halftime Show
Brady reminisces about 2002: "Your first chance to play in a Super Bowl and winning the Super Bowl, and of course the circumstances of that year with 9-11 happening and U2 performing at halftime — that was pretty unbelievable." [CBSSports.com]...

Pats-Saints: Your Open Thread
Sean Payton compared Bill Belichick's Patriots to Microsoft in a nice way. Belichick talked wistfully about deep-sea fishing with Payton. At some point tonight, the two men will hop off the tandem bike and coach a very important football game....

Does It Make You Feel Better To Know You Weren't Favored To Begin With?
On a shortened Sunday slate, two huge upsets looked possible late. But that's why they play 60 minutes (or in Houston and Washington's cases, 45)....

Your Late Games Open Thread
Grab a snack from the kitchen (or, if you're JaMarcus Russell, a bag of Skittles from your waistband), and settle in for three hours of either Brett Favre or Matt Leinart. There are no winners....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Well, someone is convinced the country really wants to see the Redskins play. But after last week's Detroit/Cleveland showstopper, I promised the scheduling gods I'd never question their wisdom again. [The506]...