Oh God, My Car's Been Invaded By Rats

Team Jalopnik rolls into the studio to talk about cleaning your cars.

God, this episode was SO fun. Kristen Lee remains terrifying and perfect in every way.

Here’s what Patrick George, Kristen and I covered in my 82nd episode:

Kristen talked us through the products she uses for her car cleaning regimen;

Patrick makes his case for skipping the Kristen cleaning routine in favor of a gas station car wash (ALWAYS BRUSHLESS);

What to do about bird shit on the car;

A German product that addresses the problem of odors in the vent system;

Removing stubborn water stains on windows.

We ended the Jalopisode with a rat infestation horror story so righteous that Kristen declared, “Jolie, this is fucking war,” and Patrick advocated for arson or a Viking funeral. They might really want to commit the arson:

Over in the bonus episode, I begged Patrick to buy me and Raph Orlove this boss pink dump truck so that Team Jalopnik can teach me to drive in it. Then, Patrick told a story about glue traps that absolutely slayed me and Kristen, and led into a discussion of which of the Jalopnik writers would make terrifying vampires.

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