Rankings Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Best Night Of The Week To Get Piss Drunk
It’s Friday. A glorious weekend of drinking awaits you. You can hardly wait. It’s not five yet, but you yearn to break free of work NOW and drench yourself head to toe in pure Thunderbird....
The Buzzsaw That Is The Super Bowl
It seems my beloved teams are making a habit out of this Ridiculous Postseason Run business. In retrospect, it was the only way it could have gone down....
The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals FAQ
Because I'm the only Arizona fan many people know, I've been asked often to comment on the utter ridiculousness of Glendale hosting the NFC Championship game. For brevity, I've put together a Buzzsaw FAQ....
Yes, Virginia, There Are Other Buzzsaw Fans
An hour before the tailgating area in Glendale opened Saturday, I met more Arizona Cardinals fans than I'd met in my life. There were three. We were packing the car....
A Vulgar Display of Power
Pretty fascinating look at the year in ESPN's NFL Power Rankings. The Atlanta Falcons were actually ranked dead last at the beginning of the year. [Simon On Sports]...
If You Can, Everyone Please Go See Your Grandmothers, Right Now
I went home for Christmas, and I dropped by and saw my grandmother. She's a very nice lady....
R.I.P. Dock Ellis: The Curveball That Rode The Dragon
It is fitting that the great Dock Ellis died on a Friday, which is the worst day to die. Nobody pays attention to news on Saturdays....
Grierson And Leitch, At The Movies
When I was in high school, I wanted to be Roger Ebert when I grew up....
The PLAYOFF Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals
Of all the pictures taken during The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals' NFC West-clinching "win" over the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, that one there is my favorite. It is somehow perfect that, when the Arizona Cardinals won their first division championship since 1975 (the year I was born!), the ...
Newspapers Are Revelant And Helpful, Particularly If You Like Ike
On Thanksgiving morning, I picked up a copy of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer, the daily paper round those parts. I did it out of habit; I was eating an English muffin and needed something to do with my other hand. Whatever your thoughts about the newspaper industry, I think we can all agree tha...
Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...
Chinese Democracy, 15 Years Down, Five Days To Go
Of all the Guns 'N Roses stories, the "Rocket Queen" one is my favorite. When "Appetite For Destruction" was recorded, the moaning sounds on the album's closer (which might be my favorite G'N'R song, actually), were captured while Adriana Smith, a 19-year-old stripper who had been dating drummer St...
Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...
Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...
It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!
So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every y...
You Should Probably Stop Having Birthday Parties When You're 11
I turned 33 over the weekend. There's something inherently sad about a single 33-year-old man hosting his own birthday party. I remember when my father turned 33; I was 11. It was my parents, my sister and myself eating tacos and watching the Cardinals game. That was pretty fun. I've had birthday b...
Oh, For The Days Of Rape And Murder Questions At Debates
The second Presidential debate is tonight, coinciding, quite helpfully, with the first night off of the baseball postseason. I spend about 45 percent of my workday reading political blogs from all sides of the spectrum, some conservative, some (OK, more) liberal, and absolutely none written by tha...
This Column Is Desperate For A Bailout
Before we get started, a few words on America's financial crisis. (Because hey, who knows more about our economy than a sports blogger from Nowhere, Illinois?) I am going to apply my years of insight as reporter for Registered Rep. magazine, as well as my minutes upon minutes of CNBC viewing, to ex...
Connecticut To Fully Come To Terms With The Concept Of Impermanence
UConn is the new No. 1 ranked team until they lose at Louisville tonight. [Yahoo, photo via]...