NFL Page 1371 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Week Eight, Update #4
• Colts 34, Broncos 31. If the Colts weren't the class of the AFC before this week, they certainly are now. They went into Mile High against a nearly impenetrable defense, hung 34 points on them, and got the win on the foot of Adam Vinatieri. No one else has come close to being able to do that to De...
NFL Week Eight, Update #3
• San Diego 14, St. Louis 7. Shawne Merriman has two sacks for the Chargers, and has been awfully jubilant about them for a guy with such a large and dark cloud hanging over his head. It would take an even bigger set of balls, though, if he were to mimic jabbing a syringe into his ass after he got a...
NFL Week Eight, Update #2
• Jaguars 13, Eagles 6. Alright, the Eagles officially aren't that good. You may have figured this out before me, but I'm now convinced. They just managed six points in a home game that they pretty much had to win. The Garrard/Leftwich issue was probably not a factor... the Jags won while getting 87...
NFL Week Eight, Update #1
• Baltimore 28, New Orleans 7. The Ravens have completely bottled up Dulymus McAllister and Reggie Bush... combined rushing and receiving, Bush and McAllister have combined for a total of 7 yards. The Ravens are doing just about anything they want... save for one long Drew Brees to Joe Horn TD pas...
Week 8 NFL Preview:
Falcons @ Bengals. Chad Johnson—er, excuse me—Ocho Cinco has promised two touchdowns and two endzone dances, and if he doesn't deliver, I'm never going to forgive him. I said last week that the Panthers/Bengals game was probably our last chance this year for a good endzone celebration, but Chad John...
The Scary Kind Of Skullcap
Not that many days left until Halloween, and in the tradition of the great Randy Moss mask, we happily introduce you to the Chad Johnson Mohawk Head Piece....
Would You Like Claws With That?
Todd Haley is the receivers coach for the Dallas Cowboys, which means, as is, his life is pretty much terrible. He also doesn't have much time to cook, since he apparently only takes his family out for McDonald's. That's bad enough, but even worse when they McSalad has a huge freaking rat in it....
That's Nothing: We Once Got Busy In A Burger King Bathroom
Well, it's not exactly the greatest all-time bathroom stall story, but hey, it's Seattle, not Tampa: We'll take what we can get....
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Ben Roethlisberger Falls To Pieces
We don't mean to imply that Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is suffering from an alarmingly high number of ailments right now, but we think we saw this sign on a telephone pole outside our current Mattoon dwelling earlier today....
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
That'll Be All, Bill
You know, it's funny: The Dallas Cowboys' season appears to be disintegrating, and even though Terrell Owens had to go so far as to try to kill himself to derail the team, he seems to be the least of their problems....
No Steroids In The NFL, Nope: That's Baseball's Problem
If you will, a case study:...
Donovan McNabb Has A Weak Constitution
Amazingly, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb did this before Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal — with room to spare! — to beat his team yesterday....
Everybody's Getting Naked On The Internet These Days
Taking a cue from the success of Redskins.com last season, the Philadelphia Eagles have been streaming postgame interviews with their players on their official Web site. Considering yesterday's difficult loss, you can find plenty of people with plenty to talk about....
NFL Roundup: Chiefs Party On The Field This Time
News And Notes From Week 7 Of The NFL...
NFL Week Seven, Update #3
• Redskins 14, Colts 13. Not only did the people of Indianapolis have to deal with the fright of seeing Peyton Manning's body's body get bent in the opposite direction that Kenny Chesney usually bends it, but the Colts are losing to the underdog Redskins. Manning's fine, I guess it's not that big of...
NFL Week Seven, Update #2
• Buccaneers 23, Eagles 21. Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant has a leg like Tom Jones's dick. Bryant hit a 62-yarder with no time left on the clock to give the Buccaneers the win, and actually put them on a little bit of a winning streak. Donovan McNabb threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, b...
NFL Week Seven, Update #1
• Panthers 14, Bengals 7. Three touchdowns in the game, but none of them belong to Steve Smith or Chad Johnson. For Carolina, it's been the electric Nick Goings and the human highlight reel, Kris Mangum. For the Bengals, it's someone named "R. Kelly," and I think hs first name is Reggie, but I'm not...