Last time we checked in on Alexander Ovechkin he was compulsively hoisting the Stanley Cup in various spots around Nationals Park after throwing out a pair of ceremonial first pitches. It was an early afternoon game for the Nats, leaving Ovechkin with a whole evening of freedom. So how’d he spend it?

That is an extremely hammered Ovechkin doing a keg stand out of the Stanley Cup at a restaurant down on the Georgetown waterfront. And here we have several extremely hammered Capitals, including a shirtless Ovechkin, frolicking in a decorative fountain:

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This turned quickly into an impromptu community dance party, in a decorative fountain, as happens. Soon the damp, drunken Cup Hoister turned up at nearby Cafe Milano, where first of all he hoisted the damn cup!

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You will notice, Ovechkin and the Cup wound up behind the bar. Jacob Bogage of the Washington Post has a much more comprehensive chronology of the Cup’s last 24 hours or so, but I would like to draw your attention to these last two images. First, the day wasn’t without its close brushes with evil:

But so far as I can tell everyone survived! At least long enough for this to happen:

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That is one worn out, shit-faced individual, right there. How many days can he keep this up? The victory parade isn’t scheduled until Tuesday! That’s two days from now!