Military Physical Fitness Tests, Ranked

1. U.S. Marine Corps
20 dead-hang pull-ups
100 crunches within two minutes
3-mile run, 18 minutes (6:00/mile)
Fresh-squeezed blood at hydration stations

2. Navy
Really doesn't want to come out of the pool
87 pushups
105 curl-ups (sit-up variant)
1.5-mile run, 8:30 (5:26/mile)

3. Army
71 pushups
78 sit-ups
2-mile run, 13 minutes (6:30/mile)
Recruiting waiver overhead press

4. Air Force
67 push-ups within one minute
58 sit-ups within one minute
1.5-mile run, 9:36 (6:24/mile)
Calls barracks "dorms"

5. Boy Scout Troop 278, Kenosha, Wisc.
After homework is done
Still has a problem with the gays

6. Shady Hills Retirement Home Recreation Hour
Very active between 6:30 and 8:00 a.m.
Unprotected after-party

7. Coast Guard
Pastries
29 pushups within one minute
38 sit-ups within one minute
1.5-mile run, 12:51 (8:34/mile)
Pastries


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