NFL Page 1287 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Giant Balls Vs. Dwight Schrute For Hearts And Minds On Super Bowl Sunday
In a bold frontal attack that makes Pickett's charge look like a game of Red Rover and the Normandy Invasion seem like a visit from the grandparents, ABC will storm NBC's programming fortress on Super Bowl Sunday with the intent of stealing ever viewer possible. Their weapon? The obstacle course she...

Hey Steve, Have This Souvenir Cup!
The fans in Carolina are so polite. After sitting through an exciting Monday Night Football game and then being forced to do a lengthy SportsCenter wrap up, Steve Young was clearly too busy to run to the concession stand and get a tasty soda. So some helpful Panther backer decided to gently toss his...

The Titans Won, And There Was Much Rejoicing
In the most inevitable—yet still shocking—development of the weekend, the Tennessee Titans have wrapped up the AFC South. It's not so socking that they managed to end up on top of their division, but what is surprising is the way they did it. Their opening day quarterback had a complete meltdown in ...

America's Most Distracted Team Still Wins NFC East
Somehow this loss is all Antonio Pierce's fault. But even though the Giants were pushed around by the revitalized Iggles, they were still NFC East champions at the end of the day. The best highlight from yesterday's 20-14 loss from a Giants perspective was Tom Coughlin's joyous sprint down the sidel...

This Must Be Some Sort Of Mistake
I see the words that have been hastily scrawled with Magic Marker on this sweat-soaked towel, but I'm not sure I understand what they mean. It seems to imply that the Cardinals are in fact the NFC West Division champions. The Arizona Cardinals? The football team? Whatever! (Let the record show that ...

Morten Andersen Retires
Someone finally informed the NFL's all-time leading scorer that he is no longer in the NFL, so he officially announced his retirement today from Denmark. Andersen played 25 years for five different teams and the 63-yarder he hit in 1981 is still a Big Ten record. [AP/Google]...

Michael Vick Spent $201K On The Day He Went To Jail
First off, I think it's a ton of shit when the media point to professional athletes as people that "have it all," as they've been saying about Plaxico Burress, for example. One thing they don't have? Common sense, apparently (who wears sweatpants to a club?) Michael Vick reaffirmed as much, when a r...


1 PM Games: Your Last-Minute NFL Cheat Sheet
Atlanta (8-4) at New Orleans (6-6). The Atlanta Falcons would get the 6-seed in the NFC playoffs if the NFL season ended last week. New Orleans needs to win here just to stay alive in the wild card race (they're tied for 10th with the Bears), but the Saints really need to win out or their season is ...

Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...

How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...

Bernard Hopkins Not Exactly In Donovan McNabb's Corner
And now a few words from Bernard Hopkins, former middleweight and light heavyweight world champion, Philadelphia native (Germantown), prison guest and all-around badass. Subject: Donovan McNabb. Venue: KNBR-680 (San Francisco) radio, Thursday afternoon. Mood: Huffy. Key quote: "I wish the Wizard of ...

Plaxico Burress: Second Amendment Martyr
Well, here's a new take on the Plaxico situation. "Policy analyst" David Kopel has an editorial in today's Wall Street Journal, arguing that Plaxico Burress has been wronged. Not because he faces three-and-a-half years in Attica for what is essentially a victimless crime. (If you're not counting his...

Deadspin Reader Heroically Attends Screening Of Ryan Leaf Movie
In a simpler time, Mike Sebeckis was known as Seabass, Deadspin commenter extraordinaire. A software engineer who has been living in San Diego for 2 1/2 years, he doesn't have much time to frolic in the comments section these days; although he is still a regular reader and thinks Baby Mangino is a l...

Plaxico Burress Saga Turning Into Awful Russian Novel
This web of lies that is surrounding Plaxico Burress and his ventilated right thigh just keeps getting wider and stickier. As of this morning, it has now ensnared his wife, two doctors, an entire hospital, half of New York's backfield, and the guy who lights the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center....

In The Club With Antonio Pierce
In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large...

NFL Suspends Six Players Under Cover Of Night
So while the rest of the sports world was preoccupied last night with sweatpants and second helpings and trading contracts (and also some things are not related to Charlie Weis) the NFL decided to hide another little nugget of fun in the 6:00 p.m. news dump. Six players—including half of the Minneso...

Coming Soon To A Library Near You ...
If you're like me, you're constantly writing to Paramount and TriStar demanding to know when the life of Ryan Leaf will be made into a movie. Put away that spec script, because it's already here. Filmmaker Tim Carr has made Leaf, an 82-minute film about the former Chargers quarterback, which, accord...

Colbert: It's High Time The Government Stays Out Of Our Sweatpants
If you think you've considered all angles of the Plaxico Burress story, think again. Stephen Colbert provides food for thought in this segment from Tuesday's Colbert Report, in which he asks the perfectly reasonable question, why should a consensual act between a man and his semiautomatic Glock hand...

Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...